A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

While at my brother's graduation, I got a little distracted.  Obviously...those ceremonies are long.  So I did something I haven't done in a long time...cloud watched!

While I didn't take a picture of the elephant cloud, I did take a picture of the balloons they released.

I also took a picture of the chipmunk that was mounted on the football field's goal post.  Seriously? WTF?

Later that week when we stopped to see my 90 year old grandma, we were greeted by the ugliest cat ever carrying around a chipmunk/squirrel thing like above.

My Grandma may be a little unsteady on her feet and suffer from dementia, but she has this uncanny knack for plants.  This uncanny knack brings an almost scary talent where she can simply look down, bend over, and pick up a four leaf clover.  No lie.

She couldn't see the graduation pictures on my 13 in MacBook, but she totally just spotted the 4 leaf clover.  

I did a lot of traveling during vacation.  My friend Dave drives a mini-van.  I'd like to make fun of it, but it's awesome.  However, it has the biggest hole in the rear wheel well I've ever noticed.

At my friend's graduation party, I was a tad bit nervous because I was getting drunk and her parents were present.  However, after her mother unveiled the extremely beautiful graduation cake and then proceeded to swipe a corner of it on a chair, so I stopped being nervous.

During the party Pogo and I went to go pick up some supplies.  We encountered two interesting things on the way.

Soymilk juice box like thing? Yes, please.

Who wouldn't go to a convenience store that had a sign that said "you are beautiful" and took Visa and Mastercard?  

Later in my vacation week, Liz and I went to Rittenhouse park.  We got coffee (I loved the napkins) and stared up at the sky.

I've been told I have a doppleganger in the city; someone people mistake as me and then later are like "WHY DID YOU IGNORE ME ON THE STREET" while I explain I was at work all day.  Even my best friends do this.

I've also seen my bicycle doppleganger and have been very happy that my bike is cooler (yes, I'm vain like that).  I've always wanted to stop and take a picture and I finally got the chance at the train station when I parked my bike super close to Clementine's doppleganger.  

(It's the orange one.  Clementine.  Get it?)

After vacation it is back to the grind of work.  Luckily, when my manager inevitably makes me cry I can go into the bathroom's second stall and look at some great graffiti.

Oh, the truth that lines the bathroom walls.

(Thanks Loretta).

Comics and Whatnot

I may be going insane.  Or I may be hungover.  Or I may be going through nicotine withdrawal.  Or I may just be burnt out.  Or all of the above.  (If this was a multiple choice question on the exam of my life, the correct answer would be the last option.)

So I'm just going to share some hilarious comics I've found over the past few days on the internets.  I was going to blog about how I hate bread, but the humor in me is as dry as a post-menopausal woman's...hair...GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.

But put it back in the gutter for this one:

Now substitute that orange looking thing with this bitch:

Isn't she adorable??

Next up, to compliment my roomie Liz's blog post about boys and our countless conversations about how Disney/Hollywood ruined our expectations for a perfect boy:

We were right.  It was all bullpoop.  Speaking of poop...
I told two friends yesterday that poop is super important.  Depending on what comes out you are either healthy or not.  Because Scrubs told me so.



For your reference, here is a chart of poo.

You're welcome.

These last two are self explanatory and I have no good segwey for them.  I just don't want the last thing you take away from this edition of Stooptime to be poop.  Just so there are no unconscious pairings going on.

I'm toying with the idea of deleting Facebook.  But I would need moral support.  And a peer support group.  And another networking outlet.

Steve Jobs?  Bill Gates?  What you got cooking in those little tech companies of yours?

Asshats.  (Thanks for making this blog possible.)

Enjoy this Wednesday.  It's super warm.  OH, and don't forget to hold your breath until 10 p.m.  Apparently the air is toxic right now.  Air Warning #1 AND #2 are in effect people!!

I will hold onto hope

Let's hope this is true.  I don't think it is.

For instance.  In Sex & The City 2, Carrie Bradshaw will be using a HP.  An promoting it.  Along with all the other characters.  After HOW MANY YEARS of using a Mac.  Cool.  Do the opposite thing, just switch from a Mac to a PC.  Shatter everyone's hopes and dreams and sense of right and wrong.  Go ahead.  Do it.  Damn Hollywood, you are so cruel.

Money grubbers.

Next Fred Flintstone will be selling cigarettes instead of vitamins and mac & cheese.  Oh wait.  That already happened.

I will hold onto hope and I won't let you choke, on the noose around your neck.

(Mumford&Sons)

Mi Amigo

I've been thinking about growing up lately.

No really, I've been thinking about the past 4 years that I've spent in Philly and all of the people I've met, worked with, partied with, and formed connections with. Literally, the past 4 years has been a huge growth experience that many people from my town never got because they haven't left the county since they were in high school. If I ever leave, I know I'll lose touch with a lot of people, but there are some I know will always be around...

My friend Dave came up this weekend. He lives in D.C. and is by far the most ridiculous person I know. Not bad ridiculous. Ridiculous as in - the MOST RIDICULOUS THINGS HAPPEN TO HIM EVER . Dave is a pretty normal guy, he's super nice and we get along great. Definitely someone I plan on keeping around forever because he has one unique talent that I need to learn - he makes partying productive and random. Oh, and he's the only person that will never say no to a good time. (Oh, and a BILLION other reasons).

I want to publish the ridiculous stories he tells me that (are super hard to believe but I know) are true. Alas, he would probably go to jail on about 25 different counts of things ranging from murder to grand theft auto to cartel running. In fact, last night as we were in the middle of a group of friends drinking, I heard him say something about finding a card. I immediately knew that he was the person I read a news article about where some dude.........see I have to stop here. Because I love Dave. And I don't want the cops bustin' down my door and force feeding me truth serum until I turn in someone who is harmless.

Moving on, I just got a new MacBook. It was delivered a few hours before Dave randomly decided to drive to Philly because he was supposed to move but then his landlord randomly decided to let him live rent free until August. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THIS DUDE?!?!?!?! Luckily, Dave knows a lot about computers and hooked me up with stuff (what stuff, I have hardly a clue, but I pretty sure he's the reason I have any software). While he was doing this, we were partying like non-other. In fact, when my roommate got up to do the Broad Street Run (what a healthy asshat) he was amazed that we were both still up with Dave bent over both a PC and a Mac and me bent over a Cap't Morgan bottle......

What my roommate doesn't know is the one random (AND COMPLETELY LEGAL) thing that happened to us. So we were sitting on my stoop at 4:20 a.m. (okay, I may have lied about it being completely legal) and we're listening to the birds chirp, talking about Dave's antics and my blog and a publishing deal (we determined this will never happen due to the whole jail thing...maybe when the statue of limitations runs out on every crime ever committed...or when hell freezes over...or when pigs fly...). All of the sudden we hear a whizzzzz, PLOP! and see a bird that has just fallen out of a tree about 10 feet away from where we are sitting. I tell Dave we'll wait 10 minutes before we go over to take a picture just in case whatever killed this bird and made it fall out of the tree wants to eat it. We took a gazillion pictures.

Twenty minutes later the bird was gone. The sidewalk was clear of all corpses.

WTF.

The moral of me talking about Dave is that I had an entirely unproductive (but I have a laptop that works perfectly so semi-productive) weekend which included two trips to the liquor store, very little sleep, and Dave. If I was a crazy (oh, wait) I would be hating on myself for not getting stuff done. Luckily, I applied for a job today. Just one. But hello productivity!