Are You Ready Yet?

This morning a kid from high school popped up in my newsfeed with a status update about a fetus.

Neil was always the kid in the back of the band room, getting in trouble for goofing off during rehearsal.  He was nerdy and smart, but silly.  His feet seemed too big and he would go from joking around to super serious in 2.3 seconds.  He was just a goofy kid.  I never thought that six years after graduating from high school, Neil would be updating the world about his unborn child that his wife is carrying.

A couple of nights ago, I had a conversation with my boo about buying a house.  He really wants to - with or without me - that has been his goal since college.  But I'm not ready to buy a house and he knows this.  So I will support and help him, but will have to get rid of my preconceived notions about what life is supposed to look like.  This conversation led to the talk of marriage and how I want to be ready, but am not.

(See how this conversation about him turned into a conversation about me?  I HAVE to stop doing that!)

I think this is part of what makes being in your mid-twenties so hard.  When you're growing up, you go to school, elementary, middle, then high school.  Then, you go to college - most of your friends do too. Everyone is in the same phase in life.  Then after college, you get a job or go to grad school.  Then what?  People start getting married and popping out kids.  That's what you're supposed to do, right?

It's worse with social media, because everyday you look at Facebook, you see these pictures of weddings and houses and babies.  It may just be the minority, but it's constantly there.  It makes me wonder if I should be doing these things, if I am behind somehow in the game of life.

I am 24 years old.  I am not behind.  I am doing just fine.  I am happy.  Enjoy the happy.  I have to keep reminding myself of this.  Truth be told, I am not ready for kids.  Marriage, well, I'll probably be ready sooner rather than later.  I think I need to get through being 25 first.  Grow up just a little more, see how I continue to change with the times.

Because when I think of Neil, and the years he will miss out on being young and without children, I get a little sad for him.  I'm excited he's having a baby if that's what he wants, but I just imagine him without any sleep, so tired of changing diapers and cleaning up spit up that he wonders what the hell he's doing with his life.  No more vacations to wherever without worrying about kids and diapers and food and the extra fare.  No more random drunken nights with friends being out until after 11.  Can't just take a kid into a theatre to watch the new Paranormal Activity or Batman.  No more just taking care of yourself and your significant other.  No more carefree times.

I am 24 years old.  I am not behind.  I am doing just fine.  I am happy.  Enjoy the happy.

"You are a strange bird"

If I had a nickel...

Do you ever put a really funny status in gchat, like "Maybe boys would like me if I was as pretty as my cat" and then wonder if the people who are in your list because you worked with them on a group project in college like, four years ago, think your status is real and not a joke?


And then...
Sim: I always enjoy your gchat statuses

me: haha good!

  i was like "hmm, i have a lot of ppl on here i don't talk to very often, i wonder if they can see me. ohhhh i wonder if they think my statuses are serious?"

 Sim: hahaha thatd be funny if they chatted u and were like "omg dont say that!"

 
YES.  Success.

See today, I read Ashley's blog.  She won my heart with this sentence: "And it’s something of a shock to find people I can spend endless hours with and not think, “Well, this is fun, but I would like to be alone now.”  Because her paragraph about herself being weird totally resonated my feelings about myself.

Then, I read Caragh's blog and saw a link to ErinGrace's blog.  And I just want to get all of these people (plus Liz) in the same room so we can play with my cat.  And then I can tell them all about how I was walking to Wawa while talking to my Dad on the phone and when I got there I saw my bf's roommate, Dave.  And I said hi but I was still on the phone.  And then I started ordering my sandwich, but this asshat got all up in my personal space trying to talk to the Wawa sandwich maker people, and then as soon as I hung up Dave came up to talk to me and I was still ordering my sandwich but was confused when it said I was done so I ended up really awkwardly ending the conversation with Dave by taking my receipt and running to the other side of the store.  And that's how I ended up with a plain cheese hoagie.  Which is not at all what I wanted.  But it had cheese and bread on it.  So I was still pretty happy.

And everyone would just nod and none of them would call me weird.  We'd order a pizza and wine and keep playing with the cat.  Possibly showing her bird videos on YouTube so she kept hanging around us.

Because, come on, she's really freaking cute.

