Trapped in a Box

Yes, I know.  Slacker.  Right here.  Haven't been blogging.  And I called someone out for not blogging during my fan-tabulous D.C. trip (which my host, Dave, should be guest blogging about soon).  There are a few reasons why, and I suppose I will try to explain my current frustration with people and the interwebs.

1.  I feel trapped.  I'm not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life, yet.  I'm in grad school (what comes next, I haven't decided!) and I have a long list of things I want to do.  For instance, take a tour of all of the major cities in the U.S., then abroad.  That takes money, as most of my endeavors do, which is frustrating and upsetting, seeings how I have none.

2.  I don't want a real person job.  So I've slacked on looking and slacked on interviews.  I feel bad about that, but somehow I'm hoping it'll work out.  Hence me working on a business plan.  Ya know, in all of that spare time I have lying around.

3.  People are really fucking inconsiderate, most of the time.  Obviously, this applies to little parts of life and to big ones.  Like...global warming.  Most people don't care right now, but their grandkids definitely will.  Also, the simple things.  Like....oh hey, I have my hands completely full of really heavy looking things and you just let the door slam on my face.  Thanks for taking the 0.5 seconds you saved by not helping me and applying them to solving world hunger.  I HOPE.

4.  I'm moving!  And packing!  And paying extra than I'm used to for rent!  And throwing/giving a lot of stuff away!

5.  Class + Work = Packed Schedule.

Anyway, tune in for more later.  But instead of updating 3 times or so a week, I'm going to cut down to about once a week.  There may be more enjoyment in it for you and me that way.

<3.

(Also, happy 21st birthday Loretta!!!)

PIctures Are Sometimes More Eloquent

Here's a shocker - I've been to a lot of bars lately.  Some marketing guru somewhere thought it would be a great idea to put advertisements in the bathroom.  I mean, what else are people gonna try to read while they are in there?  Not many people take comic books or regular books into a pub's restroom with them - that just downright says "I'm an alcoholic who can't leave the bar long enough to take a dump at home."

Luckily, I always take my phone.  One of the few reasons I would like a smartphone (specifically an iPhone) is so that I can do "check ins" on foursquare.

Because I want a free taco at a bar that charges 75 cents for a Miller High Life.
Classy. Lady. Right. Here.

This is in the bathroom at a local favorite bar of mine, Local 44.  I'm not sure why I took a picture of it or what it says.  But it was funny at the time.  Maybe just because it was in the bathroom.  Next time I go I will take a better picture.  It's a one room bathroom so it's not like I should've been rushing to get the picture in for fear that someone would see me and think I was strange.  [Like that doesn't happen all the time anyway].

Here are the two token pictures of my trip to AC.  Don't ask about the first one.  I must've been the same level of drunk for the last picture and this next one.  Same night.  No judgies.

Ya know how it goes.

Yea, we were there for the sunrise.  All of my friends said "ahh, how romantic."  I told them to shut the hell up, it was about as romantic as me trying not to toss my cookies at brunch.  It could've been.  I'm just a little dense.

The next picture is a throwback from June.  My friend saw it on Facebook and was like "will you take pictures at my wedding?  I love the filter on your camera."

Little did she know the recipe for that filter is a $25 Kodak digital camera and a bottle of carpet cleaner leaked in a purse and shaken around.

At least that could be my wedding gift to her.  Much like these chairs were a housewarming gift to me from my parents.  Four chairs, $16 bucks, and dragging them around a thrift store, up the street, to the Ford Focus later....

...we're going to have to chain them up in our backyard.  Our neighborhood has not gotten any safer.  Two shootings and a cop stabbing later, this is a regular day in our 'hood.

At least Nelly is still alive.  And as cute as ever.

Graphic Novella Time

Because I could not possibly relate to you in words what I am feeling right now...PICTURES!

I took a week off of work because I was too burnt out to continue without punching a lot of customers in the face, screaming "EFF YOU, I'M HUMAN TOO, AND I QUIT" and walking out.  After ordering a bunch of unwanted food for every single table in the restaurant.

Enuff said.

So I drowned my sorrows in shopping.  In the process I watched my lovely roommie Liz wrestle with a size 2 mannequin.

And then hosted a weekend of debauchery with my good friend David.  We had shots.  Lots and lots of shots. 

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY POGSTER!)

The next day, I got a call about an old car who had a flat.  Ah, Ford Probes.  What a lovely heap of junk.  It was my first car and I loved it dearly.  Got in lots of accidents.  However, my car looked much better than this one...probably because I got rid of it 4 years ago.

