Occupy Wall Street

I had a revelation the other day.  Well, more like a part of an idea that caught my attention.  I was reading about the health care coverage gap - some poor people can't get subsidies for health care AND don't qualify for Medicare.  Regardless of what you think about the healthcare law, that's kinda effed up.

It got me thinking, as a country, our priorities are a little out of order.  Why are we trying to fix other countries when our own citizens don't have homes, access to education, nutritional knowledge and means to buy food?

Then I realized Aaron Sorkin had already summed up my thoughts for me.

Someday, Occupy Wall Street, or something very similar will rise again.  And after all the uncomfortable stuff is over, this will be a better country.  Or there will be war.

Parties and Such

I've been wanting to post an update for a few weeks, and there have been two reasons why I haven't.  1) I haven't been doing so well going to the gym or eating well - not terribly, but not awesome.  Like mediocre.  That's been making me feel bad and generally bringing my mood down.  2)  My computer has been sucking balls.  It's a few (read 5-6) years old and the insides were getting gunky.  You know the drill - 5 minutes to switch between browser tabs, etc.  

But I have great news - I overcame my computer problems and fixed them myself.  And now it works great.  Even though I apparently need new RAM or memory or both or something.

Last night, the throwback PSP party happened!  I organized it, no big deal, and it went off without a hitch despite my irrational anxiety about it beforehand.  The cops only came once and we kicked the keg and everyone seemed to have a really great time.  Success!  There were a few people who were unable to come that I really would have loved to see, but, there's always another time.  I also handled my anxiety really well during the entire thing - didn't black out, paced myself, and was sober without spins when I got home.  Also didn't have that usual drunk shame the next day.

My overall blahness is still around.  I'm going to the gym all this week, so that should help.  Otherwise, I just need another hobby or project or something to work on.  I was working on cleaning my crap up and starting to digitize all of my old paper files that are hanging around.  But that's less than inspiring.

So, I don't know, we'll see.  I feel like January and February are always the hardness months for me personally to shake off my depression and anxiety issues.  Especially with all the changes that have been going on lately.  Guess I"ll just keep on keeping on.

This turned into my 2013 reflection post...

I'm still avoiding that post reflecting on 2013 for a variety of reasons.  It was definitely a year of transitions and growing pains.  At the beginning of it, I was very broke, working at a hellhole with some of my very good friends.  I had to get another job to make the amount of money I needed to live and pay loans.  My boss was a shitty human being, not just a shitty boss, but a terrible, evil, vindictive, airhead bitch of a human being.  Between working a full-time and part-time job, I was trying to get into shape.  I succeeded, but I struggled with also giving myself to my relationship.

That was Jan-June.  In June, the restaurant I was working at part-time closed, so I was out of a job.  I ramped up my search for a better full-time job before resigning myself to another few months of bone-tired existence.  One of my best friends made the decision to move to Baltimore, and while I couldn't have been happier for her, I knew I'd miss her like hell.  Completing a boxing bootcamp left me in the best shape of my life, but soon after I had to give up my membership because I couldn't afford it any longer with only one job.

Late July I randomly applied for a job at a super awesome financial institution (one of the biggest and best in the world), expecting not to hear anything.  Got a phone interview.  The lady said I'd have to take a bunch of licensing tests and whatnot, I said okay, again not expecting to get a real interview.  Got a real interview.  Borrowed someone's car, slept over at their place, got up at 6 a.m. for an interview, it was raining.  Six other people were there.  Immediately fell in love with the idea of working there, tried to erase all the good things from my memory so when I got the call back I wouldn't feel as bad.

In August, I found out I got the job!  I was very excited.  In fact, here's a picture of me leaving the hellhole on the last day.

See how sad?

I spent a very long weekend in Syracuse with my beautiful and awesome niece, then I started the new job.  The commute is something I'm still getting used to, it's a little over an hour each day.  But it's on a train so I can do whatever I want - read, email, catch up on sleep - so it's okay.  However, it's still an adjustment.

I spent the next month and a half studying very hard for some licensing exams.  I passed!  Then spent another month in training.  I finally started for real at the end of Thanksgiving.  While talking on the phone all day is more draining than I thought, it's still a thousand times better than most of my other jobs (CHOP excluded).  I'm very excited for my future there.

And that takes us up until 2014.  There's some things I missed, like winning the kickball championships!  I thought I had a brain tumor for awhile, but turns out it was just a thyroid problem.  I had to cancel some trips due to money, but now I'm doing so much better.  It's now been more than a year living with Trent and three years of dating, it's still pretty cool.  And Nelly is still alive and a little skinnier.

