Melatonin and the Circadian Cycle

Working at the restaurant has completely messed up my sleep cycle. It is currently 4:30 a.m. Recently, I've been waking up between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m., doing a bunch of homework, then going back to sleep. I mean, there's not much to do at 4 a.m., not a lot of distractions, and if I'm wide awake I might as well be up doing the work I don't have time to do otherwise.

Now the questions is, do I want to take melatonin or some other sleep aid to help me out? For now, I think the answer is no. For one thing, I put enough shit into my body, I don't think another hormone is a good idea. For another thing, if I didn't have random bursts of energy at 4 a.m., I might not be able to handle life.

Now, to share something I found rather hilarious. Lyla, Liz, and myself hung out the other night in an epic tale of awesomeness (not that anything extraordinary happened, but we are pretty much the shiznit). We happened to purchase pineapple soda to mix with vodka from the corner (ghetto) store. I pulled it out of the refrigerator.

So obviously, looking at the bottle I was like "Cool, Large 2 Liter. What makes it large?" I looked on the labeling, saw that the bottom said 2 Liters (67.6 fluid oz). So, I was confused, and I told Liz and Lyla that.

Then I turned the bottle about 45 degrees clockwise.

BAHAHAHAHAHA. It's 100% more than a 1 Liter. BAHAHAHAHA. Makes TOTAL sense now. That's why it's a "big" 2 liter. I feel like the pineapple soda had a little issue with it's size, so it compensated by using different labeling. I like it, it's a lot more productive than a lot of other over-compensating...did I just say tha...wha???

[And now an apology to my two biggest blog fans for rehashing exactly what happened the other night. To be fair, I warned you. XOXO]

In other news, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO TO CHILE FOR FREE!!! I'm trying not to be super excited about this prospect but I totally am. If I get picked, I get to spend a week in Santiago blogging about life, for free. Yes. I am stoked. Let's see, one week working at the restuarant vs. one week in Chile. Blogging. For free. And drinking. Lots. For free. And taking pictures. For free. It's like they are offering a deal tailored specifically to me. Free booze, food, nice hotel, warm weather, and all for the small price of blogging. Which I love doing anyway. Bring it on. Here's to hoping.

Currently the weather is snowy - and Nelly is my only distraction. Isn't she adorable?

Or she would be adorable if you could see ANY picture of her where her entire body didn't look like a giant black blob.

Off to finish my homework and then go to bed. I'm pretty sure Economics will put me to sleep, if writing about the European Union doesn't do the trick.

Random Thoughts

1. I'm really superduper hungry.

2. I'm superduper bored. In class. What IS he talking about? I have no idea but this International Business homework will be done soon.

3. Should bring laptop to class more often. Good distraction tool. And it looks like I'm taking notes.

4. I like snow. Especially when it doesn't stick to the ground. I mean, come on, it's better than rain.

5. My second day off this week, working for the next 4 days in a row is gonna suck. But I'll have money to fuel my alcoholism.

6. It's sad that my favorite blogger got fired from her job because she blogged about it constantly. But, her job sucked and I'm happy for her. I even trekked to Washington DC to meet her. Secretly glad I got on the wrong bus and didn't make it because I think it would've been weird to be like "HEY, I just came from Philly to meet you. Now I'm gonna be awkward and hang out in a corner with my half-price beer and my new 2b1b sticker which I will cherish forever."

7. I love my darker hair. Next rainy day, I'm totally doing it again.

8. I hate when corporate comes to our local restaurant. I could've left at 2:00 a.m. instead of 2:45 a.m. this morning, except the effin dude from corporate would not stop drinking and got drunk and would've yelled if we did last call early, even though there were NO CUSTOMERS left. What an asshat. He also yelled at me for pulling the straw wrappers off the straws because "your hands are dirty."