Books, Books, Books

I decided 3 months ago that I wanted an e-reader.  While I love my 50 cent thrift store reads, it really is a pain in the butt to carry 2 or 3 books around at a time.  (I read fast, don't judge).  Then about 2 months ago, I dismissed the Kindle & Sony readers and decided I would get a Nook.  But, Nooks cost money, so I had to save up.  And make another decision.

So, on Saturday, I finally decided I would purchase a plain old Nook (not the "I-wanna-be-an-iPad" Nook Color) in the next 2 weeks.  And on Sunday my lovely boyfriend gave me a Barnes & Noble bag with a newly purchased Nook, complete with protective over.  Can you say LUCKY DUCK?!

And now I have a problem.  

There are so many decisions to make!!!  

1.)  Do I decorate this cover?!  Especially since it already has a water stain on it from work?!

2.)  Do I buy new cover that I can clean off easily.

3.)  How do I decide what books to buy/read?!?!

I feel like the internet can help me out on this.  There is a website where people share book recommendations?  The people that read my blog have ideas?

Luckily for us poorer folk, there are a lot of free e-books out there.  Even if you don't have a nerdy e-reader, you can find information on how to read stuff (fo' free!) here.

Also - saw Harry Potter yesterday.  Awesome except for the end where cheesy makeup seemed to make the main actors 5 years older instead of 19.

Now that the nerdgasm is over, I have a interesting story about 'the girl that convinced me to get a Nook'.  We always have the weirdest experiences together.

TGTCMTGAN and I ran over to the bar closest to our work at 1:58, hoping we could get one drink in before going home after a long shift.  Fortunately, we are both regulars and good tippers so we got 2 drinks.  Unfortunately, us and one very drunk dude were the only ones left sipping spirits.  Of course the drunkard starts talking to us, interrupting our conversation.  He calls us the boombox girls and tells us in his Boston accent "I'm a southern gentleman from Austin."  I reply in a NE accent "or from Boston." (for more of his inane ramblings follow @alooney on twitter).

He proceeded to tell us about his two divorces, how he'd like to see one of his ex-wives cut up in a trashbag on the side of the highway.  We were still giggling at his incoherent half-sentences when he roared "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU AREN'T MARRIED, YOU HAVE NO LOVE IN YOUR LIFE."

The moments of clarity that alcohol sometimes gives is ironic.

I always say, you'll meet the strangest people in bars after 2 a.m...

Some things just make me chuckle

Yesterday, I was reading on philly.com about some kid in a wheelchair and his clothing line when I noticed a gigantic ad in the background for the Philadelphia Auto Show which is going on in the next two weeks.  Guess what the tagline was.

Wait for it...

"Just slide on in."

If that's not a huge thats what she said, I don't know what it.

Another funny thing is fulfilled stereotypes.  But it's only funny when everyone in the situation thinks it's funny.  Otherwise, it's probably racist.  Or in appropriate.  So, still funny, but laugh in your head funny, not riotous laughter funny.  For instance, the other day at work, I had a table of four black people.  One couple was normal, the other was super ghettolicious.  The dude ordered a steak and chicken fajita.

Me:  How do you want your steak cooked?
Me in my head:  Well Done or Med Well, sent back for being a little pink
Him:  Gurl, what do I look like to you?  You know how we do.  Well. Done. Put it in the bank.
All of us:  Awkward chuckle laughter

Anddddddd fin.  Check out these two websites.  At least one will make you chuckle!

http://1000awesomethings.com/
http://catalogliving.net/

And you can put that in the bank!

Dazed and Confused and Surprised...

Some things never cease to amaze me.  Here's a smattering.

What is with number games that always turn out?  Someone posted the following on the Facebook yesterday.

This year we will experience 4 unusual dates.... 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 .... NOW go figure this out.... take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you WILL BE this year and it WILL EQUAL TO 111...Crazy!

And golly gee, it worked out for me.  HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?!  Does it work for everyone?  Does it work every year?!  Like next year, can you do it and everything will equal 112?  I'm usually considered somewhat "intelligent" but this kind of scenario has always escaped me. 

As the behavior of some parents has.  Parents are crazy and they are always "right".  Even when they want you to wear color coordinated clothes for family photos.  Which automatically makes awkward family photos.  Like these real life photos from my sister-in-law's family.