So all-in-all a little rough, lots of changes, but coming out better on the back end.

Cheers to 2014.  To running a marathon, doing a pull-up, and loving myself.

Christmas time!

The wine party was great - but I did not win, which was sad.  I splurged on some Frank Coppola wine.  It was fancy! And just so you know - bacon wine, not that impressive.  It doesn't really taste like bacon.  At all.

Christmas time is always so busy, mostly because it creeps up on you so fast.  They started playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving.  Everyone was so pissed that they boycotted Christmas music until a week after Thanksgiving.  And guess what, BAM, it's Christmas.  Already.  What?!?!

I love Christmas.  It goes against every hipster bone in my body, but I can't help it, I love it.  Finding the perfect gifts is the best.  I got my parents an iPad.  It's used, and not the newest model, but they are going to love it and I cannot wait to give it to them.  I'm also very much looking forward to hugging my niece and never letting her go for the 24 hours I get to see her.

I wish it was mandatory to have off the day after Christmas as well.  I'm leaving straight from Paoli after the markets close, catching the Amtrak train there and then traveling to Harrisburg on Christmas Eve.  The day after Christmas, I'm waking up before the sun to catch a train back from Harrisburg to Paoli to go straight to work.  It's a lot of work to get home for less than 48 hours - but did I mention Christmas is my favorite holiday?!

This is certainly not a deep post or one with any original thoughts.  I leave you with this article.  Last post, I mentioned a few things I wanted to blog about, one being social media and bullying.  I read this article about a girl who committed suicide because of bullying.  While the article brings up some interesting points, I feel like it only address symptoms, not the cause of the problem.  We all know kids suck.  There's been bullying forever (I just watched Karate Kid, bullying was a thing).  Sure, I'm super happy I didn't grow up with the pressure of social media.  But I also grew up with a bunch of kids whose parents were not divorced, who were super involved in their life, and who taught them if they didn't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.  You had to sit down for dinner and talk about your life, with people that demanded manners and full sentences.  For the most part, if you were caught making fun of someone, you were scolded by your peers, not rewarded.

I just think there's been a deterioration of the American family.  There's an overall lack of community.  Maybe I'm just making this shit up, but don't you think there's a deeper overall problem?  It's like the school shootings and the immediate jump to gun control.  It's not guns people.  Guns have been around since we invaded America.  What's the bigger issue?  Seriously.  There has to be one.  Why can't we find it?

Post-college emotional vomit

Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope everyone's went well.  Mine did, better than expected even!  Ever tried hard apple cider with a shot of fireball whiskey poured in?  You should.

Yesterday I watched this movie called Frances Ha.  Jessica (an awesome person Liz introduced me to) blogged about it and I like her taste so I watched it on Netflix.  If the definition of a good movie is invoking emotions in the viewer, this was a great movie.  

It's about Frances (duh) who is 27 and a struggling dancer in NYC.  Her bff Sophie and her start the movie living together, but life happens and Sophie moves onward and upward.  Frances kind of gets left behind.  She's awkward and broke and missing her other half.  Every other sentence when she's in a group of people is "in college, this" "in college, that."  Anyway, I guess it's a coming of age story.  One that painfully reminded me of the past few years.

After I graduated from college with a freakin' master's degree, it took me nine months to find a real person job, and even when I found it, it paid absolute crap and I felt taken advantage of.  Thank goodness I worked with some of my friends and we made it through together, because some days I just wanted to punch my boss in her dumb face.  In fact, I made so little money there I had to have two jobs, kept working in a restaurant just to keep up the student loan payments.

The feelings of that time - no money, no direction, no accomplishment and a sudden lack of community - came rushing back as I watched this movie.  It wasn't that long ago, I just got a job that changed my entire life in September, and I was studying to get licensed the first month or so, passing the exams was necessary to move forward, failure meant getting fired.  

Needless to say, these are still fresh, raw emotions.  I guess what I'm trying to say is life after college is rough.  It takes some of us a long time to get our shit together.  The awkward post-college, pre-getting-your-shit-together phase is absolutely awful.

And this movie does a great job at telling that story.

Failure

I read an article that really stuck with me this week.  It was about failure and how hard we are on ourselves sometimes.  Whoever wrote it made a brilliant comparison between what we tell ourselves when we fail, and how we react to others' failures.  For instance, when a baby tries to talk, our normal reaction is "oh my goodness, you are so cute babbling along!" instead of "stupid baby, I can't believe you can't freakin' talk yet!"