We stripped the nuts.  Just jack it up!  SO MANY EUPHEMISMS, SO LITTLE TIME.

So we made it a drinking game.  Another reason why I love West Phill-ay.

Later in the week, I soberly travelled home to witness my brother's graduation.  We were at the dinner table celebrating our family's 3 birthdays, 2 graduations, and Fathers' Day all at once.  Lots of opening of gifts.  My mother yelled at my little brother about leaving the price stickers on my older bro's present.  Then proceeded to hand out these gifts to her three children.

Note the present price sticker.  She frantically started ripping the gifts out of our hands to peel the stickers off, only for my smartass lil brother to point out the price was in Australian dollars, not USD.  (The reason the picture was so blurry was because I was fighting my 62 year-old mother off of me, after she knew the sticker was not in USD.  That's how opposed she is to price tags on gifts.)

Needless to say, it was one of those bust-a-gut times when you're not supposed to laugh, but you just have too.

Being in Central PA is kind of relaxing.  I forgot how much I missed having a car and blasting music.  And how much I love buying fresh food from the Amish.

Oh, and how much I love the cheap drugs stuff.

I hope you looked carefully at that picture.
If you didn't laugh, you didn't look carefully enough.

My time in Central PA comes to a premature end as we are all traveling back to Philly for my graduation Saturday.  So, until then, here is the token photograph of Nelly.  Playing/eating a piece of paper.  Not just once, she was going at it ALL WEEK LONG (twss?)!

I think it's safe to say she will never graduate from school.  But here is photographic evidence that the cat can eat my homework.

FIN.

News in a Nutshell

(I want to preface this post with saying that this is a satire.  Because I say some very opinionated things in here that could be taken as hate towards Philadelphia or the government.  But really, I get all warm and fuzzy inside every time I think about both subjects.  Damn, I just can't stop being satanical satirical.)

At Loretta's last night, we watched Law & Order SVU which was immediately followed by an ad for Law & Order LA.  Seriously L&O.  Seriously?  Why don't you just name yourselves PDA (Police Department/District Attorney), team yourselves up with CSI and whore yourselves out start investigating in every city.  I may be biased and angry based on the fact you are getting rid of Stabler.  Stabler.  The person everyone fantasizes about.  How are you going to replace him?!?!  (Who else would be immediately attractive after getting raped?!?!)

After SVU was over, the news came on.  They enticed us with several interesting pieces which I immediately (and cynically) told Loretta would be on at 11:55, instead of 11.  Since they went straight to the stuff I wanted to hear, I'll regurgitate it here.  In a much more interesting way.  Also without a fake smile on my face.  Seriously.  Frowning.  Right now.

First up was about our lovely city being in movies.  For instance, Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro are filming The Dark Fields here now.  And guess what?!  My friend is in the movie!!!  He got to meet Bradley Cooper and do a whole scene with him!  Super duper exciting!!!  I wish I was an actress sometimes.  But I know I would just look at Bradley Cooper with please-do-me eyes and never get a word in edgewise.

My friend was not on the news.  So moving on.  Pennsylvania apparently provided about $74 million in tax breaks to the film industry if they film the majority of any production in PA in 2009 (and every year prior).  This helps with job security and getting Pennsylvania on the big screen.  This year however, the budget has already been allocated to projects currently (or soon to begin) filming.  Therefore, filming crews blocking roads and sidewalks and bike lanes will be significantly reduced...until PA gets their priorities straight and stops giving money to the public school systems.  (Come on, we already shut down the libraries, let's just get rid of kindergardeners.  Who needs them it?)

This filming loss is obviously tragic for Philly since things like "Rocky" and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" keep this city running day-to-day.  Who will we look up to now?  And what will the public do if there aren't random green men running around the city?!

How about Sir Richard.  That's right.  Next item in the news was about Sir Richard's Tavern.  Conveniently located on 44th and Lancaster Ave.  Apparently an ex-convict owns it and it is number 4 on Philly's Finest's "most dangerous/most police calls and visits for a bar" list.  I'll tell you what.  Why don't you come over, and we'll hop on the 10 Trolley.  $2 and about 30 seconds later, we'll be there!  Afterwards, we can make all the bad decisions we want to because on the way back, the 10 Trolley will drop us off right in front of an abortion clinic.  Don't worry they're real cheap.  It costs about $5, as long as they don't have to wash their hands and can keep the fetus in a jar for kicks and giggles.  It's only slightly illegal.

