New York Eve

That last post was terrible.  For some reason, I needed to have my 250th post on New Year's Day.  I was hungover and not feeling terribly "share-y" or reflective.  I didn't even feel the need to talk about how I spent NYE in Brooklyn and Manhattan!

My friend lives in Brooklyn in old, comfy, and roomy apartment   She shares the space with two other people; the roommate I met is middle-aged, of the crazy cat lady persuasion.  At 2 a.m., she came out of her room saying "don't worry you didn't wake me up, but I just want to see if I can get you guys anything."  She proceeded to hang out and talk to us for about 20 minutes, trying to make us food and telling us stories.  We were all just so tired and drunk, bed was the only thing on our minds.

To be fair, the crazy cat lady didn't come out at 2 a.m. saying "you damn kids making all that racket, how dare you!"

Before all that, we arrived in Brooklyn around 4 p.m. and had to come up with a plan.  My thoughts of spending NYE in any of the five boroughs has always been super crowded, really expensive, and not that fun.  Planning our night that afternoon seemed like it was going to fulfill what I was imagining.  Everyplace was sold out of tickets, or not letting people in until 11 p.m.  Not only were we looking for plans of our little group of 5, other people would be meeting us later.  Extra pressure!

We ended up with two options:  an 80s themed bar in Brooklyn, really close to the apartment, or meeting some different friends in Lower Manhattan who already had seats at the bar.

For many reasons, we ended up taking the G & C to Manhattan.

When we first walked into Ulysses, I had my doubts.  It was crowded and we ended up standing in a "hallway" type area which was only wide enough for one person, so when people tried to walk by, there was a lot of up-close-and-personal touching.  But, we had a great bartender, and in the first 15 minutes I had a beer and three shots.  After that, I really started having fun!

Everyone was really nice and friends paid for a lot of our drinks.  I couldn't believe it when we were already counting down the time!  After the clock switched to midnight, everyone sang along to Frank Sinatra's "New York New York".  Honestly, it was the best New Years I've had in awhile.

Let me say this:  I was wrong.  I do not know everything.  I am only 24 years old and not all of my preconceived notions are even close to being reality.  A good lesson to keep in mind for 2013.

I heart Chicago

The amount of stories I have to write about from this past week is staggering.  Unfortunately, in this age of "Omg, you have a blog and you wrote what you think about us? You're fired." Means I can write very little about my trip to Chicago.

Chicago is a great city.  This time, I actually got a chance to walk around and see the city, which is beautifully decorated for the holiday season.  There's a cupcake ATM, a lit up Trump Hotel, waterways through the city, and a clean, friendly feeling around the city.  I was able to visit my good friend Brittany again.  We've been friends since middle school, and being able to share memories and stories, old and new, over martinis is something I love.

The first stop we made after the hotel was the Blue Man Group show.  Way better and funnier than I thought it would be.  One of the girls in our group got pulled up onto stage which made it even more entertaining.

Next stop was dinner.  More on dinner below.

Next stop was the liquor store.  And boy, did we need it.

The rest of the trip was stressful and awkward, to say the least.  We worked out of our Chicago office when we weren't in training, and their connection is s....l........o..............w.  It was also cramped.  And loud, as there's no carpet or curtains or fabric of any kind absorbing noise.  However, the people that work there are awesome, so, some saving grace.

What I will say to the dinner awkwardness - imagine having dinner with 8 people, 4 of whom run the company and are oblivious to how utterly angry the other 4 people are at the table because of the way the first 4 treat the second 4.  Now, imagine the most important person being slightly intoxicated.  And asking hard and opened questions.  Whose answers cause arguments that attract attention from surrounding tables.

Now, imagine looking forward to that every single night of your trip.

If you can imagine that, you can understand why I now will stop talking about my long ass business trip to Chicago.

Comedy Clubs

My boo and I have a date tonight.  He told me to plan it.  He probably told me to plan it because I hate making decisions.  My little brother told him to start making me make decisions so I could get better at it.  I don't like this whole collusion thing they have going on...

So, this is what he gets - a date at open mic night.  I've never been before and it is something new.  And they have a hummus platter and guacamole, so there's my dinner.  Couldn't be more excited about that.

Now, I'm a little nervous.  Comedians can be mean sometimes, and I've seen on TV, they pick someone out of the crowd to poke fun at.  So help me God, if I start getting picked on while shoveling guacamole in my mouth and I drop some on my shirt, tomatoes flying will be the least of that comedian's problem.

However, I did think of a great comeback if the comedian says something like "Oh hey, look at those two on a date.  On a date where they don't have to talk to each other.  What a great relationship."