9. Do you know how many things are dirty in that restaurant. My hands will touch multiple "clean" pieces of silverware, we literally just wash glasses with hot water, there are fucking mice EVERYWHERE, someone found a bucket of mold chillin' out in a refrigerator, and my hands will touch every effin, gd tortilla chip that people eat. And when he yelled about me about the straws I thought of all of this. And instead of making an argument and inevitably making life harder for everyone, I said "blokay" and continued pulling off all of the straw wrappers. Fire me. Do it. I dare you.

10. I still have no idea what the professor is talking about.

11. I may get a free weeklong trip to Chile in 3 weeks. Go me.

12. This homework needs to get done. I wonder if I could pay someone.

13. THAT guy is in Atlantic City for a few days, and after another weekend (emotional) roller-coaster ride I'm over it. Obviously I still care and do not mind making the occasional(ly frequent) hotel stay-over but I'm over wanting a relationship. Thank goodness. It's just not me, especially when there's no future involved.

14. The other day he waited to meet me after class and got a $26 parking ticket. Oh, sweet irony.

15. I promise a better, more coherent and paragraph full post later, when I don't feel like a braindead, overworked, hungry, hungry hippo.

16. 30 minutes left to not pay attention and do my homework. Good luck.

Mumford and Sons

Music is awesome. You can hit pause, play, skip, and repeat whenever you want. Oh, if only all of life was like that.

My best friend Pogo downloads all my music. He is my music guru, my music muse if you will. Every couple of months or so, he throws about five albums my way he thinks I'll like. Since I spend the majority of my time at class or work (this week 46 hours of work, 19 hours of class, 5-ish hours of homework) I can only handle so much at a time, and I sure as heck don't have time to filter through all the crap by myself.

Currently I am about halfway through listening to the "Sigh No More" album by Mumford and Sons. I really, really, really like it. After a few passive listenings, I needed to actually listen to it. So I'm sitting here at 3:01 a.m. after work listening to the album and reading the lyrics. Beautiful. Heartfelt. Awesome.

And because of my current relationship status, which is as usual complicated (to say the least), the lyrics are even more meaningful.

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
At my heart you see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Not saying that I was or am in love. But, I have been thinking a lot lately about the distinct lack of truly loving relationships in my life. I mean, I'm in college, people are flaky, and with no significant other or strong family relationships - I'm pretty much just existing. Don't get me wrong, I feel very blessed to have five "best" friends. But...something is lacking. Maybe I need a hobby or I need to volunteer somewhere. I don't know, but I'll figure it out.

ANYWAY. It's my new jam.

Moving on, chatroulette? Have you heard of this?!?! It's crazy! My friends at work get drunk and go on this site that randomly connects you to other people via a webcam session. You can hit "next" at any time and connect to a new person. Apparently it's mostly men, some penises, some pedophiles, boobs, creeps, drunks, and druggies. But, it has endless possibilities for idle or drunk people. I don't think I could handle it alone, but in a group it might be a lot of fun.

I'm going to leave you with this. Lady Gaga's Poker Face, done as an ice skating routine = awesome.

Here's to a good week. Slainte.

So About That Tip

It never ceases to amaze me. The people that go out to eat and fail to leave a tip over 10%. A lot of servers in Philly bitch about tips less than 20% because we are spoiled. Philly is the highest tipping city in America. 20% is a norm. However, the clientel that my restaurant brings in are the scum of this earth...so our average tip is about 15% - which means we either get screwed or we get 40%.

Let me explain...

Many people who have never worked in a restaurant just don't know how it works. Servers get paid $2.85 an hour, or something similar (at most restaurants - some pay a living wage which is more around $7/hr, but those are few and far between). Servers usually get tipped on the sale amount, including specials, and tip out on the gross amount which doesn't include the special price.

Again, let me explain...

There's a host that seats the tables, the busser who busses the tables, and the bartender that gives the people their drinks. All servers have to tip out these people on the gross amount, not the sale amount. That means that if someone leaves a 10% tip on a happy hour or special price, the server just paid to serve that table. Yea, they just lost money. Don't believe me? That's fine. It's still true.

Moving on.