It's about as illegal as Sir Richard's Tavern.  I mean, they only run a small amount of drugs and only a little more guns/ammo out of there every week.  I'm sure they'll hook us up with a few free shots.  Alcoholic.  Maybe.

That's the furthest Loretta and I got in the news department.  I bid her adieu after beating her pants of at Wii Golf and rode off into the darkness while contemplating how cold the beer at Sir Richard's would be.

What I should have been contemplating was the new poverty estimate.  For a family of four, $60,000 a year to scrap by.  In Philly that is.  In Ethiopia they'd probably be rich.  Just sayin'.

Picture Story (Graphic Novella?)

I always take a lot of pictures with my phone and mean to post pictures.  But I never do.  However, tonight I finally uploaded the 139 camera pictures I had.  So get ready for a very random and telling graphic novella of my life.

My biffle went to a tattoo convention and all she got me was this pretty bag!  And a great magazine to read!  Aren't the birds awesome.  Also, the bow can be removed depending on how girly I feel at the moment.  For instance, if I'm going out to pick up guys - bow on!  If I'm going to kick some ass, bow off!

Speaking of bags.  I did NOT get this at the thrift store last Saturday.  Mostly because I have no plants to water.  Also because there's no removable bow.  Fail.

Speaking of thrifting, a penny saved is a penny earned.  Have you seen the new pennies?  Come on government.  You couldn't come up with anything better than a superhero looking emblem.

Somehow that was better than some memorial to some president.  Okay, Abe Lincoln.  You know, the reason there's now someone who isn't white in office now (yay diversity!!!).  You, you government paid "designers,"  are as dumb as this mouse.  Who I stomped around and poked with a stick.  He didn't think I could do any harm to him.  In fact, he acted like a cat and just sniffed around and groomed himself.  Oh, to feel invincible.

No, there's no zoom on my camera phone.  Maybe there is.  But I don't know how to use it.  Heck, I can't even handle calling people sometimes.  However, I can handle creeping.  Like this girl, who I took a picture of at the bank.  She didn't notice when my phone made the "click, I just took a picture" sound on the highest volume.  But everyone behind me did.

I mean, she just looked ridiculous.  I HAD to document it.  Yes, I may or may not have a problem.  I admit nothing.  I also had to document my first pet, Tina, and her adorableness.  It's hard to bear the thought, but she will probably die soon.  I've had her since 5th grade.  How freakin' cute is she??

Oh man, my heart hurts just thinking about it.

And now for the stellar ending (and don't worry, this is the last of the graphic novella...for now...) I bought this lovely skirt today at Ann Taylor Loft (ATL) where my roomie works.  Isn't it cute?

FIN.

Mi Amigo

I've been thinking about growing up lately.

No really, I've been thinking about the past 4 years that I've spent in Philly and all of the people I've met, worked with, partied with, and formed connections with. Literally, the past 4 years has been a huge growth experience that many people from my town never got because they haven't left the county since they were in high school. If I ever leave, I know I'll lose touch with a lot of people, but there are some I know will always be around...

My friend Dave came up this weekend. He lives in D.C. and is by far the most ridiculous person I know. Not bad ridiculous. Ridiculous as in - the MOST RIDICULOUS THINGS HAPPEN TO HIM EVER . Dave is a pretty normal guy, he's super nice and we get along great. Definitely someone I plan on keeping around forever because he has one unique talent that I need to learn - he makes partying productive and random. Oh, and he's the only person that will never say no to a good time. (Oh, and a BILLION other reasons).

I want to publish the ridiculous stories he tells me that (are super hard to believe but I know) are true. Alas, he would probably go to jail on about 25 different counts of things ranging from murder to grand theft auto to cartel running. In fact, last night as we were in the middle of a group of friends drinking, I heard him say something about finding a card. I immediately knew that he was the person I read a news article about where some dude.........see I have to stop here. Because I love Dave. And I don't want the cops bustin' down my door and force feeding me truth serum until I turn in someone who is harmless.

Moving on, I just got a new MacBook. It was delivered a few hours before Dave randomly decided to drive to Philly because he was supposed to move but then his landlord randomly decided to let him live rent free until August. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THIS DUDE?!?!?!?! Luckily, Dave knows a lot about computers and hooked me up with stuff (what stuff, I have hardly a clue, but I pretty sure he's the reason I have any software). While he was doing this, we were partying like non-other. In fact, when my roommate got up to do the Broad Street Run (what a healthy asshat) he was amazed that we were both still up with Dave bent over both a PC and a Mac and me bent over a Cap't Morgan bottle......