I'm going to respond in kind "yea, so what if we don't like talking.  And I beat him in public and he beats me in private.  That way it's socially acceptable, I mean, we must have a pretty good thing going on since so far we haven't gotten arrested.  Overall, we're pretty happy."  Deadpan and straight face.

The only person who will probably be laughing is my boo, who knows that quite often we illicit strange looks from people walking down the street because I'm deadpanning some joke while he "seriously" threatens me bodily harm. 

Yea, someone call 9-1-1.  Shawty fire burning on the dance floor.  Oh, and these people are about to beat each other up.



(Chalk this one up to a badly told story.  My  next post will be about how I'm listening to podcasts of storytelling in order to get better at it.........)

What happens before 7:30

I'm not a morning person.  Ask my long time roommate who knows not to speak to me in the morning and who, if he hears a "hmmphrmp" come out of my mouth, knows that means "good morning, hope you have a wonderful day, I'm going to drink my coffee now and continue ignoring any living breathing thing except for this damn cat that expects me to feed it and won't stop meowing or touching me until it has food in its bowl."

Yes, I am THAT good of a communicator.  A whole sentence in one non-vowel-ed word.

Today, I had the pleasure of waking up before 7 a.m. so that I could walk to the trolley, get home, dress, pack lunch and coffee, and get to work.  Oddly, I didn't mind the early hour so much.  I believe it was because the city was still asleep.  The only people out were food industry workers slowly opening up coffee shops, or the very few early morning dog walkers.  No morons.  No kids.  No homeless people asking me for change, or idiots asking for directions.  No tourists crossing the streets at the wrong time.  No horns blaring at the terrible city drivers.  No PPA people yelling or getting yelled at.  No music blaring or sirens screaming.

Just me, my music, and relative silence.

And my thoughts.

Which were scarce.  But one completely relevant.  When I was little, I used to wish that I was a boy.  No period, no icky emotions, no dresses, no doubts about sporting abilities, no awkward "you have to wear a bra now" talk and shopping trip...  But now, I'm glad to be a woman, I mean, we are clearly superior.  Right?!

Except that one thing.  Why can men fall back asleep so quickly!?!  Today I woke up at 6:00 am freaking out about where my phone was because I clearly hadn't heard my alarm go off yet.  The bf woke up, goes "are you okay" and immediately falls back asleep when it's clear I'm okay, just being nuts.  And I lay awake for the next hour, barely dosing off.  My mind is running in a million different directions, a main one being "wtf I am so pissed off that I'm awake right now". 

And again when my alarm actually goes off.  Bf just rolls over, keeps sleeping.  After I say goodbye, I wasn't concerned at all that he was lying awake because his stupid girlfriend just woke him the hell up.  Nope, out like a light I'm sure for the next hour.  (Which makes me happy, really.  Just b/c I have to get up early doesn't mean someone else shouldn't be allowed to sleep.)

And this isn't the first man I've known able to do this.  Constantly amazes me.  I wish I could bottle up that ability to just snooze and sell it.  I'd be a millionaire.

And as I proceeded down the trolley steps, SEPTA interrupted my thoughts and ruined the quiet pleasant morning.  But then again, SEPTA pretty much ruins everything.

Pork n Beer

When I bring people home to Central PA, they generally don't get to visit the "real" Central PA.  Fortunately, this weekend I went to visit part of my "extended-family".  We're not actually related, but we might as well be.

After driving for about 30 minutes, passing through to a different county, passing a few buggies, and driving on a dirt road, we get to our destination.  It was a birthday party for one of the girls!  We drank a little and I was going to leave, but then Matt asked me to play washers.  I love washers.

Imagine being in an old butcher house, throwing washers and drinking and laughing.  Then Matt says "you've never seen a rooster get drunk? Really?! They LOVE beer.  You can pour about two down it's throat at a time.  And pigs, they ABSOLUTELY love beer!"

And it just so happens, there were roosters and pigs in the barn.

And there was also beer in the barn.

And the piggies LOVE beer.

And they do get drunk!!  The roosters were watching and squawking while the dog was trying to get in on the action.  A few minutes later, we left the pigs staggering in the barn and went out to the bonfire which was keeping us warm in the glow of the super-moon.

And these are a few of my favorite nights with some of my favorite people.  I love Philly, but sometimes home is just where you need to be.

I mean, come on, where can you see pigs drinking beer in Philly?!?!  Oh right, the corner bar.....

You are such an Ice Queen

I was talking with a friend yesterday, after we unstuck her car from the snow, and she said "I love snow when it is pretty and only in the backyard of my suburb home."  Now, I can get behind the conditional love for snow.  Love it for two-hour delays, cancelled classes, snowball fights, and the white sheen it puts on the city for the first day it falls.  But sometimes, like now, when you've been walking on ice for the past week with no ice-free future in sight, it blows.

