Sister Wives

I’d heard a lot about this show, Sister Wives, but for some reason I put off watching it.  Polygamy?  Come on, everyone knows that’s gross and against the law.  Freaks.

Yea, guess that’s what people used to say about gays.  And people in interracial relationships.  And, oh….

Here was my view of polygamy.  Brigham Young.  Gross men.  Women who had cow shit for brains or who were being held against their will.  Children who were kind of brainwashed and exposed to promiscuous lifestyles.  Poor, dirty people who just didn’t know any better.  Outsiders to the community.  This was my preconceived notion from stereotypes picked up from the media or what people had said or alluded too.  I never really thought about it, mostly because I had never met a polygamist and never thought I would.  They were like a mythical creature that didn’t really exist.  But now there’s a TV show about them (so clearly they must be real)!

From the very beginning, I was utterly shocked and surprised.  The show is tastefully done and the people are genuine and open.  At the start there are three wives, one husband, and twelve kids.  They live in the same house, but everyone has different apartments with in the house, allowing for nuclear family connections, but also for whole family interactions.  Every mom plays a different role:  one works absurd hours, the other works and is studying to start another career and the third takes care of the household and the kids.  The dad is portrayed as a loving, caring man who is emotionally in-tune with each wife and takes incredible care of his kids.  He spends every night in a different apartment with a different wife, schedules dates and equally divides his time.  The wives all have a deep bond with each other and with their husband, as they have all been married to Kody for at least 16 years.

From the start the wives explain that polygamy is something they chose.  They wanted to be in a polygamist relationship and did not want to enter a traditional marriage or family.  They enjoy the company of the other wives and the relationship everyone shares.  The division of labor and the fact that their kids are always taken care of is something they take comfort in.  The moms are well spoken, intelligent  and so normal.

Kody, for his part, really works with each wife to make sure they are emotionally taken care of.  The whole clan does devote a good time talking about the intricacies of the relationships.  Everyone talks about their emotions and works out problems as a team.  They even said something like “all relationships are complex and take a lot of work to maintain.  This is the same thing.  A complex marriage doesn’t mean a complicated one.”

And the burning question everyone wants to know the answer to:  how do they manage sex?

The answer is, they just don’t think about it.

These girls are funny too.

Now, I’m not interested in ever being a part of a polygamist marriage (neither are some of their children – and everyone is truly okay with that) but this show really was an education on something I previously judged without any facts or experience.  I’m going to encourage people to watch it, if only to expand your mind into a place it probably hasn’t been before.  Just watch how the family interacts – the marriages are healthier than most monogamous people I know and their kids are just wonderfully taken care of and developed - it is amazing.

Just be prepared to get your closed mind blown to all kinds of open.

What happens before 7:30

I'm not a morning person.  Ask my long time roommate who knows not to speak to me in the morning and who, if he hears a "hmmphrmp" come out of my mouth, knows that means "good morning, hope you have a wonderful day, I'm going to drink my coffee now and continue ignoring any living breathing thing except for this damn cat that expects me to feed it and won't stop meowing or touching me until it has food in its bowl."

Yes, I am THAT good of a communicator.  A whole sentence in one non-vowel-ed word.

Today, I had the pleasure of waking up before 7 a.m. so that I could walk to the trolley, get home, dress, pack lunch and coffee, and get to work.  Oddly, I didn't mind the early hour so much.  I believe it was because the city was still asleep.  The only people out were food industry workers slowly opening up coffee shops, or the very few early morning dog walkers.  No morons.  No kids.  No homeless people asking me for change, or idiots asking for directions.  No tourists crossing the streets at the wrong time.  No horns blaring at the terrible city drivers.  No PPA people yelling or getting yelled at.  No music blaring or sirens screaming.

Just me, my music, and relative silence.

And my thoughts.

Which were scarce.  But one completely relevant.  When I was little, I used to wish that I was a boy.  No period, no icky emotions, no dresses, no doubts about sporting abilities, no awkward "you have to wear a bra now" talk and shopping trip...  But now, I'm glad to be a woman, I mean, we are clearly superior.  Right?!

Except that one thing.  Why can men fall back asleep so quickly!?!  Today I woke up at 6:00 am freaking out about where my phone was because I clearly hadn't heard my alarm go off yet.  The bf woke up, goes "are you okay" and immediately falls back asleep when it's clear I'm okay, just being nuts.  And I lay awake for the next hour, barely dosing off.  My mind is running in a million different directions, a main one being "wtf I am so pissed off that I'm awake right now". 

And again when my alarm actually goes off.  Bf just rolls over, keeps sleeping.  After I say goodbye, I wasn't concerned at all that he was lying awake because his stupid girlfriend just woke him the hell up.  Nope, out like a light I'm sure for the next hour.  (Which makes me happy, really.  Just b/c I have to get up early doesn't mean someone else shouldn't be allowed to sleep.)