Not awkward enough yet?  Try the "siblings" picture.

Now, to be clear I love some of the people in these photos dearly.  But, if I had been forced to pose for photos like these, I would expect people to also make fun of me.  (I had a slight moral dilemma and the guilt will last til tomorrow, but come one.  I live to make people laugh.  You're welcome.)

Other things that escape me:  $9 well drinks, people who can't find the "silent" button on their cell phones even after they've disturbed a lecture or something already, gross pizza, gross mac&cheese, people who would rather have 9 kids than purchase a box of condoms, and various other things.

But more on that later.

Skalley-wags

My favorite class this term is ECON 698, Economics of Social Justice.  While its super interesting, its a lot of reading.

I got cut from work early on Sunday, and thank goodness because apparently I accidentally stole and iPhone and didn't even know it.  Talk about out of it.  So ANYWAY, around 10 I went to the bar down the street to visit a friend, drink, get some food, and celebrate Sunday Funday.  I sat at the bar by myself and kept reading my homework in between bantering with some of the servers and bartenders.  

These two cute dudes sat down next to me.

I proceeded to ignore them.

Mad Mex clothes + Mad Mex stench + Mad Mex attitude = NOT DOING IT.

After about 90 minutes, one of them started talking to me.

"Hey, what are you reading?"

"I'm reading about economics and religion in historic Europe.  Basically, this Chapter is about why Jewish people are considered stingy and rich."

"Oh, where do you go to school"

"Drexel"

"Oh, me too! I'm going to be a doctor!"

"Cool. I'm getting my MBA."

"Soooo, how are you going to remember what you're reading after four beers?"

"You're counting my beers?"

"uhhhhhh"

"I'm an alcoholic. And I have homework.  This is my solution. It's not like I'm ever going to be operating on anyone."

We talked about other things but I was disenchanted and I really really needed to finish the last 2 pages before I passed the productive part of my drinking.

They left.  Finally.

This was only one of my random stranger conversations this weekend.  Generally, I shy away from them, but being a server negates being shy.  I had another conversation about what Drexel kids think of Penn kids.  This was my take:

"I mean, there's always exceptions to the rule, but in general, Penn kids are snobby, always right, the most important people in the room, and they can't order correctly, be polite, or look at you like you're a human being.  Then they wave Daddy's Black 5 lb Amex card under your nose and proceed to tip you 10%.  And that's how I feel about Penn kids."

Me and the 911 dispatcher got rull close this weekend too.  Some dude puked all over his lap, chugged a beer, then asked for another one.  After being told "no, get out" he proceeded to almost start a fight.  And here were his parting words:

"its all cool when a dude comes in and spends all his money but as soon as he starts puking it's like dude get out!" (now, replace dude with the n-word...uh, yeaaaaa).  While he and his 15 person posse were waiting for all the employees to leave the building, he fell off a ledge and couldn't move.  I politely went over and said "hey guys, everything okay?  need any help?"  "nah man nah"

Okay.  Dial 911.

Twice.

Cuz they started fighting.

Like the dudes on Friday who tried to start fighting with the kitchen guys at 1:30 a.m.  "I'M FRESH OUT DA FEDERAL."

Oy.

So, what I learned this weekend:

1. Jewish people have that rich/stingy stigma attached to them because back in the day it was considered immoral to lend money at interest to people.  Back when the Christian church ran things.  But since Jews were going to hell anyway, they could lend money to anyone.  And then, because they were rich and hated and had a common language, they started dealing in small goods, like gems and gold because those things were easily hidden and available/valuable all over Europe.
2. People are uncouth, unpredictable, and they suck a little.  Or they're really cool.  There's just no way to know, and there's no way to avoid the stupid ones.
3. This new work schedule may kill me.  Or cause me to kill.
4. If a table hands you a stack of dishes, and their iPhone is inbetween two plates, its still your fault that the phone got "stolen" even if you return it.  

Fortunately, I have class all week and I can learn even more.  My brains are starting to fry....