However, yesterday I saw two sights that made me happy.  As I was slipping and sliding to my landlord's front door, the bf spotted this lovely piece of artwork in his front yard.

It's a face with a little fort/castle pathway in the back.  Cute.  But I almost died trying to get a picture.  It looks better in person (but at least my Blackberry has a flash).  Poor dude's gonna die once the snow melts.  If that ever happens.

Okay, while the dude is cute, the next one is shady.  It was right next to an empty rape van.  At least I found it in the daylight....

"Urban-chic" photo.  Read: hipster.
I hope whoever dropped that is okay.  When I see kids items, like shoes, just chilling on the ground, I always worry for the little gals and girls of West Philly.  Because it's West Philly and its not kid friendly.

On another note, today I've been listening to The Tallest Man on Earth.  If you like relaxing folk-type music, you will love this dude.  Their album Shallow Grave has been on repeat all day, it is fantastic.  (Liz, blog about this soon...your opinion is better than mine!  Album is on dropbox.)

I'm off to the gym to run 2 whole miles and keep up with my goal of losing 30 lbs. by the end of May.  10 lbs down, 20 more to go!!

City of Brotherly Love

Two articles relevant to Philadelphians today...

One is about the backpack that was set on fire today on one of the SEPTA subway trains.

Contrary to reports on Twitter, there were no explosions and no injuries were reported.

Don't worry guys, Twitter is not a certified news source.  News to me.  Although it was correct when people said the Broad Street line (one of the two in Philadelphia) wasn't running for hours.  And that SEPTA didn't provide an alternative way to get to your end destination.  Problem solving isn't SEPTA's strong suite.  Neither is marketing or running on time.

JK.  We're actually not.

Besides the startling lack of continuity in public transportation, the City of Brotherly Love has been taking cues from Cain and Able.  When I saw this following picture, I chuckled.

Why?  Because the legend includes "Homicides since Friday."  It is Tuesday.  That is scary, and my sense of humor is morbid.  (Disclaimer:  none of these murders happened anywhere near where I live or frequent.  Otherwise, not so funny.)

Oddly enough, I need to decide whether to continue to live here or go elsewhere.  I make fun of Philly a lot, but there are things I really enjoy like concerts with friends.  Eating and drinking like a hipster on the cheap.  Being close to DC and NYC and my family.  Playing Angry Birds (Surgeon General Warning:  Smashing Pigs is Really Addictive but can also score you free beer) with the local bartender while getting wasteyface.  And, you know, etc.

And having a stoop.

PIctures Are Sometimes More Eloquent

Here's a shocker - I've been to a lot of bars lately.  Some marketing guru somewhere thought it would be a great idea to put advertisements in the bathroom.  I mean, what else are people gonna try to read while they are in there?  Not many people take comic books or regular books into a pub's restroom with them - that just downright says "I'm an alcoholic who can't leave the bar long enough to take a dump at home."

Luckily, I always take my phone.  One of the few reasons I would like a smartphone (specifically an iPhone) is so that I can do "check ins" on foursquare.

Because I want a free taco at a bar that charges 75 cents for a Miller High Life.
Classy. Lady. Right. Here.

This is in the bathroom at a local favorite bar of mine, Local 44.  I'm not sure why I took a picture of it or what it says.  But it was funny at the time.  Maybe just because it was in the bathroom.  Next time I go I will take a better picture.  It's a one room bathroom so it's not like I should've been rushing to get the picture in for fear that someone would see me and think I was strange.  [Like that doesn't happen all the time anyway].

Here are the two token pictures of my trip to AC.  Don't ask about the first one.  I must've been the same level of drunk for the last picture and this next one.  Same night.  No judgies.

Ya know how it goes.

Yea, we were there for the sunrise.  All of my friends said "ahh, how romantic."  I told them to shut the hell up, it was about as romantic as me trying not to toss my cookies at brunch.  It could've been.  I'm just a little dense.

The next picture is a throwback from June.  My friend saw it on Facebook and was like "will you take pictures at my wedding?  I love the filter on your camera."

Little did she know the recipe for that filter is a $25 Kodak digital camera and a bottle of carpet cleaner leaked in a purse and shaken around.

At least that could be my wedding gift to her.  Much like these chairs were a housewarming gift to me from my parents.  Four chairs, $16 bucks, and dragging them around a thrift store, up the street, to the Ford Focus later....

...we're going to have to chain them up in our backyard.  Our neighborhood has not gotten any safer.  Two shootings and a cop stabbing later, this is a regular day in our 'hood.