There are certain stereotypes about tipping. Indian's will tip 10% or less. Asians (unless they are mob-type ballers) will tip 10% or less. Ghetto people will tip 10% or less. College students will tip 15% on the sale price. The people that say "you are the BEST server we've ever had, thank you so much" will tip less than 15%. All of these people we pay for time and time again so they can have their water with no ice, hot tea, and Corona with grenadine. It's not fair. These people are annoying, they are mean, and we PAY to serve them. WTF.

Of course there are exceptions, but as soon as you walk up to a table, you know. And later, when you pick up the checkbook, you just cringe at the thought of looking at the tip, because you lose your soul over and over again.

Tonight was just one of those nights.

I pulled a 14 hour shift. Many of my tables tipped less than 10%. One left and was like "OH MAN, GO GET YOUR TIP!" They left me 8%. And sadly, I knew they were going too. Another table paid and left 9%. They later asked me to call a cab. I asked them if they could hail one and the lady goes "they don't stop for us" (it was really sad - they were black). So I called the cab company I use, caught them a cab, and went outside to meet it and hold it for them. The lady gave me another $5 which brought their tip up to 18%. Thank goodness, because that was going above and beyond the call of a server.

All in all, I did pretty well considering how little work I did and how mean I was to most of my tables, but it was just one of those nights.

After work I ran to the neighboring bar to order the entire staff beers 5 minutes before last call. With 7 beer and 3 shots in front of me, I was faced with a $24.50 bill (yea, restaurant worker discount!!! They charged us for 3 beers and one shot) which we paid $55 for. I then caught a cab to ride the 6 blocks home since there have been many muggings in the area recently and I had more than a $100 cash on me. I gave the guy $10 for a $4 cab ride with the parting words...

"Next time you're at a restaurant, tip well."

With many thanks and a "be safe now, ya hear?" he drove away.

Remember - tip well. Those people are humans too - they have bad days, they have to pay bills too.

It's just good karma!!

Now, go out, have a drink, it's only Monday, but you may need it!

Motivation

Yesterday in my management class, you know, the one that's my major, we watched a video from the 70s or 80s. Usually, I fall asleep, skip, and am utterly unprepared for class. I just can't care, and I'm smart, and being smart and apathetic is a very dangerous combination.

However, this video reminded my why I'm in school for entrepreneurship/business. It was Russell Ackoff talking about Bell Laboratories. Back in the '50s he was visiting a friend who was a section leader for Bell. The friend tried to call him to tell him not to come down for the day, but Ackoff ended up going to the office and following his friend to a huge meeting that revolutionized the way Bell Laboratories did business, and ALSO revolutionized the telephone.

The VP of the company decided to do an idealized re-design. Basically, he told everyone that the telephone system of the United States had been destroyed, and in the next year they would redesign it with only two restraints: it must be technically feasible and operationally viable.

And this guy, who didn't even work at Bell Labs helped develop the telephone as we know it in 1951. They developed push buttons, caller ID, hold functions, speaker phone, cell phones, everything. Everything we've seen in a phone and things we have yet to see in a phone, all developed in 1951.

This is something I can get excited about. Not telephones exactly, but helping do something that is so vital to everyone's life. Think about the creative aspects involved. The possibilities, the fun that business could be.

And the bragging rights.

I need some motivation to get through the next two terms. And I just found it.

Update: Life

So, it's been a week, and a Valentine's Day, since I posted about THAT GUY. Ughhhh. This is why I hate posting about my personal life - everyone loves it, but everyone wants an update.

So here is how I spent V-day.

I made $123 at the restaurant being weeded (that means running around like a chicken with my head cut off) for 6 hours. Could've been worse, could've been better.

After that, I saw my best friend Pogo after his week-long cruise, and hung out with Liz for the remainder of V-day. Couldn't asked for a better one if I do say so myself. A little bit (or a lot) of rum later, I'm down for a blog update.

But I may be only able to say: I only like you when you give me cookies...