For a long time, I've been struggling with weight.  In the past three weeks, I've lost 7 lbs. Then, I had a really great friend spend the weekend and I ate and drank whatever and proceeded to feel like a total fat failure.  In fact, I've viewed the past 7 years of dealing with weight has mostly a failure.  I did run a 1/2 marathon and I learned how to fight, but past that I've had a few good months but that's it.

Last night, with the article still tickling my neurons, I met up with some friends who haven't seen me in a long time.  I got the "you look great!" comment and immediately dismissed it.  C'mon people, can you not see I've been failing for 7 years!  Then I took a step back and decided to be a little nicer to myself and here is what I saw.

I started college as a size 22, so out of shape it was hard to walk up a hill, forget even walking a mile.  Since then, I've consistently gone down, albeit little by little.  I did run a half marathon, I've been in super good shape, and now I can run a mile and walk everywhere.  I am a size 16 now, I've taking responsibility for my eating habits and am making a very conscious effort to track calories, portion sizes and balance.  On Monday, I start at a gym again.

So taking that all into account, I guess I haven't really been failing.  Sure, my journey is not a fast one, no where near the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" and maybe no where near other people's.  But I'm not failing.

In the next four months, I'm going to focus on my mile time, my assisted pull-up weight and overall lb loss.  I made a calendar and am going to track those things weekly/bi-weekly.  My long term goals are a marathon, 40 lbs down and a pull-up by the end of November 2014.  I'll post updates now and then just to keep myself accountable and to remind myself that I'm not failing.

Because no one likes to fail, it's just a necessary part of life.  Without it, there can be no success.

Compared to everyone else...

What does your FaceBook feed say?  Mine says engaged, engaged, married, anniversary, look at my cute kid, look baby now toddler, oops another baby! (just kidding we planned it), look I still drink beer!  I know every generation laments something that is changes and wonders how it will impact future heirs to come, and here is what we will ruminate about:  what are the consequences of social media and the internet?

It's such a weakness of mine (and of humanity's, I think) to constantly compare what I'm doing and where I'm at in life with everyone else that I know.  Like I said, I've been working on it!  And then I realized what I was doing everyday.

Get up in the morning, look at FB, then Instagram, then Tumblr.  Get ready for work, leave, get on the bus, look at FB, then Instagram, then Tumblr.  Get a break in the day, look at FB, then Instagram, then Tumblr.  Sensing a pattern?  And while I love keeping up with friends from all over without actually taking the time to talk to them, I constantly hear that voice in my little head "they are so much more successful than you are, look at them, traveling the world, getting married, having babies, what ARE you doing with your LIFE?"

It's funny to see how it's shaped our world.  While, at our fingertips, we have a wealth of knowledge available in an instant and that has surely done a lot of good in the world, we also have a wealth of people to compare ourselves with.

And it's not just the internet - the Kardashians, Biggest Loser, the Voice, American Idol, The Real World, Intervention, Hoarders, insert a reality show here.  America eats it up.  Know we know that there are indeed people in the world that think buffalo wings are from actually buffalos (ha, I'm not as dumb as her!).  And there are people who literally waste their lives away doing drugs or squishing cats with newspapers (I'm so better than that).  Oh, and how could I forget, people who get Land Rangers on their 16th birthdays (jealous/what a bitch).

It's just something to take in and be aware of.  Things are changing, let us not lose sight of what's really important.  It just ends up detracting from happiness.

Funny how things change.

I got a new job!  I wake up every morning surprised that I don't hate my life.  My friend and I got out of the hell-hole at the same time.  It was kind of like we were in a large warehouse, running away from people with guns.  The warehouse doors were closing and we just barely made it under the ever-lowering escape door right before imminent slavery and death.

Dramatic, I know.  But it is still kind of like that.

Now I'm bored.  I was just talking to a friend yesterday - it's like, you get out of school, you have all this debt and no money.  You used to just go get drunk with friends all the time, but now everyone's spread out, you're lazy and broke.  You have a significant other at home that you kind of really like hanging out with.  So you sit at home, watch TV, clean and then lament about how you're bored.

I picked up crocheting.  Again.  For the thousandth time.  Since my commute has grown from 8 minutes to 68 minutes, I'm actually 1/3 of the way through a scarf.  But then what?!

I've been watching Community lately.  I just got yesterday how they are a little community, and how important it is.  Now, we're all glued to our phones and laptops and tablets and TVs, very rarely having face-to-face conversations or hang-out sessions.  I don't like it, yet I cancelled my Twitter account the other day then immediately opened it again.  Haven't posted in almost a year - I'm just worried about losing my username.

