Failure

I read an article that really stuck with me this week.  It was about failure and how hard we are on ourselves sometimes.  Whoever wrote it made a brilliant comparison between what we tell ourselves when we fail, and how we react to others' failures.  For instance, when a baby tries to talk, our normal reaction is "oh my goodness, you are so cute babbling along!" instead of "stupid baby, I can't believe you can't freakin' talk yet!"

For a long time, I've been struggling with weight.  In the past three weeks, I've lost 7 lbs. Then, I had a really great friend spend the weekend and I ate and drank whatever and proceeded to feel like a total fat failure.  In fact, I've viewed the past 7 years of dealing with weight has mostly a failure.  I did run a 1/2 marathon and I learned how to fight, but past that I've had a few good months but that's it.

Last night, with the article still tickling my neurons, I met up with some friends who haven't seen me in a long time.  I got the "you look great!" comment and immediately dismissed it.  C'mon people, can you not see I've been failing for 7 years!  Then I took a step back and decided to be a little nicer to myself and here is what I saw.

I started college as a size 22, so out of shape it was hard to walk up a hill, forget even walking a mile.  Since then, I've consistently gone down, albeit little by little.  I did run a half marathon, I've been in super good shape, and now I can run a mile and walk everywhere.  I am a size 16 now, I've taking responsibility for my eating habits and am making a very conscious effort to track calories, portion sizes and balance.  On Monday, I start at a gym again.

So taking that all into account, I guess I haven't really been failing.  Sure, my journey is not a fast one, no where near the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" and maybe no where near other people's.  But I'm not failing.

In the next four months, I'm going to focus on my mile time, my assisted pull-up weight and overall lb loss.  I made a calendar and am going to track those things weekly/bi-weekly.  My long term goals are a marathon, 40 lbs down and a pull-up by the end of November 2014.  I'll post updates now and then just to keep myself accountable and to remind myself that I'm not failing.

Because no one likes to fail, it's just a necessary part of life.  Without it, there can be no success.