Mo' Monies, Mo' Problems

I have so many ideas.

Yesterday as I was walking to work, I thought about commuting and how we should get paid for it.  See, I’m supposed to be at work at 8:30.  Quite frankly, that’s a little bit early for me.  On most days, like today, I spend an extra 10 minutes in bed, an extra 5 minutes in the warm shower, another extra 5 minutes critiquing my dress and changing, and then as I’m rushing to pour the coffee and pack my lunch the clock reads 8:25 and I have to look for my phone.  Which is nowhere to be found.  Because it is already in my bag.

That 20 extra minutes of nothingness eats up the 20 minutes I saved to walk to work.  So as I’m walking, I’m getting paid.  

And shouldn’t I be getting paid?  I mean, I’m either walking or cycling to work.  That’s GREAT for the environment and cuts down on traffic and parking for other city residents/employees.  Wait, shouldn’t everyone be getting paid to commute? I mean, we wouldn’t be using that time up if we didn’t have to get to our job…

Incentives.  We learned about them in B-school.  How are the ways one commutes to work?  Car, train, subway, bus, walk, cycle, sleepwalk…  So, we have driving in vehicles, walking/cycling, or taking public transit.  I’m sure there are other ways, but for simplicities sake, let’s just stick with these three.  

Driving

Let’s say people who drive get paid for gas and a small per mile rate for wear-and-tear and insurance.  HOLD IT.  You say that people would be willing to drive farther for work then, tearing up the environment and causing traffic jams and doing the total opposite of what the program is supposed to achieve?!?!

Just wait until you hear the rest of the idea!

Public Transit

Workers that take public transit get compensated for the fares plus extra money for taking a slightly more “green” route to work.  I didn’t think about how much compensation, but enough to make the car people jealous.  Maybe like $10 a week?

Walkers/Bikers

These people get the most money.  After all, besides crop dusting, they are causing the least amount of harm to the environment and also cutting down on traffic and tied-up parking.  I believe these people should get compensated (by a block = mile) at the same rate they would if they were driving.  Without the cost of driving, they make out the best.

And hence the people who are doing the least harm, both societal and environmental get paid for it.

Oh yes, there are many problems with this plan.  Whose gonna pay for it?  Why are we getting paid to commute?  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, I HAVE TO DRIVE AND IT’S NOT FAIR, DAMMIT.

It’s a theoretical plan.  Over time, the people that “have to drive” would either move closer or get a new job.  Local hires would be more prevalent, making the tax cuts some companies get for building in certain neighborhoods actually work for the community.  It’s not perfect, but does utopia exist?

On my imaginary private island it does!

[While I “get paid” to commute, I don’t take a lunch, so it makes up for it.  Not a slacker or dishonest worker, promise.]