Seriously.

So anyway - if you're a friend, please come hang out with me.  We can crochet and drink tea together, because I have yarn and tea and water.  I also have coffee - but no cream.

Being White in Philly

This is kind of interesting.  An article written for Philly Mag about white people's take on the socio-economic downtrodden ghetto neighborhoods full of black people.  Honestly, while most people may think it's bold, I think it is a lame article.  We all know there is a faction of people that act that certain way that makes you cringe, walk on the other side of the street, or feel awful for having loving parents. They aren't always black.  Ever been to North Philly?

What I want to happen is a community shift.  I want communities to come together and start supporting the public schools so that a mom who works four jobs, or one who just doesn't know how to be actively involved, can put their kid in a place where there are role models who support education, values, and breaking the cycle.  I want there to be a center where there are sports, arts, music, and a general loving atmosphere where kids can hang out when they aren't in school.  I want the rich kid and poor kid sitting side by side, talking about life.

We need to break the cycle.  This article won't do that.  Exposing the real culture that accepts bad behavior, ripping off the government, and committing crimes will.  Waking people up, getting people talking about how they really feel may.  People need to get involved, from both sides of the tracks, before anything changes.  It can't just be white people talking about black people.  It's gotta be humans talking about humans.

How do you feel?

Dreaming About Things

I throw on my green Great Lakes Brewery t-shirt and start pulling on my sneakers.  My boo comes down the hallway, takes one glance at me and groans.  "You can't wear that shirt to the gym!  It promotes beer drinking."  Quizzically, I look at him, "but I wear this shirt to workout in all the time."  "NO!  You can't - think of beer bellies running on treadmills.  Not good.  I can't go with you if you wear that shirt."

Suddenly, our conversation is interrupted.  My mom is pulling up our driveway while having a conversation with my dad and brother who are playing basketball on the asphalt front of her.  Their conversation halts as something shrieks.  My brother's mouth drops open, my dad points and screams "THE DOG, YOU'RE RUNNING OVER THE DOG."  My mom backs up, as I run outside and cradle the dogs bloody head, knowing that death is imminent.

That is just a mild dream.  Most of my dreams are worse than that - more violent and thriller-esque.  My boo is convinced I have a sleep disorder.  In leui of going to a sleep study, where I am convinced that I will be diagnosed with sleep apnea and have to wear a mask for the rest of my life, I'm doing my own research.  Calling all doctors! (S - I mean you)

Can dreaming really be a sleep disorder?  I have read that acting out your dreams is called REM Sleep Behavior Disorder.  I don't act out my dreams, although sometimes I do move around a lot.  Dreams happen during REM sleep, so my argument is that I just get a lot of REM sleep throughout the night, which probably means my sleep health is okay and I don't have sleep apnea.  (If you couldn't tell, I'm obsessed with not have sleep apnea - my mom wears a mask and I'm just too young for that.)

I remember having about 2 dreams per night.  That's probably a lot?  My argument is that I only remember the bad dreams.  In life, people generally remember the bad things more vividly and often than the good stuff.  It's our biological way to ensure that we always remember the bad stuff so we know to avoid it so we can live.  In my dreams, I've run away from killers and rapists, escaped bombs and nuclear attacks, and tried to solve serial murders that I had to solve before I inevitably became the victim. I think my conscience is just training me for the zombie apocalypse.

Boo is concerned because he thinks the bad stuff I dream and the rate at which I remember it is bad.  Do I need help?  Or should I learn to lucid dream so I can turn the bad dreams into good dreams?

Are You Ready Yet?

This morning a kid from high school popped up in my newsfeed with a status update about a fetus.

Neil was always the kid in the back of the band room, getting in trouble for goofing off during rehearsal.  He was nerdy and smart, but silly.  His feet seemed too big and he would go from joking around to super serious in 2.3 seconds.  He was just a goofy kid.  I never thought that six years after graduating from high school, Neil would be updating the world about his unborn child that his wife is carrying.

A couple of nights ago, I had a conversation with my boo about buying a house.  He really wants to - with or without me - that has been his goal since college.  But I'm not ready to buy a house and he knows this.  So I will support and help him, but will have to get rid of my preconceived notions about what life is supposed to look like.  This conversation led to the talk of marriage and how I want to be ready, but am not.

(See how this conversation about him turned into a conversation about me?  I HAVE to stop doing that!)