What my roommate doesn't know is the one random (AND COMPLETELY LEGAL) thing that happened to us. So we were sitting on my stoop at 4:20 a.m. (okay, I may have lied about it being completely legal) and we're listening to the birds chirp, talking about Dave's antics and my blog and a publishing deal (we determined this will never happen due to the whole jail thing...maybe when the statue of limitations runs out on every crime ever committed...or when hell freezes over...or when pigs fly...). All of the sudden we hear a whizzzzz, PLOP! and see a bird that has just fallen out of a tree about 10 feet away from where we are sitting. I tell Dave we'll wait 10 minutes before we go over to take a picture just in case whatever killed this bird and made it fall out of the tree wants to eat it. We took a gazillion pictures.

Twenty minutes later the bird was gone. The sidewalk was clear of all corpses.

WTF.

The moral of me talking about Dave is that I had an entirely unproductive (but I have a laptop that works perfectly so semi-productive) weekend which included two trips to the liquor store, very little sleep, and Dave. If I was a crazy (oh, wait) I would be hating on myself for not getting stuff done. Luckily, I applied for a job today. Just one. But hello productivity!

Back to Real Life

The past two days involved a lot of snow and a lot of unproductivity - thank goodness. I totally needed the break.

But now, back to real life. Too much to do today, and too little time. I have to wear my work clothes all day because my life is packed from 11:30-4, work is at 4 until 3. I'm picking up a marathon work schedule and my life is jam packed until Tuesday, when I take those two midterms I missed this past Thursday.

Luckily, I have this sitting in front of my house to remind me how great those snow days were.

Also, it is supposed to snow again on Monday.

I promise that something will happen tonight that I can blog about this weekend. I mean, it's Valentine's Day weekend and my shitty little restaurant is having a great special. Who takes their date to a Mexican joint with $6 burritos for a 3 course Valentine's Day meal? Exactly. This should be great....

I Broke the Seal

So, today is a snow day. Or maybe it is a precursor to a snow day. Regardless, I did my best to make sure that I visited the liquor store. To the excitement of my roomies.

AND SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. The line was hella long.

I already broke the seal. Moved on from a bottle of wine with Liz, to a handle of vodka that hopefully will last til tomorrow.

Snow days = hot chocolate, liquor, sleep, movies, trashy TV, no work, schoolwork, lots of food, lots of chocolate, a lot of venting, and some catching up on household chores. And of course, sledding.

Can't wait.

Until then, here are some photos from the already snowed-in Philadelphia landscape.

Other People

Have you ever heard the phrase "they did THIS AWFUL THING..". Substitute anything after the word "they". Seriously. "They" fuck up EVERYTHING. Who is this elusive "they". Now, substitute "they" for people. Because that's who "they" are. People. Effin' people.

I've lived a very short life thus far, and as it goes on, these "they" people keep getting in the way. Everything from relationships to youtube videos to ruining good bars, "they" keep showing up and just messing up everything. I hate "they". They suck. Literally.

Unfortunately, "they" carry a lot of weight. Why follow your heart when "they" say it's wrong? I mean "they" are probably right - it's too much of a risk, no one else is doing it, you won't have fun, it's weird, "they" are cock blockers. The end.

So why do we put so much stock in what "they" say? Because "they" seems like the majority, even if it's only 5 people out of 100. Yea, the human race is dumb. I won't be the first or the last to say it.

Look at this image for a full minute.

Do you see anything weird about it? Does anything pop out?

"They" would say it's just the FedEx symbol.

But "they" didn't design the logo, and "they" don't see the hidden arrow that makes the FedEx logo fantastic. The arrow looks like FedEx is making progress, even though the human eye will skip over it multiple times. The subconscious knows and will tell the conscious.

Only not in so many words.

Have fun looking in the "hidden" meaning in everything for the next few days. Fuck "they". "They" can go dig their own graves and quietly go die.

A New Year, Yet Again

Well in the past few weeks, I've been to D.C. twice, NYC once (by accident), Central PA for more days than I care to remember, I've celebrated three holidays, been to 1.2 x 10^45 gillion parties/bars, studied for the GMATs, seen mummers for the first time, saw Srav and Mich twice (at least!), almost got assaulted by someone's ex-wife and a fur hag, took shots in front of cops, interviewed for a 'real person' job, acquired a lovely oscillating heater that is keeping me awful warm right now, and even gone to the gym (once).