At least Nelly is still alive.  And as cute as ever.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

While at my brother's graduation, I got a little distracted.  Obviously...those ceremonies are long.  So I did something I haven't done in a long time...cloud watched!

While I didn't take a picture of the elephant cloud, I did take a picture of the balloons they released.

I also took a picture of the chipmunk that was mounted on the football field's goal post.  Seriously? WTF?

Later that week when we stopped to see my 90 year old grandma, we were greeted by the ugliest cat ever carrying around a chipmunk/squirrel thing like above.

My Grandma may be a little unsteady on her feet and suffer from dementia, but she has this uncanny knack for plants.  This uncanny knack brings an almost scary talent where she can simply look down, bend over, and pick up a four leaf clover.  No lie.

She couldn't see the graduation pictures on my 13 in MacBook, but she totally just spotted the 4 leaf clover.  

I did a lot of traveling during vacation.  My friend Dave drives a mini-van.  I'd like to make fun of it, but it's awesome.  However, it has the biggest hole in the rear wheel well I've ever noticed.

At my friend's graduation party, I was a tad bit nervous because I was getting drunk and her parents were present.  However, after her mother unveiled the extremely beautiful graduation cake and then proceeded to swipe a corner of it on a chair, so I stopped being nervous.

During the party Pogo and I went to go pick up some supplies.  We encountered two interesting things on the way.

Soymilk juice box like thing? Yes, please.

Who wouldn't go to a convenience store that had a sign that said "you are beautiful" and took Visa and Mastercard?  

Later in my vacation week, Liz and I went to Rittenhouse park.  We got coffee (I loved the napkins) and stared up at the sky.

I've been told I have a doppleganger in the city; someone people mistake as me and then later are like "WHY DID YOU IGNORE ME ON THE STREET" while I explain I was at work all day.  Even my best friends do this.

I've also seen my bicycle doppleganger and have been very happy that my bike is cooler (yes, I'm vain like that).  I've always wanted to stop and take a picture and I finally got the chance at the train station when I parked my bike super close to Clementine's doppleganger.  

(It's the orange one.  Clementine.  Get it?)

After vacation it is back to the grind of work.  Luckily, when my manager inevitably makes me cry I can go into the bathroom's second stall and look at some great graffiti.

Oh, the truth that lines the bathroom walls.

(Thanks Loretta).

Graphic Novella Time

Because I could not possibly relate to you in words what I am feeling right now...PICTURES!

I took a week off of work because I was too burnt out to continue without punching a lot of customers in the face, screaming "EFF YOU, I'M HUMAN TOO, AND I QUIT" and walking out.  After ordering a bunch of unwanted food for every single table in the restaurant.

Enuff said.

So I drowned my sorrows in shopping.  In the process I watched my lovely roommie Liz wrestle with a size 2 mannequin.

And then hosted a weekend of debauchery with my good friend David.  We had shots.  Lots and lots of shots. 

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY POGSTER!)

The next day, I got a call about an old car who had a flat.  Ah, Ford Probes.  What a lovely heap of junk.  It was my first car and I loved it dearly.  Got in lots of accidents.  However, my car looked much better than this one...probably because I got rid of it 4 years ago.

We stripped the nuts.  Just jack it up!  SO MANY EUPHEMISMS, SO LITTLE TIME.

So we made it a drinking game.  Another reason why I love West Phill-ay.

Later in the week, I soberly travelled home to witness my brother's graduation.  We were at the dinner table celebrating our family's 3 birthdays, 2 graduations, and Fathers' Day all at once.  Lots of opening of gifts.  My mother yelled at my little brother about leaving the price stickers on my older bro's present.  Then proceeded to hand out these gifts to her three children.

Note the present price sticker.  She frantically started ripping the gifts out of our hands to peel the stickers off, only for my smartass lil brother to point out the price was in Australian dollars, not USD.  (The reason the picture was so blurry was because I was fighting my 62 year-old mother off of me, after she knew the sticker was not in USD.  That's how opposed she is to price tags on gifts.)

Needless to say, it was one of those bust-a-gut times when you're not supposed to laugh, but you just have too.

Being in Central PA is kind of relaxing.  I forgot how much I missed having a car and blasting music.  And how much I love buying fresh food from the Amish.

Oh, and how much I love the cheap drugs stuff.

I hope you looked carefully at that picture.
If you didn't laugh, you didn't look carefully enough.

My time in Central PA comes to a premature end as we are all traveling back to Philly for my graduation Saturday.  So, until then, here is the token photograph of Nelly.  Playing/eating a piece of paper.  Not just once, she was going at it ALL WEEK LONG (twss?)!

I think it's safe to say she will never graduate from school.  But here is photographic evidence that the cat can eat my homework.

FIN.