I think this is part of what makes being in your mid-twenties so hard.  When you're growing up, you go to school, elementary, middle, then high school.  Then, you go to college - most of your friends do too. Everyone is in the same phase in life.  Then after college, you get a job or go to grad school.  Then what?  People start getting married and popping out kids.  That's what you're supposed to do, right?

It's worse with social media, because everyday you look at Facebook, you see these pictures of weddings and houses and babies.  It may just be the minority, but it's constantly there.  It makes me wonder if I should be doing these things, if I am behind somehow in the game of life.

I am 24 years old.  I am not behind.  I am doing just fine.  I am happy.  Enjoy the happy.  I have to keep reminding myself of this.  Truth be told, I am not ready for kids.  Marriage, well, I'll probably be ready sooner rather than later.  I think I need to get through being 25 first.  Grow up just a little more, see how I continue to change with the times.

Because when I think of Neil, and the years he will miss out on being young and without children, I get a little sad for him.  I'm excited he's having a baby if that's what he wants, but I just imagine him without any sleep, so tired of changing diapers and cleaning up spit up that he wonders what the hell he's doing with his life.  No more vacations to wherever without worrying about kids and diapers and food and the extra fare.  No more random drunken nights with friends being out until after 11.  Can't just take a kid into a theatre to watch the new Paranormal Activity or Batman.  No more just taking care of yourself and your significant other.  No more carefree times.

I am 24 years old.  I am not behind.  I am doing just fine.  I am happy.  Enjoy the happy.

Great People and Ideas

You've seen this quote:

"Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people."

It struck a chord with me, as it invariably does every few years I see it.  I haven't had a good brainstorming session since college.  Most of my conversations revolve around work, student loans, and pondering the stupidity that surrounds the world and its people.

Listening to This American Life as I was walking home from work, they touched on Honduras  the murder capital of the world, where politicians give-aways, in lieu of stickers or phone cases or T-shirts, came in the form of coffins.  The people there are so poor, and the murder rate is so high, that coffins are a great way to gain favor with the masses.  Believe it or not, a few people are trying to fix this problem with radical ideas that abolish the whole system and start from the beginning.  A few brave people will take Honduras from a suffering state into a thriving nation by put their ideas into action.

This led me to thinking about why there isn't an organization in the city that is addressing the problems humanity is facing in Philadelphia.  I mean, I'm sure there is, but why don't we know about it?  Who is talking about the violence and poverty?  Who is addressing the sad and inferior state of the public school system?  Where are the people willing to implement mass plans to teach everyone, yes, even those residing in Kensington, a healthier way to eat.  Then, who will implement the plan to get them access to fresh fruits and vegetable?  Where are the community gardens?

Where are the people that care?

My thought is that most people think they can't make a difference alone.  Why would their idealism produce viable plans that create positive change?  But that is the kind of thinking leads to deterioration of society.  Why can't an open forum be started by one person?  Start in a neighborhood, expand to other neighborhoods, and then start impacting the city.

I have ideas.  I have ideas about injecting morality back into society and holding people responsible for their actions.  I have an idea about where to start talking about teaching kids health, nutrition, respect for themselves and others, teaching them to think for themselves and ask the hard questions.  I have a lot of ideas.

Do you have ideas?

Sweet Sunday Afternoons

My laundry is done, the apartment is clean(er), and my lunch and breakfast are cooked for the week.  Sunday nights would be the best nights, if only it didn't mean that Monday morning inevitably starts the next day.

I just read this article about having a day of rest; the Sabbath literally means "rest" or "cease".  The article argued that doctors should not only ask patients if they smoke, exercise, or eat cheesesteaks for dinner every night, but also ask people how much they are working and how much they rest.  In today's society, it's important to ask these questions because stress can lead to all kinds of bad things.  When we have cell phones and social networks and jobs that never rest, we never get a break from everything.  Makes sense.

There's just so much to do and try!

Today I did three brand new things, which is quite a lot for a usually restful day.  This morning, I swallowed my fears surrounding touching people, and went to JuJitsu class.  I wasn't very good and there was a lot of touching and being close to people.  Pondering whether or not to return on my bus ride home, I realized I would probably go back for the sheer learning of a new thing.  I also realized I would probably be mad at myself for the first few classes for choosing to do such an uncomfortable thing.

Second brand new thing:  juicing.  My wonderful boyfriend got my a Breville juicer for Christmas and I hadn't taken it out of the box until today.  It seemed like a lot of work to clean and figure it out.  And I was scared of messing it up.  Seems silly, right?  One apple, carrot, kale and broccoli juice later, I'm so happy I tried it!  I just wish juice stayed fresher for longer.

