What I Learned in College

1. Wikipedia is your best friend. I'm sitting in a Finance 301 class, looking up G-20 on Wikipedia, copying down information so I can make a presentation in 35 minutes in my next class, Political Science. Maybe it's lame that Wikipedia is my best friend, but it never talks back to me, gives me bad advice, or laughs at me for looking up stupid stuff like "orifice", so somehow I feel like we may be friends for a long time.
   
   
2. College's lie to you. A tour group just came into our lecture hall during our class break. Matheson 301 sits about 300 people. I've had about 5 classes in this lecture hall and this is the first one that has less than 250 people in it. As I'm reading the hilarious 2b1b post, I hear the tour guide say "you will NEVER have a class this big." This, my friends, is a lie. A downright lie. How can one say that you will NEVER do something. In my short life, I've figured out if I say "oh, I'll NEVER do this" I usually end up doing it, compromising my morals and usually my dignity. Example: "I'll never give out my phone number to random cab drivers that want to have unprotected sex with anything that has at least 1 leg and some kind of orifice." Yea, his name is Kevin and he is now blocked in my phone.
   
   
3. You don't have to be pretty to get free drinks. If you smile and have a little cleavage showing, you can get pretty much anything as long as you are not fugly. How do you know what you are on the fugliness scale? If you've ever gotten a free drink from someone you don't know, you are not fugly.

There is much more I have learned at my three years at university, but I shall save that for another time. For now, I must make my presentation on G-20 and the liberal political science standpoint of the global economy and fiscal responsibility. Fun fun!