News in a Nutshell

(I want to preface this post with saying that this is a satire.  Because I say some very opinionated things in here that could be taken as hate towards Philadelphia or the government.  But really, I get all warm and fuzzy inside every time I think about both subjects.  Damn, I just can't stop being satanical satirical.)

At Loretta's last night, we watched Law & Order SVU which was immediately followed by an ad for Law & Order LA.  Seriously L&O.  Seriously?  Why don't you just name yourselves PDA (Police Department/District Attorney), team yourselves up with CSI and whore yourselves out start investigating in every city.  I may be biased and angry based on the fact you are getting rid of Stabler.  Stabler.  The person everyone fantasizes about.  How are you going to replace him?!?!  (Who else would be immediately attractive after getting raped?!?!)

After SVU was over, the news came on.  They enticed us with several interesting pieces which I immediately (and cynically) told Loretta would be on at 11:55, instead of 11.  Since they went straight to the stuff I wanted to hear, I'll regurgitate it here.  In a much more interesting way.  Also without a fake smile on my face.  Seriously.  Frowning.  Right now.

First up was about our lovely city being in movies.  For instance, Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro are filming The Dark Fields here now.  And guess what?!  My friend is in the movie!!!  He got to meet Bradley Cooper and do a whole scene with him!  Super duper exciting!!!  I wish I was an actress sometimes.  But I know I would just look at Bradley Cooper with please-do-me eyes and never get a word in edgewise.

My friend was not on the news.  So moving on.  Pennsylvania apparently provided about $74 million in tax breaks to the film industry if they film the majority of any production in PA in 2009 (and every year prior).  This helps with job security and getting Pennsylvania on the big screen.  This year however, the budget has already been allocated to projects currently (or soon to begin) filming.  Therefore, filming crews blocking roads and sidewalks and bike lanes will be significantly reduced...until PA gets their priorities straight and stops giving money to the public school systems.  (Come on, we already shut down the libraries, let's just get rid of kindergardeners.  Who needs them it?)

This filming loss is obviously tragic for Philly since things like "Rocky" and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" keep this city running day-to-day.  Who will we look up to now?  And what will the public do if there aren't random green men running around the city?!

How about Sir Richard.  That's right.  Next item in the news was about Sir Richard's Tavern.  Conveniently located on 44th and Lancaster Ave.  Apparently an ex-convict owns it and it is number 4 on Philly's Finest's "most dangerous/most police calls and visits for a bar" list.  I'll tell you what.  Why don't you come over, and we'll hop on the 10 Trolley.  $2 and about 30 seconds later, we'll be there!  Afterwards, we can make all the bad decisions we want to because on the way back, the 10 Trolley will drop us off right in front of an abortion clinic.  Don't worry they're real cheap.  It costs about $5, as long as they don't have to wash their hands and can keep the fetus in a jar for kicks and giggles.  It's only slightly illegal.

It's about as illegal as Sir Richard's Tavern.  I mean, they only run a small amount of drugs and only a little more guns/ammo out of there every week.  I'm sure they'll hook us up with a few free shots.  Alcoholic.  Maybe.

That's the furthest Loretta and I got in the news department.  I bid her adieu after beating her pants of at Wii Golf and rode off into the darkness while contemplating how cold the beer at Sir Richard's would be.

What I should have been contemplating was the new poverty estimate.  For a family of four, $60,000 a year to scrap by.  In Philly that is.  In Ethiopia they'd probably be rich.  Just sayin'.

Needs a Notebook

This one needs....a new liver. AND a notebook. AND a better work schedule with more money and less work. Preferably.

I feel like the only thing I can do about the above list though is buy a damn notebook already. Cuz a liver costs a little bit too much. And the only way to do the last thing is find a sugar daddy. And I tried that already. It was fun, but....well, that's another story for another day.

About the notebook. I have a lot of ideas for blog posts. And for potential businesses. But I fail to write them down. Or if I do, it's on the back of a receipt from Wawa that gets thrown away with the bag, or covered in cat poo when I clean out Nelly's litter.

I love her and I love business ideas and I love blogging. But I'm not digging through ammonia and cat poo to pull out a receipt that may or may not have a million dollar idea on it. Or an entertaining one. I feel like it crosses a hypothetical line that I feel sometimes needs to be thrown down in my life so I can toe at it.

Anyway. I need a notebook. One that fits in a messenger bag and has a spot for a pen that I can't lose.

If I had a notebook I might be blogging about a ton of things. Such as:

1. Having a notebook.

2. Central PA and my awesome adventures there.

3. Cultural differences among races in urban areas. The melting pot paradox if you will.

4. How I love my spiffy, hipster-looking notebook.

5. Funny or ironic things. Like Hiney Hiders.

6. How I have a perfect entrepreneurial personality. (We're talking about it in class...characteristics: hates failure, obsessive, works over 60 hours a week, competitive, etc).