PIctures Are Sometimes More Eloquent

Here's a shocker - I've been to a lot of bars lately.  Some marketing guru somewhere thought it would be a great idea to put advertisements in the bathroom.  I mean, what else are people gonna try to read while they are in there?  Not many people take comic books or regular books into a pub's restroom with them - that just downright says "I'm an alcoholic who can't leave the bar long enough to take a dump at home."

Luckily, I always take my phone.  One of the few reasons I would like a smartphone (specifically an iPhone) is so that I can do "check ins" on foursquare.

Because I want a free taco at a bar that charges 75 cents for a Miller High Life.
Classy. Lady. Right. Here.

This is in the bathroom at a local favorite bar of mine, Local 44.  I'm not sure why I took a picture of it or what it says.  But it was funny at the time.  Maybe just because it was in the bathroom.  Next time I go I will take a better picture.  It's a one room bathroom so it's not like I should've been rushing to get the picture in for fear that someone would see me and think I was strange.  [Like that doesn't happen all the time anyway].

Here are the two token pictures of my trip to AC.  Don't ask about the first one.  I must've been the same level of drunk for the last picture and this next one.  Same night.  No judgies.

Ya know how it goes.

Yea, we were there for the sunrise.  All of my friends said "ahh, how romantic."  I told them to shut the hell up, it was about as romantic as me trying not to toss my cookies at brunch.  It could've been.  I'm just a little dense.

The next picture is a throwback from June.  My friend saw it on Facebook and was like "will you take pictures at my wedding?  I love the filter on your camera."

Little did she know the recipe for that filter is a $25 Kodak digital camera and a bottle of carpet cleaner leaked in a purse and shaken around.

At least that could be my wedding gift to her.  Much like these chairs were a housewarming gift to me from my parents.  Four chairs, $16 bucks, and dragging them around a thrift store, up the street, to the Ford Focus later....

...we're going to have to chain them up in our backyard.  Our neighborhood has not gotten any safer.  Two shootings and a cop stabbing later, this is a regular day in our 'hood.

At least Nelly is still alive.  And as cute as ever.

Graphic Novella Time

Because I could not possibly relate to you in words what I am feeling right now...PICTURES!

I took a week off of work because I was too burnt out to continue without punching a lot of customers in the face, screaming "EFF YOU, I'M HUMAN TOO, AND I QUIT" and walking out.  After ordering a bunch of unwanted food for every single table in the restaurant.

Enuff said.

So I drowned my sorrows in shopping.  In the process I watched my lovely roommie Liz wrestle with a size 2 mannequin.

And then hosted a weekend of debauchery with my good friend David.  We had shots.  Lots and lots of shots. 

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY POGSTER!)

The next day, I got a call about an old car who had a flat.  Ah, Ford Probes.  What a lovely heap of junk.  It was my first car and I loved it dearly.  Got in lots of accidents.  However, my car looked much better than this one...probably because I got rid of it 4 years ago.

We stripped the nuts.  Just jack it up!  SO MANY EUPHEMISMS, SO LITTLE TIME.

So we made it a drinking game.  Another reason why I love West Phill-ay.

Later in the week, I soberly travelled home to witness my brother's graduation.  We were at the dinner table celebrating our family's 3 birthdays, 2 graduations, and Fathers' Day all at once.  Lots of opening of gifts.  My mother yelled at my little brother about leaving the price stickers on my older bro's present.  Then proceeded to hand out these gifts to her three children.

Note the present price sticker.  She frantically started ripping the gifts out of our hands to peel the stickers off, only for my smartass lil brother to point out the price was in Australian dollars, not USD.  (The reason the picture was so blurry was because I was fighting my 62 year-old mother off of me, after she knew the sticker was not in USD.  That's how opposed she is to price tags on gifts.)

Needless to say, it was one of those bust-a-gut times when you're not supposed to laugh, but you just have too.

Being in Central PA is kind of relaxing.  I forgot how much I missed having a car and blasting music.  And how much I love buying fresh food from the Amish.

Oh, and how much I love the cheap drugs stuff.

I hope you looked carefully at that picture.
If you didn't laugh, you didn't look carefully enough.

My time in Central PA comes to a premature end as we are all traveling back to Philly for my graduation Saturday.  So, until then, here is the token photograph of Nelly.  Playing/eating a piece of paper.  Not just once, she was going at it ALL WEEK LONG (twss?)!

