Failure

I read an article that really stuck with me this week.  It was about failure and how hard we are on ourselves sometimes.  Whoever wrote it made a brilliant comparison between what we tell ourselves when we fail, and how we react to others' failures.  For instance, when a baby tries to talk, our normal reaction is "oh my goodness, you are so cute babbling along!" instead of "stupid baby, I can't believe you can't freakin' talk yet!"

For a long time, I've been struggling with weight.  In the past three weeks, I've lost 7 lbs. Then, I had a really great friend spend the weekend and I ate and drank whatever and proceeded to feel like a total fat failure.  In fact, I've viewed the past 7 years of dealing with weight has mostly a failure.  I did run a 1/2 marathon and I learned how to fight, but past that I've had a few good months but that's it.

Last night, with the article still tickling my neurons, I met up with some friends who haven't seen me in a long time.  I got the "you look great!" comment and immediately dismissed it.  C'mon people, can you not see I've been failing for 7 years!  Then I took a step back and decided to be a little nicer to myself and here is what I saw.

I started college as a size 22, so out of shape it was hard to walk up a hill, forget even walking a mile.  Since then, I've consistently gone down, albeit little by little.  I did run a half marathon, I've been in super good shape, and now I can run a mile and walk everywhere.  I am a size 16 now, I've taking responsibility for my eating habits and am making a very conscious effort to track calories, portion sizes and balance.  On Monday, I start at a gym again.

So taking that all into account, I guess I haven't really been failing.  Sure, my journey is not a fast one, no where near the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" and maybe no where near other people's.  But I'm not failing.

In the next four months, I'm going to focus on my mile time, my assisted pull-up weight and overall lb loss.  I made a calendar and am going to track those things weekly/bi-weekly.  My long term goals are a marathon, 40 lbs down and a pull-up by the end of November 2014.  I'll post updates now and then just to keep myself accountable and to remind myself that I'm not failing.

Because no one likes to fail, it's just a necessary part of life.  Without it, there can be no success.

I lost a gallon of whole milk

At the end of January - here are the results.  I officially weighed myself 4 weeks ago and since then, I have lost nine lbs.  All the weight I'm carrying around is now approximately a gallon of milk lighter.

This journey is not complete, but it just got a whole hell of a lot harder.  I'm starting a second job which means more working hours a week.  This means less time to work out and less motivation to plan good meals to eat.  Also - my plateau is going to start soon.  I have to be motivated to work through it.

Here are some simple rules I followed this month to lose instead of gain:

1. Limit processed foods.  Especially avoiding the "white" foods - white sugar, white flour, white rice, regular pasta, white bread, etc.  I didn't do perfectly, but I cut out a lot of the extra stuff I used to eat.  It helped me to remember that as soon as I ate this stuff, it would metabolize as sugar and be put directly into my midriff as fat.
2. Eat more veggies - and try new ones.  This month I introduces beets and rutabaga into my diet.  I also upped my intake of kale, carrots and sweet potatoes.  And I tried spaghetti squash!  Eating more veggies really does fill you up.
3. Avoid sugar 90% of the time.  Including alcohol.  This month I didn't drink at all, and I'm sure that contributed greatly to my weight loss.  Not only is alcohol empty calories with lots of sugar, it kills your metabolism.
4. Protein, protein, protein.  It's important to eat protein at each meal, especially in the morning.  It fills you up!  I started incorporating protein shakes into my diet after workouts when I knew I'd be hungry but wouldn't eat for awhile.  Or when I did a lot of lifting and needed protein within 30 minutes after my workout.  They are really filling and seriously cut down on cravings to eat poorly.  Also - it's chocolate!  It tastes delicious.  Muscle Milk Light - Chocolate is my favorite.
5. Work-out 5-6 days a week and on the rest day, move!

My workouts for the week look like this:

Monday - boot camp class (courtesy of my work - but I'm sure your gym has a bootcamp class to try!)

Tuesday - 45 minutes of cardio, lifting arms, thigh workout, mild core workout

Wednesday - boxing class

Thursday - boot camp class

Friday - rest (although I walk about 2 miles, to and from work)

Saturday - sparring, then boxing 

Sunday - rest (but I go to ju jitsu class for an hour)

For me, one of the most important things about losing weight is not losing motivation.  To get motivated, I follow @muffintopless and some of her friends on instagram and tublr.  Seeing positive reinforcement and getting tips everyday really helps me keep my goals in the front of my mind.

For February, the only "rule" I want to add for myself is to get my own protein and start making my own shakes.  I'm also going to focus heavily on planning meals as my schedule gets busier so I don't fall into stress eating brownies and french fries.

If I can do it, you can do it!!!  Here's to a loss of 15 lbs in February!