7. About how I didn't have a pen, but I had my notebook, which means I had a pen.

8. The other 37 ideas I had for interesting blog posts this week while I didn't have internet.

9. How I need a job. And ideas for getting one.

10. Schmandrew Schmangle mangles management. Or bathroom graffiti. Which would lead me on an interesting/slightly eccentric discussion about murals in Philly.

11. How jealous I am of my best friend's notebook. Actually all of my male best friends' have notebooks that make me green with envy.

12. My new work crush. Who is adorable.

In lieu of writing about any of those 11 things, I'm going to go back to "paying attention" in class. This term will surely kick my butt. Yay graduating senior!!

String Theory

I have long prescribed to the theory that life is a string of decisions. Surely, your life will go one way or another, be mostly bad or mostly good, but a lot of it depends on decisions. Decisions you make, your parents make, your grandparents make, you neighbor, government, phone company, friends, and random stranger make.

Lately I have been making bad decisions.

However, I did finish the term with a 3.72 GPA. The only class I got a B in was Economic Development. I got a B because I made a decision. I decided not to study - ever. Besides the 10 billion hour research paper that I wanted to stab my eyes out over, it worked out well for me.

But it was still a "bad" decision.

It was a bad decision that worked out well. Now, you tell me why I've been so confused about life lately? Looking at my life as an outsider things are gooooood. But I will be the first to tell you - my life right now is in shambles and I'm having a quarter-life crisis and day-by-day all I want to do is get up and disappear, go live in Greece or somewhere warm and sunny and be a day laborer.

So bad decisions that return good results may be bad decisions still. I mean, what makes a decision bad? The reason for making it or the outcome?

For instance: I'm in Central PA currently and this morning I had the newspaper with my Kashi cereal. The front page headlines are as follows: Buy Cooking Tickets for Some Class, Biden Swears on National Television, Three of My Classmates from Public School went to Jail, oh and yea, They Passed the Healthcare Bill.

Some of those are funny for obvious reasons (come on, who thought local cooking classes were more important than the Health bill which was passed awhile ago?) but three of my former classmates got arrested.

Mostly for burglary, assault, and drugs. Not the smartest people, not the smartest decisions.

I also found out two of my former co-workers (who were my age, one has a kid) got arrested and landed in jail - for drugs.

So, maybe the most important decision of my life was leaving this small town and getting out into the big city. And the next most important decision of my life may be moving out of Pennsylvania into the great unknown (read: West Coast/Europe/South America).

Or maybe the next big decision will be picking a career that won't suck. Who knows.

So what do you think? What makes a decision bad - the reason for making it or the outcome?

There's a light

At the end of this dark, dark tunnel. Finals are approaching. Or should I say final. Yea, that's right, I only have one!!

Unfortunately, I have about 10 hours of research to do. Tonight. Right now actually...

Sorry I've been slacking on the blog. Work has been killing me but I've been making lots of money!! It doesn't quite make up for the fact that I'm so tired I want to crawl into the fetal position in the bottom of a closet and stay there for a week, butttttttt at least I'm not broke. Yes - if I owe you money I'll pay you on Friday!

The real reason I've been slacking is the fact that my life is a mess right now. While I don't mind airing dirty laundry once in awhile, I'd at least like to gather it up first and figure out what still fits and what doesn't. In other words, I have a lot to blog about, but most is too personal, sappy, dirty, or just plain depressing. For me at least. You'd probably get a kick out of it!

Ahhh, I remember what I wanted to say! Winter has broken here in Philly!! It may be cold a few more days, but we had BEAUTIFUL weather the past few days and spring has definitely knocked on winter's door. As always, spring will win out in the end. And it brings me a small ray of hope. For something.

I think I'll buy skates.

But first, I need to do mounds of research for economics. If you need me, I'll be stabbing myself while sobbing uncontrollably over my laptop.

Random Thoughts

1. I'm really superduper hungry.

2. I'm superduper bored. In class. What IS he talking about? I have no idea but this International Business homework will be done soon.

3. Should bring laptop to class more often. Good distraction tool. And it looks like I'm taking notes.

4. I like snow. Especially when it doesn't stick to the ground. I mean, come on, it's better than rain.

5. My second day off this week, working for the next 4 days in a row is gonna suck. But I'll have money to fuel my alcoholism.