Have you ever tried baked hard "boiled" eggs?  Well I will tomorrow, because for the first time, I made them tonight.  It's the minor things, people.

My whole being active and healthy thing has been going really well for these past two weeks, but next Sunday, I am taking a break and resting.  I cannot face another Monday being this tired.

New York Eve

That last post was terrible.  For some reason, I needed to have my 250th post on New Year's Day.  I was hungover and not feeling terribly "share-y" or reflective.  I didn't even feel the need to talk about how I spent NYE in Brooklyn and Manhattan!

My friend lives in Brooklyn in old, comfy, and roomy apartment   She shares the space with two other people; the roommate I met is middle-aged, of the crazy cat lady persuasion.  At 2 a.m., she came out of her room saying "don't worry you didn't wake me up, but I just want to see if I can get you guys anything."  She proceeded to hang out and talk to us for about 20 minutes, trying to make us food and telling us stories.  We were all just so tired and drunk, bed was the only thing on our minds.

To be fair, the crazy cat lady didn't come out at 2 a.m. saying "you damn kids making all that racket, how dare you!"

Before all that, we arrived in Brooklyn around 4 p.m. and had to come up with a plan.  My thoughts of spending NYE in any of the five boroughs has always been super crowded, really expensive, and not that fun.  Planning our night that afternoon seemed like it was going to fulfill what I was imagining.  Everyplace was sold out of tickets, or not letting people in until 11 p.m.  Not only were we looking for plans of our little group of 5, other people would be meeting us later.  Extra pressure!

We ended up with two options:  an 80s themed bar in Brooklyn, really close to the apartment, or meeting some different friends in Lower Manhattan who already had seats at the bar.

For many reasons, we ended up taking the G & C to Manhattan.

When we first walked into Ulysses, I had my doubts.  It was crowded and we ended up standing in a "hallway" type area which was only wide enough for one person, so when people tried to walk by, there was a lot of up-close-and-personal touching.  But, we had a great bartender, and in the first 15 minutes I had a beer and three shots.  After that, I really started having fun!

Everyone was really nice and friends paid for a lot of our drinks.  I couldn't believe it when we were already counting down the time!  After the clock switched to midnight, everyone sang along to Frank Sinatra's "New York New York".  Honestly, it was the best New Years I've had in awhile.

Let me say this:  I was wrong.  I do not know everything.  I am only 24 years old and not all of my preconceived notions are even close to being reality.  A good lesson to keep in mind for 2013.

I heart Chicago

The amount of stories I have to write about from this past week is staggering.  Unfortunately, in this age of "Omg, you have a blog and you wrote what you think about us? You're fired." Means I can write very little about my trip to Chicago.

Chicago is a great city.  This time, I actually got a chance to walk around and see the city, which is beautifully decorated for the holiday season.  There's a cupcake ATM, a lit up Trump Hotel, waterways through the city, and a clean, friendly feeling around the city.  I was able to visit my good friend Brittany again.  We've been friends since middle school, and being able to share memories and stories, old and new, over martinis is something I love.

The first stop we made after the hotel was the Blue Man Group show.  Way better and funnier than I thought it would be.  One of the girls in our group got pulled up onto stage which made it even more entertaining.

Next stop was dinner.  More on dinner below.

Next stop was the liquor store.  And boy, did we need it.

The rest of the trip was stressful and awkward, to say the least.  We worked out of our Chicago office when we weren't in training, and their connection is s....l........o..............w.  It was also cramped.  And loud, as there's no carpet or curtains or fabric of any kind absorbing noise.  However, the people that work there are awesome, so, some saving grace.

What I will say to the dinner awkwardness - imagine having dinner with 8 people, 4 of whom run the company and are oblivious to how utterly angry the other 4 people are at the table because of the way the first 4 treat the second 4.  Now, imagine the most important person being slightly intoxicated.  And asking hard and opened questions.  Whose answers cause arguments that attract attention from surrounding tables.

Now, imagine looking forward to that every single night of your trip.

If you can imagine that, you can understand why I now will stop talking about my long ass business trip to Chicago.

Writing by Hand

I've been putting off writing this card for awhile now.  It's sitting on my coffee table; a response needs to be written to my old friend turned penpal.  I love writing to her, and getting responses.  How awesome is it when you get a handwritten card?

Problem is, when was the last time you hand wrote anything?