And this isn't the first man I've known able to do this.  Constantly amazes me.  I wish I could bottle up that ability to just snooze and sell it.  I'd be a millionaire.

And as I proceeded down the trolley steps, SEPTA interrupted my thoughts and ruined the quiet pleasant morning.  But then again, SEPTA pretty much ruins everything.

Weekend Paradox

On Sunday morning I came home and realized that I had only just said goodbye to my dear old med-school friend the day before.  But it seemed like it had been a few days ago.  However, now it is already Monday and I'm trying to find the perfect poop time at work. 

How does the weekend always do that?  Seem so long, but yet so short?

I mean, come on.  Friday was great and then it was Saturday.  My mind got that one day transition.  Then on Sunday, I ended up ruminating how it was just yesterday that I said goodbye to my dear old friend AND took boxing lessons.  But it seems like eons ago.  At least a few days went by in-between Saturday and Sunday, right?!

But it is already Monday; and what a Monday indeed.  I came in early to proctor an exam.  Apparently these students, who all must have a bachelor’s degree before coming into this program, have “never taken a test that isn’t multiple choice”.  Excuse me.  No, I am not joking that this is a short answer exam.  No, I have no idea how long each answer should be because I have no idea what you are studying.  And no, I don’t think she’ll mind if you draw charts to help solidify your answers.  Yes, if the professor can’t read it, it will be wrong.  Now, my question to you, “what the hell is wrong with you people?”  I would have failed them all immediately for not being able to take a short answer test.

Alas, their grade is not up to me (probably good for them considering they were the reason I was awake before 7 am).  So Monday continues and hopefully this week will be full of good things.  I think it will be.  If my awesome poop timing is any indicator!

[Come on, EVERYONE who has worked knows, you should poop at work because you get paid for it.  And, finding the perfect timing when no one is in the bathroom/sees you when you leave a stinky stall is the best.]

Anyone doing anything fun this week? Got any good links to waste my time?!

Mo' Monies, Mo' Problems

I have so many ideas.

Yesterday as I was walking to work, I thought about commuting and how we should get paid for it.  See, I’m supposed to be at work at 8:30.  Quite frankly, that’s a little bit early for me.  On most days, like today, I spend an extra 10 minutes in bed, an extra 5 minutes in the warm shower, another extra 5 minutes critiquing my dress and changing, and then as I’m rushing to pour the coffee and pack my lunch the clock reads 8:25 and I have to look for my phone.  Which is nowhere to be found.  Because it is already in my bag.

That 20 extra minutes of nothingness eats up the 20 minutes I saved to walk to work.  So as I’m walking, I’m getting paid.  

And shouldn’t I be getting paid?  I mean, I’m either walking or cycling to work.  That’s GREAT for the environment and cuts down on traffic and parking for other city residents/employees.  Wait, shouldn’t everyone be getting paid to commute? I mean, we wouldn’t be using that time up if we didn’t have to get to our job…

Incentives.  We learned about them in B-school.  How are the ways one commutes to work?  Car, train, subway, bus, walk, cycle, sleepwalk…  So, we have driving in vehicles, walking/cycling, or taking public transit.  I’m sure there are other ways, but for simplicities sake, let’s just stick with these three.  

Driving

Let’s say people who drive get paid for gas and a small per mile rate for wear-and-tear and insurance.  HOLD IT.  You say that people would be willing to drive farther for work then, tearing up the environment and causing traffic jams and doing the total opposite of what the program is supposed to achieve?!?!

Just wait until you hear the rest of the idea!

Public Transit

Workers that take public transit get compensated for the fares plus extra money for taking a slightly more “green” route to work.  I didn’t think about how much compensation, but enough to make the car people jealous.  Maybe like $10 a week?

Walkers/Bikers

These people get the most money.  After all, besides crop dusting, they are causing the least amount of harm to the environment and also cutting down on traffic and tied-up parking.  I believe these people should get compensated (by a block = mile) at the same rate they would if they were driving.  Without the cost of driving, they make out the best.

And hence the people who are doing the least harm, both societal and environmental get paid for it.

Oh yes, there are many problems with this plan.  Whose gonna pay for it?  Why are we getting paid to commute?  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, I HAVE TO DRIVE AND IT’S NOT FAIR, DAMMIT.

It’s a theoretical plan.  Over time, the people that “have to drive” would either move closer or get a new job.  Local hires would be more prevalent, making the tax cuts some companies get for building in certain neighborhoods actually work for the community.  It’s not perfect, but does utopia exist?

On my imaginary private island it does!

[While I “get paid” to commute, I don’t take a lunch, so it makes up for it.  Not a slacker or dishonest worker, promise.]