A lot has happened. So what story shall I promulgate to ring in this new term full of procrastinating/distracting blog posts? Or should I write an anecdote full of wisdom and understanding?

I have no idea.

I’ve been saying that a lot lately.

Like when my friend messaged me a very interesting quote. I could not grasp it! It’s not like I’m unintelligent. I read things…sometimes… Heck, I’m studying for a graduate school entrance exam! I even noticed when The Nosh’s (36^th and Market) sign pointing to the entrance was spelled “enterence”.

Anyway, here is the quote.

“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.”
William Butler Yeats

He told me I would understand in half an hour. That was like 7 hours ago. I even Googled the meaning. I have no idea.

What did I say the other night during a brown-out to offend my lovely roommate? I have no idea.

Like when my friend says “whaddya mean we’re on the bus to NYC instead of D.C.?” Well, I have no idea!! I got on the bus the ticket guy said was to D.C. which had a sign that said it was going to D.C. but clearly, we’ve been driving north through New Jersey (fu NJ, yea, I said it), and there’s a bridge with the beautiful Manhattan skyline behind it. Damn Asians and their affordable, but thoroughly unorganized transportation system.

Or like, when I was trying to explain how I wanted to go see the mummers. They’re men that dress up in drag, do a little jig called the mummer strut, get really plastered, and are in a parade! I have no idea, I just want to go see them and drink in the streets in front of cops. That’s all!

You get the picture. When do I have class tomorrow, I have NO idea. But, will I be in class tomorrow? Yes. Will I be writing a blog post because I can already foresee my 4 minute attention span kicking in. I have no idea, but I’d guess yes.

Two People Can Change the World

Today, I rushed around going to the Bursars Office, the Financial Aid Office, class, lunch, class, finally got home, did a bunch of financial stuff, cried, laughed, talked to Tony, then went to my room to study for the GMATs.

Take a deep breath. You need it after that sentence.

So then I took a deep breath and got on my laptop and checked my email right before I was going to leave to go hang out with some wonderful friends. An old, dear friend g-chatted me! [Funny how gchat really effs with the spell checker...] This dear friend is part of a pair. Let's call them Matt & Kim (bt-dubs, check that band out, it's wonderful). But their both girls....so...Louise and Thelma. So talking to one always makes me miss the other, because they're kind of a pair. Like, gloves. If you put one on, you obviously want the other one too. Bad analogy. Anyhoo.

So Louise gchats me: In response to my I HATE ALL THINGS FINANCIAL AID RELATED status....

5:46 PM Louise: me too

me: me three

i hate them all

Louise: i hate money

5:47 PM we should revert to barter

me: i agree

5:49 PM Louise: hows life other than that

me: shitty

but, it'll get better soon i'm sure

5:50 PM Louise: just school shit?

wanna tlak about it?

5:51 PM me: not really

i'm actually on my way out

but thank yoU!

Louise: okok

me: i want an email from you

about your life

Louise: ill catch you another time

me: b/c i miss you a bunch

Louise: lol ok will do

me: or a phone date

Louise: I MISS YOUUUUU

me: youre gonna make me cry!

5:53 PM okay i love you

<3>

5:54 PM Louise: lol, i love you too. i guess ill catcha next time

Three reasons why this conversation reflects why I love this pair.

1.) Louise promptly agrees with my absurdly angry status and makes a witty comment about it that is neither pretentious nor stupid. It's just funny. And very supportive. And I totally agree with it right now. (As a business major, totally something I don't support.)

2.) She doesn't ask me about the status, rather asks how everything else is. Important for two reasons. One, she knows I've already been worked up about it forever and probably not something I wanna type out. And two, she probably can guess everything I say, and it's pointless, because it's just Drexel giving one more poor, broke, and overworked student the shaft up the ars, and HARD. Owww, the chafing, you can't imagine.

3.) I say I have to go, and she promptly understands and lets me go. After my 5 psychotic, NO NOT YET I STILL WANNA TALK TO YOU BUT CAN'T, PLEASE KNOW I STILL LOVE YOU last statements.

And this conversation has not just happened once. The same type of deal with both of them, all the time. Thelma and Louise are just some of the nicest, most genuine and reliable people I've ever met. But during this particular conversation, as I started to miss both of them a lot, I teared up. I realized how different my life is now without them right around the corner. It's not like Thelma and Louise visited the Bermuda Triangle However, it's one thing when you can run out of your house screaming because of a stupid little mouse and meet someone at 2 a.m. to let you sleep on their floor, and another when you just have to rely on gchat and occasional drunken Skypes or phone calls.