I think it's safe to say she will never graduate from school.  But here is photographic evidence that the cat can eat my homework.

FIN.

I will hold onto hope

Let's hope this is true.  I don't think it is.

For instance.  In Sex & The City 2, Carrie Bradshaw will be using a HP.  An promoting it.  Along with all the other characters.  After HOW MANY YEARS of using a Mac.  Cool.  Do the opposite thing, just switch from a Mac to a PC.  Shatter everyone's hopes and dreams and sense of right and wrong.  Go ahead.  Do it.  Damn Hollywood, you are so cruel.

Money grubbers.

Next Fred Flintstone will be selling cigarettes instead of vitamins and mac & cheese.  Oh wait.  That already happened.

I will hold onto hope and I won't let you choke, on the noose around your neck.

(Mumford&Sons)

Picture Story (Graphic Novella?)

I always take a lot of pictures with my phone and mean to post pictures.  But I never do.  However, tonight I finally uploaded the 139 camera pictures I had.  So get ready for a very random and telling graphic novella of my life.

My biffle went to a tattoo convention and all she got me was this pretty bag!  And a great magazine to read!  Aren't the birds awesome.  Also, the bow can be removed depending on how girly I feel at the moment.  For instance, if I'm going out to pick up guys - bow on!  If I'm going to kick some ass, bow off!

Speaking of bags.  I did NOT get this at the thrift store last Saturday.  Mostly because I have no plants to water.  Also because there's no removable bow.  Fail.

Speaking of thrifting, a penny saved is a penny earned.  Have you seen the new pennies?  Come on government.  You couldn't come up with anything better than a superhero looking emblem.

Somehow that was better than some memorial to some president.  Okay, Abe Lincoln.  You know, the reason there's now someone who isn't white in office now (yay diversity!!!).  You, you government paid "designers,"  are as dumb as this mouse.  Who I stomped around and poked with a stick.  He didn't think I could do any harm to him.  In fact, he acted like a cat and just sniffed around and groomed himself.  Oh, to feel invincible.

No, there's no zoom on my camera phone.  Maybe there is.  But I don't know how to use it.  Heck, I can't even handle calling people sometimes.  However, I can handle creeping.  Like this girl, who I took a picture of at the bank.  She didn't notice when my phone made the "click, I just took a picture" sound on the highest volume.  But everyone behind me did.

I mean, she just looked ridiculous.  I HAD to document it.  Yes, I may or may not have a problem.  I admit nothing.  I also had to document my first pet, Tina, and her adorableness.  It's hard to bear the thought, but she will probably die soon.  I've had her since 5th grade.  How freakin' cute is she??

Oh man, my heart hurts just thinking about it.

And now for the stellar ending (and don't worry, this is the last of the graphic novella...for now...) I bought this lovely skirt today at Ann Taylor Loft (ATL) where my roomie works.  Isn't it cute?

FIN.

We love to talk on things we don't know about

I'm not ready to graduate. I'm not ready for the real world. Don't get me wrong, I'm so sick of classes and pointless exams and endless homework. And I can totally survive in the real world. No doubt.

I just don't want to.

Mostly because I have no idea what I want to do or who I truly am. When people are like "oh, what are you doing after graduation" the people that can't find themselves say "Peace Corps. [insert bumblefuck country here] is gonna be so fun. The people really need help there." Everyone knows that they are just delaying things and trying to immerse themselves in a completely different culture and feel good about it at the same time, without paying a large sum of money. The Peace Corps are a great idea. My answer to the dreaded question however is "grad school."

What I'm actually going to do is sort out my morals, values, and beliefs and try to figure out a way to live in harmony with myself because this dissonance is getting super annoying. Like a Cascada song on repeat when you're trying to sleep.

First things first, I'm giving up a shift at work. While I plan on quitting the restaurant job that eats my soul away bite by bite in June, for now giving up one shift could drastically change my outlook on life. Who needs to work Sunday morning anyway. It's only like a $7-$100 day anyway. And usually I'm super hungover and stressed about all of the schoolwork I have to get done before midnight. It's not the solution I need to "finding myself" or whatever, but it will be a small start.