Bad (eating) decisions

As all of you humans know, pizza is really good.  Like, really delicious.  The gooey cheese oozing it's delicious cheese juice, on top of wonderful red tomato sauce that is seasoned perfectly.  The bottom is a crust that was perfectly baked in a brick oven, that holds the tomato sauce and cheese just enough that you can fold that sucker in half and shove it in your mouth.

I ate 6 slices yesterday.

And half of a red velvet cupcake.

Last week, I worked really hard and lost 3 lbs.  And then ate enough calories to gain 2 lbs back in one day.

In the past, I've done this and then just quit my diet plan and working out routine.  Maybe not right away, but little by little, I'll cheat more and more, until that scale is back up and working out is the last thing I want to do.

Since doing the same thing over and over will gain the same results, and I'm looking for different results, I changed up my attitude this time.  Instead of beating myself up, I'm letting it go.  I'm trying to look at the silver lining, instead of eating 1/2 of a pizza for lunch and 1/2 of a pizza for dinner, I only ate 3 slice each meal.  Not a lot, but better than usual.

Today, I made myself go out in 20 degree weather and spent a luxurious 2 hours at the gym.  I've eaten well so far, and dinner is going to be healthy.  My meals and workout schedule is planned for the week, and I'm sticking to it.

Enjoy my motivational pictures from Muffintopless who I highly recommend you follow on tumblr or on Instagram (@muffintopless).

It's the little things

In my opinion, it's the little things that you have to recognize, admire, and do to keep going in this life where so much around us goes terribly.  

My resolutions for January - no alcohol and lots of gym visits - has been going very well.  Except for the whole early morning gym thing.  I only went once.  Evenings work much better; I can skip happy hour and go to the gym instead.  

With everything going on in life, it's so easy to get discouraged and make excuses to not do whatever your resolution is.  Whether it be reading more, working out, volunteering, or just being more positive.  We've got to start being nicer to ourselves, stop beating ourselves up.  Take a breath and notice the little things, give ourselves credit where credit is due.

Today at boxing, I noticed one of those little things.  I can do burpees so much better than before!  Burpees are this evil, tortured exercise - you start standing up, you put your hands on the floor, throw your feet out so you are in push up position, then jump your feet back to your hands, and jump up into a standing position.

When I first started working out, I couldn't do two of these in a row without dying.  Today, the 3 minutes (not consecutively) of burpees, didn't exhaust me nearly as much as they used to.  In fact, they were almost easy!  Not too easy, but not like swimming through cement.  See - it's the small things.

My weight doesn't go down that much week to week, but it's these little things I notice, like burpees becoming easier, push-ups getting stronger, runs getting faster, that keep me going to the gym.  It's okay to take pride in the small things, no matter how silly they seem! 

And that goes for everything - not just fitness goals.

Thanksgiving and Weight Issues

I had a great trip home.  I took time to be thankful for my family, my job, and my life.  I have a wonderful boyfriend who really makes my life better everyday and great friends!  Nothing is perfect, it is what it is.  And all-in-all, life's good.  I'm not homeless, unemployed or utterly alone.  Winning!

The only thing that was wrong with going home:  not enough vegetables!!!

I, as many people in America, struggle with those extra pounds.  Lately, I've been making efforts to work out more regularly.  With two gym memberships, I am exercising at least 5 hours a week, usually 7-10.  However, I constantly overeat.  Food is just SO GOOD GUYS.

In an effort to be better this week - me and the bf just made a grocery list and I'm going to cook breakfast for all week today.  My menu this week:

Breakfast:  oatmeal casserole, greek yogurt and a banana
Lunch:  turkey sandwich, vegetable soup, carrots, and an apple
Dinner:  vegetable (kale, broccoli, cauliflower or salad) and a pre-portioned frozen meal

We've decided to try pre-packaged meals for dinner for portion control to see if that works for a few weeks.  I'm not super excited about the idea, but I'm willing to see what happens.  After Christmas, I want to buy a juicer and start a modified Paleo diet.  I really want to see what it's like not to eat processed foods for awhile.


For now, I want to share this great oatmeal casserole recipe I got from my parents.  It's super delicious and great for cutting up into bars for all week.  It's awesome cold or warm!

Baked Oatmeal:

3 cups oatmeal
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 cup milk (or almond milk)
3-4 cups of applesauce (depending on how moist you like your oatmeal)
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
nuts and seasonal fruit, optional

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Mix all ingredients, put in a rectangular baking dish (11x7 ish).  Bake for 35 minutes.

Today, I'm going to make this with apples - I think next week I'm going to do bananas and strawberries!  I'm also going to get chia seeds at the grocery store today and add those for extra nutritional value.

What will you put in your baked oatmeal?