[Picturing the next time I'm going to eat pie]...Here's to you Thelma and Louise. Two people can change the world (or to be more anthropology-correct 438's world). ;)

Hi, my name is Andrea, and

I'm an alcoholic.

Scene: I wake up with no shirt on, my bed really messed up, my phone is getting wet on the windowsill from the rain and I'm sleeping on a clean pair of jeans and a clean pair of shorts that I neglected to put away yesterday. I further wake up and realize my trashcan is half way across the room from where it is supposed to be, but all articles of clothing that I wore last night are in fact in my room. And my contacts are put away (I vaguely remember doing that). So, my question is, how on earth did this happen? My answer: I have no effin idea. Hi, my name is Andrea, and I'm an alcoholic.

As I search deep, deep into my memory, I remember walking home from Scooters, meeting friends to walk my other friend home, and that's it. By the way, I should never travel to Scooters. It is a ghetto, shoot-em-up bar, that every time I have gone to, I've made bad friends and gone home worse for wear.

Searching a little deeper and remembering not being able to make it up the stairs outside, I find myself mortified. If I had stopped on the stoop, I quite possibly would not be writing this blog post right now. Instead, I gave it the old college try (pun intended) and made it in the front door. Without keys. Thank you, Matthew Wiley. After that, my memory fails.

All I know is the scene I woke up to, which was horrifying to say the least. Now I have 2 hours til I have to wake up, finish up my homework, and go to class. But I'm still mortified by the fact I remember nothing. So that will not allow me to sleep. At least I'm drinking OJ and water!

Brinks Marketing Blows

So, last night, I was chillin' and watching television with Liz. I was making fun of shows like "Intervention" and "One Man Rehab" - if that tells you anything about my state of mind. Amongst all the television shows, this commercial came on for Brinks Home Security System, now Broadshit Security. And Liz and I - true to our business major selfs - starting picking apart the horrible marketing, aka bullshit, that Broadview Security spewed in our faces.

For those of you who didn't watch the video (I hardly ever do on blogs because professors don't take kindly to you sticking in headphones in the middle of class), I will briefly describe. Good looking girl gets walked to the door after a date, she shuts the door, and DUH DUH DUN, her ex kicks in the door and the alarm system goes off. He bolts and she answers the phone with "OHMYEFFINGGOSH MY EX JUST KICKED DOWN THE DOOR" and the operator says "FEAR NOT FAIR MAIDEN, we hath just doth called the po-leece."

Okay, let's start with the biggest, most glaring fault of this commercial. One, the guy didn't go inside with her. Just kidding, she's probably not a whore.

First of all, look at that house. It's a 2 story house with at least 3 bedrooms. No single woman, under the age of 30 normally owns/lives in a house that big by herself, especially with an apparently psycho ex-boyfriend. It's intimidating to have that much space with no boy to fill it.

Second of all, it took her all of 15 seconds to close the door and put her stuff down. Maybe she reset the alarm, maybe. But she's still hanging around the door even though her date has long since driven away? I mean, it must have took him at least 1 minute to put on his seat belt, turn on the lights, back up a little, pull out of the parking space, etc. Did she watch him? Did she just hang around waiting for her ex to come kick in the door?

Third of all, the Ex kicks in the door, hears the alarm, stares at her, and decides to run away. If he went to all that trouble, would he not grab her and force her into the car? It's not like the company has a GPS system on her. Like, you already kicked the door down, now you are in trouble because she saw/knows you. So why don't you just grab her?

Also, she didn't throw the deadbolt down (or else he wouldn't have been able to kick down the door). And what woman who lives alone doesn't do that immediately upon walking in the door. And, how did the security system know the door got kicked in if it wasn't even deadbolted? Oh, and she runs up the stairs to answer the phone (odd) and leaves her back turned towards the stairs where her ex may or may not run up and kill her at any second. Anyway, the whole sequence of events just doesn't quite do it for me.

Interesting side note: My brother has Brinks and he has to deactivate the alarm within 30 seconds or so after they walk in any door with a key or else it goes off. On day, my father was looking for coffee and opened up the basement door thinking it was a closet, the alarm went off at like 5 a.m. - hate alarms.

I'm sure there is a lot more wrong with this commercial (maybe her shoes don't match her purse or something) but I think since the most basic premises have now been throughly thrashed by Liz and I - I think I can call bullshit on this advertisement AND Brookview Security.