Story Part Two: Possums and Raccoons

Part Two:

MJ went to college and two years later moved in to an awesome house. In this awesome house, there are two back doors. Also, in this awesome house's backyard, raccoons tend to hang around because they are garbage eating mongrels. In MJ's opinion, raccoons are just as evil, vindictive, ugly, and slightly terrifying as possums.

One night, MJ and her new roommate, Charlie (also a female, FYI), were watching "Idle Hands" in the living room (of the awesome house). "Idle Hands" is a funny stoner/kinda scary genre of movie. MJ, being a girl who does not ever and has not ever enjoyed or watched scary movies, was a little on edge.

ALL OF THE SUDDEN, at probably the scariest part of the movie, MJ jumps at a sound behind her. One of the back doors is rattling. Charlie says "whats that?!" with a look resembling some kind of terror. MJ goes "it sounds like someone's trying to get in!"

The fastest they've moved since coming to college, Charlie and MJ bolt up the stairs with MJ yelling "REGINALD, THERE'S NOISES...SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE'S TRYING TO GET IN!!"

Reginald comes out of his bedroom looking somewhat pissed, tired, and has a look on his face that clearly says 'WTF do these girls want from me?! I'm busy dammit.' The girls exclaim "Reginald, there's a noise, it sounds like someone's trying to get into the living room of this awesome house!"

"Fine, let me put a shirt on at least, I can't get fight marks on my beautiful, manly chest."

So the trio goes downstairs with Reginald at the front. First, he looks out the window and doesn't see anything. Then, as the girls follow him to the other back door, of the awesome house, there is a not-so-awesome, gigatic, fat, lazy, gross raccoon waiting for him. Reginald bravely jumps back from the door, scaring MJ and Charlie to death.

Reginal asks, "its just a raccoon, why didn't you just look out the window?" The girls replied that they were too scared, after all, the awesome house is located in West Philly. Charlie admired the raccoon and babbled about how cute it was, while Reginald just shook his head and wondered how he came to live with two such girls. MJ made threats to borrow Billy Bob's .22 and shoot all the stupid raccoons that ever came back to eat her trash. She thought about how disgusting, fat, lazy, scavengeous, agile, and slightly terrifiying raccoons are. And the worst part was, she lived on the second floor of the awesome house. Which was where the raccoons were climbing towards, knocking against the back door.

...to be continued...