For now, I'll plan on being happy eventually. I also plan on owning my own island and laying in a hammock for at least 3 months out of the year, sipping sangria and listening to music mixed with the sound of the ocean hitting the beach.

In other news, I'd like to pose 3 questions.

1.) If a family friend sent you a $100 check as a random gift, would you feel guilty cashing it?

2.) I saw a professor's facebook page. His profile picture was a shirtless portrait. Interesting or weird? Also, fired or hired?

3.) Liz, did you finish your homework yet?

More posts later. After grad school orientation.

Alcohol: A Solution

Last night at The Pit (dingy, underlit, can-smoke-inside, after hours kind of bar) one of my coworkers said "I have something called a drinking problem." I responded in kind "It's more of a drinking solution."

Well maybe it's both.

Obviously, I did not update my blog. Go figure. Real life happened. And stuff. There was probably alcohol involved. Not gonna lie. Will do it soon. Soon being anywhere from tomorrow until three/six months from now. Eventually....we'll leave it at that.

In the meantime, I want to talk about my "connects". And dumb boys. I know, I know, how do these relate? Well....sit back, take a swig of rum, at let me tell you the story.

There's this new boy. And as always, my mouth will ruin it. NOT IN THAT WAY GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. My issue is I work with this boy, and I canNOT help but have mouth diarrhea constantly about him and how much I would love to.........well, ya know (you may now insert your mind back into the gutter) while I'm AT WORK. And he's there too. Unclassy, unprofessional, and I'm a little disturbed by myself. So I have made a pact to stop talking about him. Period. Done. Fin. At work. At the top of my lungs.

Anyway.

This boy has a tattoo. And we hung out the other night and ended up talking about tattoos. Luckily, my bfffffffffxinfinity works at a tattoo shop! Which mean I have a connection that he can make use of. That we can make use of together actually, which makes my end goal all the more attainable.

So now this boy thinks I have a lot of connections. He brings up a good point. I know a lot of people, I meet a lot of people, people like doing things for me and I like hooking people up. So maybe I have a few connections. Showcased in the fact that I'm getting a brand new MacBook Pro for $875 instead of $1200. Which is AWESOME. If I can figure out how to work it.

My solution to the boy problem is alcohol. On Sunday, I shall get a lil tipsy, go to roller derby, hang out with all of my awesome friends, impress him with my awesome friends and maybe awesome outfit, and then drunkenly make out a lil. Maybe. If I can grow some imaginary balls.

Can some of my "connects" help me out with that? Doubt it.

My real plan: to do nothing. I have no idea. And I hate thinking about boys. Ima ride the wave and see what happens. If anything does, I have no doubt a little liquid courage will help me out a lot. Otherwise, I'm resting on my laurels. And my connections. Thanks guys.

Unwaxed Poetic

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted in desire

I hold with those that favor fire.

But if I had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

Mondays and Wednesdays kill me. Every. Single. Week. I'm exhausted. And this morning I got called out by a professor. So far, we've turned in one assignment that I failed horribly because I just forgot to do it and we've taken exactly one test. After he was done handing back the assignment and test together, he pulled me aside and told me he expected better from the way I participate in class and carry myself. The girl sitting next to me (we're those "oh hey how ya doing let's sit by each other so we can wake each other up all the time" friends, not too close but very handy) got a worse grade than I did on each paper and all she got was a little "eh, do a little better". Why? How could my professor tell?

My work friend told me today "you're just not good at hiding your intelligence." Which I suppose is fair, but I'm not sure why. What is it that makes my intelligence come out? Especially at work? Slinging burritos and margaritas isn't exactly rocket science. In fact, most of the staff is inebriated (in one way or another) most of the time. The other half are just plain lunatics.

And the way I talk? I don't pronounce many words right and I also have a slightly limited vocabulary. (Listen, I grew up with a Southern dad, a Pennsylvania Dutch mother, the first three years of my life I heard Long Islanders speak, and then I spent most of my education in Central Bumfuck PA - talk about a myriad of accents). And I have annoying habits like saying "anyway" ALL OF THE TIME as a conversation ender/segue. Or "so" or "well" or "uhhhhhhhhh, so yea".