THAT GUY said no, but actions prove otherwise. I've had a wonderful happy six days otherwise, and I'm cool with continuing the non-relationship, as it were. Relationships freak me out anyways, and if I'm happy, then so be it!! Everyone should be happy.

Since then, I've been contemplating a hobby. I was going to start drawing people, but instead, me and a friend are gonna start a business. Too early to jinx it, but I'll let you in on details if it comes to fruition. First step in becoming a millionaire!!

Happy V-day. May everyone find love in friends, if not in lovers.

Different Sort of Culture

As promised, stuff went down last night at the restaurant. My fellow busser got punched, an employee fell down the stairs, someone knocked the host stand over onto the stick-thin-pin of a hostess, and a general shit show ensued.

But, the most mind-blowing thing happened at the very beginning of my shift. Usually the stereotype of a Mexican restaurant is that there are immigrant Mexican workers somewhere, if not in the front of house staff, then hidden in the back as dishwashers and cooks. I don't buy it, Mexican people cooking Mexican food....

Anyway, this is not the case at Mad Mex. The front of house is almost completely Caucasian, there is one Mexican dishwasher, one dishwasher from another country (he hasn't learned enough English yet for us to get to know him, but he's really nice!), and the rest of the BOH (back of house for those that don't work in the service industry) staff are split 50-50 between ghetto and no-so-ghetto. Don't get me wrong, they're all really nice, but ghetto still.

I was grabbing ice and I hear the dishwasher Charles, and a line cook Jay talking. Charles has a crush on me, but he's at least 15 years older than me (haha, I know, hasn't stopped me before) and has fathered at least 3 kids with another on the way.

Anyway, Charles goes "oh man, I use a condom 'til I know the girl really well, like 3 or 4 months." Just let it sink in. 3 or 4 months. Know her. Really well. Enough to allow her to bug you for child support for the next 19 years. Or to give you the HIV. Or clamidia.

[Sidenote: Downside to using Google as a spell check - it now looks like I searched for clamidia]

Jay turned to me and was like "yo gurl, what about you?" I looked at him with a look of utter amazement and was like "NEVER." He goes "WHAT?!?!, NEVER?!?!?! You never use a condom?" "NOOOO, I ALWAYS DOOOO and ALWAYS WILL. NEVER WITHOUT ONE. I don't want no kids, and I don't want no diseases!!!"

I immediately left the kitchen, mortified and reeling in socioeconomic thoughts.

Can't wait to work again in 3 1/2 hours!

Back to Real Life

The past two days involved a lot of snow and a lot of unproductivity - thank goodness. I totally needed the break.

But now, back to real life. Too much to do today, and too little time. I have to wear my work clothes all day because my life is packed from 11:30-4, work is at 4 until 3. I'm picking up a marathon work schedule and my life is jam packed until Tuesday, when I take those two midterms I missed this past Thursday.

Luckily, I have this sitting in front of my house to remind me how great those snow days were.

Also, it is supposed to snow again on Monday.

I promise that something will happen tonight that I can blog about this weekend. I mean, it's Valentine's Day weekend and my shitty little restaurant is having a great special. Who takes their date to a Mexican joint with $6 burritos for a 3 course Valentine's Day meal? Exactly. This should be great....

I Broke the Seal

So, today is a snow day. Or maybe it is a precursor to a snow day. Regardless, I did my best to make sure that I visited the liquor store. To the excitement of my roomies.

AND SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. The line was hella long.

I already broke the seal. Moved on from a bottle of wine with Liz, to a handle of vodka that hopefully will last til tomorrow.

Snow days = hot chocolate, liquor, sleep, movies, trashy TV, no work, schoolwork, lots of food, lots of chocolate, a lot of venting, and some catching up on household chores. And of course, sledding.

Can't wait.

Until then, here are some photos from the already snowed-in Philadelphia landscape.

Extremely Rare

Like most girls, I have a self-confidence issue. Mine pertains mostly to the whole "no one would wanna sleep/date/makeout a lil with me" ordeal, rather than the "I always look like crap" or the "I won't eat because someone called me fat" or the "I can't hang because I think I'm dumb, boring, and ugly." Or maybe I'm just naive. Based on my past experience, I'm probably just really naive.

