Say what you want

I’ve been reading a lot of articles lately, in the name of procrastinating of course! It never ceases to amaze me how certain things keep popping up. For instance, if you learn something, you keep hearing about it from different people.

Anyway, this is the third time I’ve heard this mentioned, in about as many days, so I figured it was a sign I should share it!

The first article was about wanting things. So, “I want sex” is something that the wife didn’t want to tell her husband. She worked SO hard at giving subtle hints – like lacey lingerie, certain toys, and of course, a few choice phrases. The husband didn’t get the point. Ironic. The author of the article wanted to know why we just wouldn’t say when we wanted something. She suggested that fear of rejection and fear of what people would think gets in the way. The example used was about two moms running for PTA president. One mom really wanted the job. So she campaigned, hung up flyers, socialized, did everything she could. The author didn’t even know who the other mom was, so obviously she didn’t do anything for the job. The first mom didn’t get elected. Others thought of her as pushy, simply because she was going after what she wanted. The second mom won – the author still doesn’t know who she is.

The second article is from http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/09/o.eternal.question/index.html

Here is the excerpt I like:
“One rainy afternoon, not so long ago, I ran into a long-lost buddy from my days in advertising. It had been almost 25 years since we'd spoken. I'd gained some weight and he'd lost some hair. We ducked into a little coffee shop to dry off and catch up. He showed me a picture of his wife and kid and told me that the three of them spend summers in Paris. "We just get completely immersed in the culture."
I showed him a picture of Julia and Johannes (that would be my boyfriend for those of you who've managed to miss my last 735,000 columns) and told him that the three of us summer in my bedroom. "We just get completely immersed in the air-conditioning."

And then it happened: "I always had a little thing for you," he said. And, my friends, I'm not proud of what I'm about to tell you, but here it is: I actually looked behind me to see who he was talking to. "Wait, you mean me? Me? The woman who helped pick out everything from long-stem tulips to La Perla lingerie for your many, many girlfriends? You had a thing for me?"

I asked him why he neglected to speak up all those years ago. If this were a movie, here's the part where he'd reveal some incredibly dramatic secret -- "The truth is, I was a CIA operative only posing as an account executive. In my heart I knew that you were the one girl I'd be tempted to blow my cover for, and if I did that, my angel, well, we'd all be speaking Chinese right now." But this is not a movie -- he thought for a minute, shrugged, and answered, "You know, I honestly can't remember."”

Funny thing is, just the other day, I heard a similar story from an adult who is now married with children. The story varied slightly, as the man and her still keep in touch to this day, but it is very much the same story.

So, sometimes I just have to wonder…is it really worth saying what you want? Would it change life THAT much? And why don’t we do it?

That is the question for the day. Spend two minutes thinking about it. And there’s your five minute mental break for the day.