Plus, I picture most really intelligence people as well dressed, on time, studious expression, eye contact, normal social skills, and sort of conservative looking. I am always wearing a restaurant T-shirt and cut offs with ugly black sneakers. I am perpetually 15 minutes late. Mouth open, eyes unblinking does NOT count as a studious expression last time I checked. Eye contact? What's that? Normal social skills? I was awkward at so many tables to day. The awkward was palpable. As for sort of conservative looking? I have 4 to many piercings and the attire on that I mentioned above.

But I do have this going for me: people do invite me along places because they wanna hang out and make decent conversation. Intelligent people are required for decent conversations. Therefore, I must either make decent conversation or be intelligent. Right?

Oh, logic.

Toy with me not!

I believe you,

I just don't know.

- Andrea

It's the Small Things

I have about 15 minutes to get ready and get to work, so today's post will be short. I promise more scintillating posts later. Like tomorrow. Or whenever Comcast (Xfinity) chooses to grace me with the internet service I pay more than $100/month for.

Have you ever been in the bathroom and heard someone randomly giggling? Like there's something to giggle about in the bathroom. There's stalls, sometimes graffitti, underwear, a chance that mother nature gave you a gift (ladies), a fear of farting, some TP and not a whole lot else going on. Chances are if someone is giggling it is over a text message or it's me, laughing at something like this:

Haha, Hiney Hider, haha. Someone is funny in the marketing department.

Okay, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go!

Extremely Rare

Like most girls, I have a self-confidence issue. Mine pertains mostly to the whole "no one would wanna sleep/date/makeout a lil with me" ordeal, rather than the "I always look like crap" or the "I won't eat because someone called me fat" or the "I can't hang because I think I'm dumb, boring, and ugly." Or maybe I'm just naive. Based on my past experience, I'm probably just really naive.

Over the past year, things have changed a lot for me though. I've had multiple hookups, a bf or two, and someone crushing on me. However, being a typical crazy girl, I didn't really "get it" until the other day at work when I had a conversation with a regular.

A bartender at work really wants to sleep with me. We always make inappropriate jokes towards each other, and the regular (Nate) always hears it. The other day I told Nate: you know, it's all in good fun, but he really does wanna sleep with me. And Nate responded: I don't blame him. Wtf?!?! Really?!?! People see me in this light?!?! Weird.

That day me and the bartender both got off work early and decided to go to a local Irish pub for a few drinks. Luckily, we met my roommate Liz on the way, who decided to join us. This provided me with a much needed safety blanket. We all had a great time, and, per usual, I awkwardly paid for nothing. But, per usual, our tab was a fraction of what it should've been, so I don't feel as bad I do normally.

The entire time I could only think about "THE TALK" that was looming with another man. Everyone's been there and I've been here twice. The first time I had to have the talk with a man, it wasn't as big of a deal because I knew we would easily stay friends, and I also knew exactly what would happen. For those of you wondering what "THE TALK" entails...long story short, I've been with this guy for 9 months now, and the past 4 have made some sort of emotional attachment/relationship develop. Now I like him and he likes me. So we have to make a conscious decision to move on or stop. There's no in-between. There's either a dreaded relationship or the end of a really great situation.

We had the talk last night. It took me three weeks to decide that I actually want to continue this relationship, continue being happy. Now, I have to wait for him to decide if that's also what he wants. I hate this. I have to wait. And I'm not at all sure about the outcome.

So the weekend will be devoted to restraining my texting, hanging out with friends, drinking beer as the snow falls, and just waiting. Waiting for someone who has become a huge part of my life to decide whether he will continue to be a huge part of my life. Next week, I may have to figure out how to fill a void.

This is an extremely rare situation for me, and I am not at all enjoying it.

Cheers.

Thoughts...

I couldn't flesh out into full entries...

You know those really annoying "I have a cause, who is paying me $15/hr to recruit people to sign up, and you should really stop and talk to me about it" people? Well, I met a really nice one today. I was on my way to Art History (sounds boring, but I totally love it) after a very tiring night at work. I chose to stop and get a large coffee, even though it made me late because I needed it. The guy legit raised his hand from half a block away and was like "HEY! How are you doing? Can you stop and talk about __ (insert animal rights or other random cause here) for a minute?" Normally these people are really effin annoying and won't leave you alone. But, I answered "sorry, I'm already five minutes late for class." Instead of a death glare or a "c'mon, please, doesn't world peace mean anything to you?!?!?!" he said "alright, have a good day!!!" It warmed my heart a little. But not enough so that I didn't purposefully avoid him on my way to my next class....