Over the past year, things have changed a lot for me though. I've had multiple hookups, a bf or two, and someone crushing on me. However, being a typical crazy girl, I didn't really "get it" until the other day at work when I had a conversation with a regular.

A bartender at work really wants to sleep with me. We always make inappropriate jokes towards each other, and the regular (Nate) always hears it. The other day I told Nate: you know, it's all in good fun, but he really does wanna sleep with me. And Nate responded: I don't blame him. Wtf?!?! Really?!?! People see me in this light?!?! Weird.

That day me and the bartender both got off work early and decided to go to a local Irish pub for a few drinks. Luckily, we met my roommate Liz on the way, who decided to join us. This provided me with a much needed safety blanket. We all had a great time, and, per usual, I awkwardly paid for nothing. But, per usual, our tab was a fraction of what it should've been, so I don't feel as bad I do normally.

The entire time I could only think about "THE TALK" that was looming with another man. Everyone's been there and I've been here twice. The first time I had to have the talk with a man, it wasn't as big of a deal because I knew we would easily stay friends, and I also knew exactly what would happen. For those of you wondering what "THE TALK" entails...long story short, I've been with this guy for 9 months now, and the past 4 have made some sort of emotional attachment/relationship develop. Now I like him and he likes me. So we have to make a conscious decision to move on or stop. There's no in-between. There's either a dreaded relationship or the end of a really great situation.

We had the talk last night. It took me three weeks to decide that I actually want to continue this relationship, continue being happy. Now, I have to wait for him to decide if that's also what he wants. I hate this. I have to wait. And I'm not at all sure about the outcome.

So the weekend will be devoted to restraining my texting, hanging out with friends, drinking beer as the snow falls, and just waiting. Waiting for someone who has become a huge part of my life to decide whether he will continue to be a huge part of my life. Next week, I may have to figure out how to fill a void.

This is an extremely rare situation for me, and I am not at all enjoying it.

Cheers.

My Problem

I could surely make a list of my problems. A long one. But I prefer to stick to problems that I can fix. So, here is my current dilemma.

I HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A THREE YEAR OLD.

Literally. I've done tests. Four minutes. That's it. Unless I find something interesting. And even then, my attention span is four minutes. Whaaaaat???? How am I ever supposed to get this homework done if I can't pay attention to it for more than four minutes?!?!?! This is my current problem.

In fact, during the course of writing this blog I will have finished an assignment, started another one, switched my laundry, checked six other blogs, wished I could find enough time to wash my sheets, and a myriad of other things. And this is my blog. I should find it interesting enough to continue. But, every paragraph or so, I need a break. Which is my problem.

My roommate Liz posted a beautiful post about trying to worry less and be more zen in general. Lyla, promised me a zen book (of course it's hardcore and references monsters in the title) which will make me relax upon reading. How I can I read a book with a four minute attention span you ask?

There's the beauty in life. My four minute attention span doesn't apply to everything. I love books and can spend literally 5 hours JUST reading. Even if the TV's on. Even if music is on. Even if my phone is ringing off the hook. I can ignore EVERYTHING and JUST read. For HOURS.

How did I do well on the GMATs? True, it is a four hour test. That's about 236 minutes over my attention span. Let's just say I took measures to ensure my attention span would not wain. No, not drugs you fools. The questions change every minute or so, so the attention span was okay for that. But I did not take a break. Because I knew if I left that computer screen my focus would be shot. So I just sat there, stared, drooled, read, calculated, and prayed. Then I left. So much focusing has left me unable to function for the past few weeks.

But I digress, back to my original intent for this post. I miss the calm of the country. Liz posted some great pictures on her blog and I was reminded of the calm and content I felt amidst a great field of nothing with mountains in the background. I need that time to think. And I can't do that in the city. Maybe it is time to explore a little more for a zen spot. Not that I'll find it. But it should keep me occupied.