Do you know, they don't even really teach it in school anymore?  I read this interesting article about what learning handwriting means for children, and why it matters that its missing now from school.  Now, I've heard a lot about this subject and pretended to be able to argue why it matters.  Most of it is logical, you can't write, it's harder to read, it's harder to keep up in school.  English and grammer and proper form gets lost.  Doctors scripts are illegible...

But did you know?  It helps develop linear thinking!  And a bunch of other things (read the article for more details - I refuse to rehash it here)!

In school, did you ever notice how the cheerleaders all had that same way of writing?  And you could tell a boy's handwriting write off the bat?  It seemed there were a few different styles and you could match the person to the script immediately.  Funny how self expression comes out in writing, is it not?

I'm terrified for the future.  What are these kids learning?  How homogenous will our culture become?  If our technology suddenly fails, who will have the skills to survive?  What if future generations can't express themselves?

I'm well aware I'm crazy.  But it's something to think about.  And discuss.  And maybe do something about.

Bueller.    Bueller.       Bueller.      


Bueller.......

(Grand) Parents

I'm posting this from work.  But to be fair it's 6 p.m. and I'm supposed to go home at 5 p.m.  I'm just waiting for this thing.  This project thing.  It's like in college when you are the one putting together the final submission and one person in your group waits until the last minute.  Yea, that happens in real life too.  Only it's not their fault.  So I'm not mad.  I'm just hungry.

And really looking forward to Thanksgiving.

Guys, I have a niece.  I've been allergic to babies since I could have one, but this little bugger stole my heart. She's so freakin' cute and adorable.  All I want to do for those 4 days is hug her.  Although I'm pretty sure my mom will not let that happen.  She's obsessed.  It's the first grandchild - it's so weird to think of your mom as a grandma.  It's actually blowing my mind a little.  Every time I think about my parents being grandparents it makes me sad.

Sad for reasons I'm not going into right now because one of my bff's is coming in from New York today and we get to hang out for a few hours and I'm not ruining by being depress-y about my parents getting old!!!

But seriously, what is with all of this life change?

I called my mom on Saturday because I was having a lot of stomach issues.  In tears, I just wanted her help and advice.  When I was a teenager, I did not want anything to do with her advice and help.  Can you even imagine a world where you don't have your parents to bounce stuff off of?  I know some people don't, but for those of us that do, be extra grateful and make sure they know it at Thanksgiving.  Because let's face it, your mid-twenties suck and your parents have already done it.  They know more than we ever thought.

WEIRD HOW THAT TURNED OUT, EH?

Dreams

Last night, my work computer was stolen, I lost my contact 3 times, and I watched a piece of food fall out of a fat lady's rolls.

All while I was sleeping.

Lately, my dreams have been crazy.  The writer lady I met at the beach told me she uses her dreams as inspiration.  If I use my dreams, here are the books I will write:

1. Children's Book:  a water bottle who gets to go with his owner to the Olympics.
2. Thriller/Mystery Book:  four friends go to a bar in a building everyday after work.  The bartender mysteriously changes one day.  That day, two cleaning ladies are found dead in the bathroom they were cleaning.  The next day, someone sitting at the bar is murdered.  Each day, someone else disappears and the friends are desperate to figure it out before one of them dies.
3. Fiction:  There's an older couple living in a huge mansion with servants.  They take you in and tell you their servants are always 1/2 working, and they think their house will fall apart soon because they stopped trying to make money and are far to generous to fire these workers who have families and are, quite frankly, too dumb and unskilled to work anywhere else.  You, being the ever problem-solving person you are, realize the money making potential of a huge vintage closet you find upstairs....
4. YA Fiction:  At night, the grocery store comes alive.  There is a guy who writes one word on every cereal box in the joint, you have to go through all of them to figure out what he's saying.  There is a group of skater kids who fly through the aisles.  There's a gang of kids who hangs out telling ghost stories, while a gaggle of girls start a "no boys' allowed" club. 

I have so many more, too.  

Would you read any of these stories?

A lot of Short Stories...

Thoughts I didn't feel like/couldn't flesh out into full entries.....

It's November!!!  It's National Novel Writing Month, and the beginning of NaNoWriMo!!  Or, write a 50,000 word novel in a month event.  And this year, I'm participating! Writing a novel has always been on my bucket list, but in the back of my mind I had a sneaking suspicion it would never get done.  Novels seem difficult to write, and really time consuming.  I mean, do I have enough vocabulary words?  Do I have enough time?  What about a plot and all those run-on sentences?  It's not going to be perfect, what will people think?!?!