On another random waiting for class experience, I saw a girl with a tote bag. Not an uncommon appearance on campus. Usually they say "juicy couture" or "insert random sorority here" or "hoes before bros" or something. But this particular girl's bag said "Girls on Top" complete with a very fake, glossy kissy lips logo. Can you say slut? I mean, why advertise it? Obviously you're easy, and you're not that bad looking. I'm sure guys get the hint when you show up to parties in sub-zero degree weather with nothing but boots on. Really? At noon on a Tuesday? Okay, I get it. You make a 20 spot every night on the street. Hope that pays for Drexel for ya.

AT&T, you suck. I thought it was just my phone. But my roommate informs me that its the network. Well, suck my nonexistent balls. You should work all the time. You shouldn't decide what texts to send (unless it's a kind of drunk-o-meter) and you shouldn't decide when I only get to call 9-1-1 or when I get to call whomever I want. That should be my right under the 32nd Amendment. Unluckily for me, they haven't passed that yet.

I was also gonna post a re-crap of tonights Project Runway, but sadly it was disappointing. I can already pick out who will stay most of the time despite sucking due to their personality (gay guy from south, Chinese lady who is, said nicely, just plain weird) and who will get kicked out first. Later, I may re-crap it, but tonight, there's no point. As there is NO POINT in having a "Model of the Runway Show" as the models do not get judged and they are just used as places to model the artwork/fashion. I mean, just watch Project Runway and you know exactly who will be the final model. Simple, easy, and pointless. Thank you network television for something stupider than Snookie saying "that's SOOOO gross, it was like alive before you killed it."

And as everyone's IQ drops, I wish you a Happy Friday!!

Slavery

I have a professor that is mad. Mad as in insane, not as in angry. Professor Mullin. Or something. I could look up the spelling, but I'm feeling apathetic. Anyway, let me tell you about Professor Mullin.

The first day of class, we all knew he was odd. For example, the following happened while taking attendance:

Prof: Is Josh Daniels here?

Josh: Here.

Prof: Where you from Josh?

Josh: Upstate New York.

Prof: Where in upstate New York? (P.S. this was the 5th time we had gone through this same exact dialog)

Josh: Binghampton.

Prof: *Takes phone out of his pocket and glances at it*

Prof: I'll be right back, this might be your mom.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Prof: Josh?

Josh: Yea?

Prof: It's okay, it wasn't your mom. Violet Gary, are you here?

Besides calling every female Susan and every male Jim, he has several other odd quirks. The way he talks to people could be considered offensive and very blunt. He always says "when I was a kid, back in 1890..." which probably only annoys me because he says it at least twelve times during one lecture. Prof Mullin also always comes in 7 minutes late and ends 3 minutes late, despite the stupid little Asian girl that never fails to poke her head in the door so she can be the first one to get a seat in the next class. (The first day, she did it twice.)

Anyway, I think I've painted a sufficient enough picture to come to the point of this blog post.

Today, Professor Mullin starts talking about slavery. Slavery is not the easiest subject to talk about. It's something a lot of people would like to forget about. It's like bringing up the holocaust in a German classroom. But I'm sure there's a pc way to do it. But I'm also sure that Professor Mullin isn't pc.

This is the way he introduced the topic: he points at the only black person in the classroom and goes "back when I was a kid, in the 1800s, how much of a person were you? 3/5s. And I could own you. And you, and you, and you, and you" as he points to everyone who is not Caucasian, including a girl who is probably Native American. That wasn't the end of the topic, but as the awkward set in, I chose instead to avert my eyes from something I considered of poor taste.

And what do I see with those averted eyes? The alumni nameplate on my desk. "Annette & Fred Crotchfelt III '65 '66.

Crotchfelt?!?! Really?!?! THE THIRD?!?! REALLY?!?!?! Does it look like I'm really laughing about slavery right now?!?! REALLY?!

And I thought MY last name was bad!