PBR (and how the hipsters ruined it)

This scene has played out many times in my life, and across Philadelphia...

Dick: "Yo, let's play some beer pong. Let's pregame. Let's go out!" (throws fist in the air)

Jane: "Well, I don't have that much money."

James: "It doesn't matter. We'll bike to the store, get some PBR, then we can go to Oscar's that has a 22 oz of PBR for $2.50!"

Dick, Jane, James: "YEAH! GO PBR!"

Someone irrelevant: "PBR sucks balls."

Dick, Jane, James: "YEA, well you can drink whatever you want (gives crazy look that could be interpreted as a threat). GO PBR!"

That's because I hang around with a lot of hipster-esque people. And broke people. And people that live in Philly/college scene. And people who appreciate PBR for what it is - a hipster beer that is cheap and relatively good compared to what you'd expect for a beer that is the same price as a can of Coke.

Then those damn marketing people went and ruined a good thing.

NBC Headline: Pabst Blue Ribbon More Popular than Ever Now; Sorry, Hipsters.

Usually found smoking European cigarettes and/or cloves, hipsters are known for their despise of anything "mainstream" and their fondness for irony. They listen to bands that no one has ever heard of and start fashion trends that are cool because of their "uncoolness", e.g., trucker hats or vintage plaid shirts.

This is where Pabst Blue Ribbon comes in.

"It's an anti-establishment badge," said a major market wholesaler. "It seems to play to the retro, nonconformist crowd pretty well."

Hipsters enjoy drinking a beer that isn't as "established" as other better-known brands, asserting themselves are more "genuine" and "unique" than the mainstream that surrounds them.

They should be careful though. With the incredible rise in sales, Pabst Blue Ribbon could become so popular, it may enter the mainstream, and hipsters will have to abandon it in favor of another "cheap" beer.

Yes, I understand that the hipsters will give it up now that it has become popular. That's why they said "Sorry, Hipsters." But, I think PBR should think again. If it's really spreading, it will spread out past the hipsters, to people like me. And more importantly, older, wealthier versions of me. Price will jump again and PBR will have to be replaced.

And that's the scary part.

WHAT WILL THE HIPSTERS GO TO NEXT?!?!?!?!