Silly fears.  Screw it, I'm doing it.  Besides, who spits out perfection in the first try?  I mean, the first time babies take a step, it usually looks funny and then they fall down.  But eventually, everyone masters coordinated walking.  Well, mostly everyone (rubs knee that just banged into door-frame)...


I met Bobbi!  Bobbi of Bobbi's hummus which is delicious, all natural, and gluten-free.  I first fell in love with her Black Bean Dip that my roommate Liz brought home.  Like so many other food products, I never really think about who was behind them or what the name on the label means.  I just yesterday made the connection between Paula and Jimmy Dean.  They're married, right?!  Should research that....

Right, back to the point.  So Bobbie is a really nice old lady.  She said everyone thought she was crazy for peeling so much garlic for all her hummus back in the '70s but that now business is really growing.  Clearly she loves what she does and I respect that.

And this is her giving me free hummus.

(Nope, not getting paid for this recommendation.  I just thought it was super cool to meet the lady on my label and that she was nice and gave me free stuff was endearing.)


I love Liz Lemon.  Slash Tina Fey.  Just because! Blerg!

Comedian Rob Delaney is suing Kim Kardashian.  And E!.  And Ryan Secreast.  And Comcast. By now, most know (and don't care) that Kim K's marriage to Kris Humpries lasted 72 days.  After getting paid to be in the wedding ceremony and accepting thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of dollars in donations via catering and dresses and whatnot, Delaney is calling out the wedding for being a sham.

Instead of fighting for monetary rewards, Delaney simply wants Kim and Kris to actually try.  Try to be married.  Try to get through the rough stuff that every marriage encounters.  Just try to allow the relationship to be real and imperfect.

While I know little about his legal stance, good for you Delaney.  Address the issue that marriage is hard and not all rainbows and butterflies.  Let people know that struggling is normal and that not everything in life is as easy as pulling out a credit card and clicking on a link.  Again, good for you.  I can't wait to see what happens.

Sister Wives

I’d heard a lot about this show, Sister Wives, but for some reason I put off watching it.  Polygamy?  Come on, everyone knows that’s gross and against the law.  Freaks.

Yea, guess that’s what people used to say about gays.  And people in interracial relationships.  And, oh….

Here was my view of polygamy.  Brigham Young.  Gross men.  Women who had cow shit for brains or who were being held against their will.  Children who were kind of brainwashed and exposed to promiscuous lifestyles.  Poor, dirty people who just didn’t know any better.  Outsiders to the community.  This was my preconceived notion from stereotypes picked up from the media or what people had said or alluded too.  I never really thought about it, mostly because I had never met a polygamist and never thought I would.  They were like a mythical creature that didn’t really exist.  But now there’s a TV show about them (so clearly they must be real)!

From the very beginning, I was utterly shocked and surprised.  The show is tastefully done and the people are genuine and open.  At the start there are three wives, one husband, and twelve kids.  They live in the same house, but everyone has different apartments with in the house, allowing for nuclear family connections, but also for whole family interactions.  Every mom plays a different role:  one works absurd hours, the other works and is studying to start another career and the third takes care of the household and the kids.  The dad is portrayed as a loving, caring man who is emotionally in-tune with each wife and takes incredible care of his kids.  He spends every night in a different apartment with a different wife, schedules dates and equally divides his time.  The wives all have a deep bond with each other and with their husband, as they have all been married to Kody for at least 16 years.

From the start the wives explain that polygamy is something they chose.  They wanted to be in a polygamist relationship and did not want to enter a traditional marriage or family.  They enjoy the company of the other wives and the relationship everyone shares.  The division of labor and the fact that their kids are always taken care of is something they take comfort in.  The moms are well spoken, intelligent  and so normal.

Kody, for his part, really works with each wife to make sure they are emotionally taken care of.  The whole clan does devote a good time talking about the intricacies of the relationships.  Everyone talks about their emotions and works out problems as a team.  They even said something like “all relationships are complex and take a lot of work to maintain.  This is the same thing.  A complex marriage doesn’t mean a complicated one.”

And the burning question everyone wants to know the answer to:  how do they manage sex?

The answer is, they just don’t think about it.

These girls are funny too.

Now, I’m not interested in ever being a part of a polygamist marriage (neither are some of their children – and everyone is truly okay with that) but this show really was an education on something I previously judged without any facts or experience.  I’m going to encourage people to watch it, if only to expand your mind into a place it probably hasn’t been before.  Just watch how the family interacts – the marriages are healthier than most monogamous people I know and their kids are just wonderfully taken care of and developed - it is amazing.

Just be prepared to get your closed mind blown to all kinds of open.