6. It's sad that my favorite blogger got fired from her job because she blogged about it constantly. But, her job sucked and I'm happy for her. I even trekked to Washington DC to meet her. Secretly glad I got on the wrong bus and didn't make it because I think it would've been weird to be like "HEY, I just came from Philly to meet you. Now I'm gonna be awkward and hang out in a corner with my half-price beer and my new 2b1b sticker which I will cherish forever."

7. I love my darker hair. Next rainy day, I'm totally doing it again.

8. I hate when corporate comes to our local restaurant. I could've left at 2:00 a.m. instead of 2:45 a.m. this morning, except the effin dude from corporate would not stop drinking and got drunk and would've yelled if we did last call early, even though there were NO CUSTOMERS left. What an asshat. He also yelled at me for pulling the straw wrappers off the straws because "your hands are dirty."

9. Do you know how many things are dirty in that restaurant. My hands will touch multiple "clean" pieces of silverware, we literally just wash glasses with hot water, there are fucking mice EVERYWHERE, someone found a bucket of mold chillin' out in a refrigerator, and my hands will touch every effin, gd tortilla chip that people eat. And when he yelled about me about the straws I thought of all of this. And instead of making an argument and inevitably making life harder for everyone, I said "blokay" and continued pulling off all of the straw wrappers. Fire me. Do it. I dare you.

10. I still have no idea what the professor is talking about.

11. I may get a free weeklong trip to Chile in 3 weeks. Go me.

12. This homework needs to get done. I wonder if I could pay someone.

13. THAT guy is in Atlantic City for a few days, and after another weekend (emotional) roller-coaster ride I'm over it. Obviously I still care and do not mind making the occasional(ly frequent) hotel stay-over but I'm over wanting a relationship. Thank goodness. It's just not me, especially when there's no future involved.

14. The other day he waited to meet me after class and got a $26 parking ticket. Oh, sweet irony.

15. I promise a better, more coherent and paragraph full post later, when I don't feel like a braindead, overworked, hungry, hungry hippo.

16. 30 minutes left to not pay attention and do my homework. Good luck.

So About That Tip

It never ceases to amaze me. The people that go out to eat and fail to leave a tip over 10%. A lot of servers in Philly bitch about tips less than 20% because we are spoiled. Philly is the highest tipping city in America. 20% is a norm. However, the clientel that my restaurant brings in are the scum of this earth...so our average tip is about 15% - which means we either get screwed or we get 40%.

Let me explain...

Many people who have never worked in a restaurant just don't know how it works. Servers get paid $2.85 an hour, or something similar (at most restaurants - some pay a living wage which is more around $7/hr, but those are few and far between). Servers usually get tipped on the sale amount, including specials, and tip out on the gross amount which doesn't include the special price.

Again, let me explain...

There's a host that seats the tables, the busser who busses the tables, and the bartender that gives the people their drinks. All servers have to tip out these people on the gross amount, not the sale amount. That means that if someone leaves a 10% tip on a happy hour or special price, the server just paid to serve that table. Yea, they just lost money. Don't believe me? That's fine. It's still true.

Moving on.

There are certain stereotypes about tipping. Indian's will tip 10% or less. Asians (unless they are mob-type ballers) will tip 10% or less. Ghetto people will tip 10% or less. College students will tip 15% on the sale price. The people that say "you are the BEST server we've ever had, thank you so much" will tip less than 15%. All of these people we pay for time and time again so they can have their water with no ice, hot tea, and Corona with grenadine. It's not fair. These people are annoying, they are mean, and we PAY to serve them. WTF.

Of course there are exceptions, but as soon as you walk up to a table, you know. And later, when you pick up the checkbook, you just cringe at the thought of looking at the tip, because you lose your soul over and over again.

Tonight was just one of those nights.

I pulled a 14 hour shift. Many of my tables tipped less than 10%. One left and was like "OH MAN, GO GET YOUR TIP!" They left me 8%. And sadly, I knew they were going too. Another table paid and left 9%. They later asked me to call a cab. I asked them if they could hail one and the lady goes "they don't stop for us" (it was really sad - they were black). So I called the cab company I use, caught them a cab, and went outside to meet it and hold it for them. The lady gave me another $5 which brought their tip up to 18%. Thank goodness, because that was going above and beyond the call of a server.

All in all, I did pretty well considering how little work I did and how mean I was to most of my tables, but it was just one of those nights.

After work I ran to the neighboring bar to order the entire staff beers 5 minutes before last call. With 7 beer and 3 shots in front of me, I was faced with a $24.50 bill (yea, restaurant worker discount!!! They charged us for 3 beers and one shot) which we paid $55 for. I then caught a cab to ride the 6 blocks home since there have been many muggings in the area recently and I had more than a $100 cash on me. I gave the guy $10 for a $4 cab ride with the parting words...

"Next time you're at a restaurant, tip well."

