So it's week six and I still have midterms to study for. My life has been hectic, but because I love Srav, and I also kind of like to write (even if it would be considered stupid by the aliens that will eventually find earth's remains, read this blog, and decide that we all had an underdeveloped sense of humor and an overdeveloped sense of self worth) stoop time has returned.
Luckily, I started working at a restaurant, and thanks to all those stupid drunk people out there, I have PLENTY of new material to talk about. I have also irrevocably proven that just 3 beers can make people think other people are about 10x more attractive. Here is my proof:
In my life, I've been hit on an average of about 5 times/year. Starting working at a bar, I get hit on 5 times/week. Now, keep in mind, I'm not 21, so I don't normally hang out at bars, so that might have something to do with it. Okay, so now the "logical" human brain says, "Andrea, this proves nothing. You are not logical. The reason you've been getting hit on is because you are at a bar, NOT just because of your 3 beer theory."
Sigh, Okay Logic, but listen here, most people in a bar have had three beers. And you haven't heard the best part yet. Let me paint a picture of what I ACTUALLY look like when I work. I have jeans on that are too big, a shirt that is also too big and not flattering at all. My hair is up, my makeup is either not on or is messy. I have a rag hanging on my hip that is dirty with wing sauce, ranch, bleu cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and probably puke. I'm COVERED in salt, sugar, and various forms of alcohol.
If the alcohol can erase all that, it's ugly people's best friend.
Til next time.
i love you an obscene amount.
ReplyDelete