Pumpkins and Jack-o-lanterns

Riddle for today: What do you get when you take the circumference of a pumpkin and divide it by its diameter? (Answer at the end of the post)

Halloween is swiftly approaching. A night of ghoulish ghosts, wicked witches, creepy costumes, mysterious medians, and plump pumpkins, usually carved and lit up.

So, why do we celebrate Halloween and carve pumpkins (endangering all 10 digits+the fingers of little kids who like to carve pumpkins too)?

Well, we used to celebrate because it was the end of summer. The deceased used to come back and feel welcomed, and the evil was kept away by a multitude of tricks, including the jack-o-lantern. But, pumpkins are indigenous to America, so back-in-the-day, before America (yes, there was a time when "America" didn't exist), they carved lanterns out of gourds or turnips or potatos. Well, those must have been some smaaallll faces cuz turnips and potatoes don't get very big, and most gourds are just funny shapes (Srav: think kidney, after it hits the floor AND gets stepped on). Anyway, once the Native American's were taken care of, people found the pumpkin and decided to carve it.

Now, when picking a pumpkin, you wanna get a medium sized pumpkin that is orange. Der-der-der. Round or up and down. If you wanna get fancy, use a stencil! There is also a toolbox if you really want to be professional about it. It includes gutting spoons, knives, and grease pencils (almost the same as a deer-gutting toolkit?).

There are also ways to make the pumpkin stay better. These include lubing up the pumpkin after it is cut with Vaseline, and soaking it in water overnight.

The pumpkin will die however, as all things do, and what should you do with it after? Well to show love, respect, and devotion for a piece of fruit, you should bury it and say a short little eulogy like this:

We are gathered here to pay homage
to our dearly departed Jack O' Lanterns.
Through out there short lives our Halloween Pumpkins
have brought both us and our Trick or Treaters much joy.
We now consign them to the earth where they first came.
May They Rest in Peace

Come on. Seriously. It's just a pumpkin. Freakin' carve it and try not to cut off any fingers.

Riddle Answer:
Pumpkin Pi

Sounds delicious!

[Not quite as delicious as Pi Day tho ;)]