With many thanks and a "be safe now, ya hear?" he drove away.

Remember - tip well. Those people are humans too - they have bad days, they have to pay bills too.

It's just good karma!!

Now, go out, have a drink, it's only Monday, but you may need it!

Update: Life

So, it's been a week, and a Valentine's Day, since I posted about THAT GUY. Ughhhh. This is why I hate posting about my personal life - everyone loves it, but everyone wants an update.

So here is how I spent V-day.

I made $123 at the restaurant being weeded (that means running around like a chicken with my head cut off) for 6 hours. Could've been worse, could've been better.

After that, I saw my best friend Pogo after his week-long cruise, and hung out with Liz for the remainder of V-day. Couldn't asked for a better one if I do say so myself. A little bit (or a lot) of rum later, I'm down for a blog update.

But I may be only able to say: I only like you when you give me cookies...

THAT GUY said no, but actions prove otherwise. I've had a wonderful happy six days otherwise, and I'm cool with continuing the non-relationship, as it were. Relationships freak me out anyways, and if I'm happy, then so be it!! Everyone should be happy.

Since then, I've been contemplating a hobby. I was going to start drawing people, but instead, me and a friend are gonna start a business. Too early to jinx it, but I'll let you in on details if it comes to fruition. First step in becoming a millionaire!!

Happy V-day. May everyone find love in friends, if not in lovers.

Different Sort of Culture

As promised, stuff went down last night at the restaurant. My fellow busser got punched, an employee fell down the stairs, someone knocked the host stand over onto the stick-thin-pin of a hostess, and a general shit show ensued.

But, the most mind-blowing thing happened at the very beginning of my shift. Usually the stereotype of a Mexican restaurant is that there are immigrant Mexican workers somewhere, if not in the front of house staff, then hidden in the back as dishwashers and cooks. I don't buy it, Mexican people cooking Mexican food....

Anyway, this is not the case at Mad Mex. The front of house is almost completely Caucasian, there is one Mexican dishwasher, one dishwasher from another country (he hasn't learned enough English yet for us to get to know him, but he's really nice!), and the rest of the BOH (back of house for those that don't work in the service industry) staff are split 50-50 between ghetto and no-so-ghetto. Don't get me wrong, they're all really nice, but ghetto still.

I was grabbing ice and I hear the dishwasher Charles, and a line cook Jay talking. Charles has a crush on me, but he's at least 15 years older than me (haha, I know, hasn't stopped me before) and has fathered at least 3 kids with another on the way.

Anyway, Charles goes "oh man, I use a condom 'til I know the girl really well, like 3 or 4 months." Just let it sink in. 3 or 4 months. Know her. Really well. Enough to allow her to bug you for child support for the next 19 years. Or to give you the HIV. Or clamidia.

[Sidenote: Downside to using Google as a spell check - it now looks like I searched for clamidia]

Jay turned to me and was like "yo gurl, what about you?" I looked at him with a look of utter amazement and was like "NEVER." He goes "WHAT?!?!, NEVER?!?!?! You never use a condom?" "NOOOO, I ALWAYS DOOOO and ALWAYS WILL. NEVER WITHOUT ONE. I don't want no kids, and I don't want no diseases!!!"

I immediately left the kitchen, mortified and reeling in socioeconomic thoughts.

Can't wait to work again in 3 1/2 hours!

Back to Real Life

The past two days involved a lot of snow and a lot of unproductivity - thank goodness. I totally needed the break.

But now, back to real life. Too much to do today, and too little time. I have to wear my work clothes all day because my life is packed from 11:30-4, work is at 4 until 3. I'm picking up a marathon work schedule and my life is jam packed until Tuesday, when I take those two midterms I missed this past Thursday.

Luckily, I have this sitting in front of my house to remind me how great those snow days were.

Also, it is supposed to snow again on Monday.

I promise that something will happen tonight that I can blog about this weekend. I mean, it's Valentine's Day weekend and my shitty little restaurant is having a great special. Who takes their date to a Mexican joint with $6 burritos for a 3 course Valentine's Day meal? Exactly. This should be great....

I Broke the Seal

So, today is a snow day. Or maybe it is a precursor to a snow day. Regardless, I did my best to make sure that I visited the liquor store. To the excitement of my roomies.

AND SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. The line was hella long.

I already broke the seal. Moved on from a bottle of wine with Liz, to a handle of vodka that hopefully will last til tomorrow.

Snow days = hot chocolate, liquor, sleep, movies, trashy TV, no work, schoolwork, lots of food, lots of chocolate, a lot of venting, and some catching up on household chores. And of course, sledding.

Can't wait.

Until then, here are some photos from the already snowed-in Philadelphia landscape.