Are You Ready Yet?

This morning a kid from high school popped up in my newsfeed with a status update about a fetus.

Neil was always the kid in the back of the band room, getting in trouble for goofing off during rehearsal.  He was nerdy and smart, but silly.  His feet seemed too big and he would go from joking around to super serious in 2.3 seconds.  He was just a goofy kid.  I never thought that six years after graduating from high school, Neil would be updating the world about his unborn child that his wife is carrying.

A couple of nights ago, I had a conversation with my boo about buying a house.  He really wants to - with or without me - that has been his goal since college.  But I'm not ready to buy a house and he knows this.  So I will support and help him, but will have to get rid of my preconceived notions about what life is supposed to look like.  This conversation led to the talk of marriage and how I want to be ready, but am not.

(See how this conversation about him turned into a conversation about me?  I HAVE to stop doing that!)

I think this is part of what makes being in your mid-twenties so hard.  When you're growing up, you go to school, elementary, middle, then high school.  Then, you go to college - most of your friends do too. Everyone is in the same phase in life.  Then after college, you get a job or go to grad school.  Then what?  People start getting married and popping out kids.  That's what you're supposed to do, right?

It's worse with social media, because everyday you look at Facebook, you see these pictures of weddings and houses and babies.  It may just be the minority, but it's constantly there.  It makes me wonder if I should be doing these things, if I am behind somehow in the game of life.

I am 24 years old.  I am not behind.  I am doing just fine.  I am happy.  Enjoy the happy.  I have to keep reminding myself of this.  Truth be told, I am not ready for kids.  Marriage, well, I'll probably be ready sooner rather than later.  I think I need to get through being 25 first.  Grow up just a little more, see how I continue to change with the times.

Because when I think of Neil, and the years he will miss out on being young and without children, I get a little sad for him.  I'm excited he's having a baby if that's what he wants, but I just imagine him without any sleep, so tired of changing diapers and cleaning up spit up that he wonders what the hell he's doing with his life.  No more vacations to wherever without worrying about kids and diapers and food and the extra fare.  No more random drunken nights with friends being out until after 11.  Can't just take a kid into a theatre to watch the new Paranormal Activity or Batman.  No more just taking care of yourself and your significant other.  No more carefree times.

I am 24 years old.  I am not behind.  I am doing just fine.  I am happy.  Enjoy the happy.