Non-Alcohol: A Problem?

I heard something interesting the other day. Burger King is going to start serving non-alcoholic mimosas. With a brunch menu.

I worked at BK for 4 years. I find this hilarious/annoying. If I was working at BK, I would be super annoyed. The non-alcoholic mimosas are OJ and Sprite. The point of fastfood is that it is fast. The employees have to be able to reproduce the same product over and over, very quickly.

So this is the problem I have with non-alcoholic mimosas. Sprite comes out of the soda fountain. Automatic stop, easy peasy. OJ does not come out of the soda fountain. It comes out of a carton. And there's a recipe. Not so good for the normal lowly educated worker. Unless they put together some pre-made stuff. Which WILL suck. Or kick off a soda fountain tab to add mimosa/OJ, which will still suck for the workers. I spare you the horrible details.

Moving on. This is hilarious because:

"The idea of Mimosas and brunch go hand in hand, and we thought it would be a clever and unique way to enhance our morning beverage offerings."

However, watchdog groups such as Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood and the Marin Institute -- which monitors the alcohol industry -- are not as pleased.

"This normalizes to children at a young age the idea that drinking is fine to do, and something we do everywhere," Michele Simon, the institute's research and policy director, told Brandweek.

BAHAHAHAHA. Hilarious. Teach kids early about alcohol. And condoms. Maybe they'll listen and grow up and use both.

We'll see if this idea does well. Read the full article here.

Alcohol: A Solution

Last night at The Pit (dingy, underlit, can-smoke-inside, after hours kind of bar) one of my coworkers said "I have something called a drinking problem." I responded in kind "It's more of a drinking solution."

Well maybe it's both.

Obviously, I did not update my blog. Go figure. Real life happened. And stuff. There was probably alcohol involved. Not gonna lie. Will do it soon. Soon being anywhere from tomorrow until three/six months from now. Eventually....we'll leave it at that.

In the meantime, I want to talk about my "connects". And dumb boys. I know, I know, how do these relate? Well....sit back, take a swig of rum, at let me tell you the story.

There's this new boy. And as always, my mouth will ruin it. NOT IN THAT WAY GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. My issue is I work with this boy, and I canNOT help but have mouth diarrhea constantly about him and how much I would love to.........well, ya know (you may now insert your mind back into the gutter) while I'm AT WORK. And he's there too. Unclassy, unprofessional, and I'm a little disturbed by myself. So I have made a pact to stop talking about him. Period. Done. Fin. At work. At the top of my lungs.

Anyway.

This boy has a tattoo. And we hung out the other night and ended up talking about tattoos. Luckily, my bfffffffffxinfinity works at a tattoo shop! Which mean I have a connection that he can make use of. That we can make use of together actually, which makes my end goal all the more attainable.

So now this boy thinks I have a lot of connections. He brings up a good point. I know a lot of people, I meet a lot of people, people like doing things for me and I like hooking people up. So maybe I have a few connections. Showcased in the fact that I'm getting a brand new MacBook Pro for $875 instead of $1200. Which is AWESOME. If I can figure out how to work it.

My solution to the boy problem is alcohol. On Sunday, I shall get a lil tipsy, go to roller derby, hang out with all of my awesome friends, impress him with my awesome friends and maybe awesome outfit, and then drunkenly make out a lil. Maybe. If I can grow some imaginary balls.

Can some of my "connects" help me out with that? Doubt it.

My real plan: to do nothing. I have no idea. And I hate thinking about boys. Ima ride the wave and see what happens. If anything does, I have no doubt a little liquid courage will help me out a lot. Otherwise, I'm resting on my laurels. And my connections. Thanks guys.

Oh, Priorities

Currently in class listening to a very boring, but important and confusing lecture that will be very helpful for the massive homework assignment that is due Friday. Instead of paying attention, I'm currently downloading a program so I can upgrade my blog's template and personalize it because I really really want to.

And that's where priorities come into play. My highest priority is my happiness.

Last night, my friends got into a second, less heated conversation about buying things vs. doing them yourself. For instance, my friend got a bike tire changed for $8 instead of buying a tube for $5 and doing it himself. He paid for convenience. And happiness. And he could afford it so he did. And once people have money, they are more willing to pay for convenience. Another example: no one needs an iPhone. But it's super convenient and cool, so people are willing to spend the extra money.

Anyway, I have no idea where I'm going with this blog post, and my program has just downloaded, so by Saturday I should have a whole different thing going on here. Thank goodness. It's time for a change.

Unwaxed Poetic

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted in desire

I hold with those that favor fire.

But if I had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

Mondays and Wednesdays kill me. Every. Single. Week. I'm exhausted. And this morning I got called out by a professor. So far, we've turned in one assignment that I failed horribly because I just forgot to do it and we've taken exactly one test. After he was done handing back the assignment and test together, he pulled me aside and told me he expected better from the way I participate in class and carry myself. The girl sitting next to me (we're those "oh hey how ya doing let's sit by each other so we can wake each other up all the time" friends, not too close but very handy) got a worse grade than I did on each paper and all she got was a little "eh, do a little better". Why? How could my professor tell?

My work friend told me today "you're just not good at hiding your intelligence." Which I suppose is fair, but I'm not sure why. What is it that makes my intelligence come out? Especially at work? Slinging burritos and margaritas isn't exactly rocket science. In fact, most of the staff is inebriated (in one way or another) most of the time. The other half are just plain lunatics.

And the way I talk? I don't pronounce many words right and I also have a slightly limited vocabulary. (Listen, I grew up with a Southern dad, a Pennsylvania Dutch mother, the first three years of my life I heard Long Islanders speak, and then I spent most of my education in Central Bumfuck PA - talk about a myriad of accents). And I have annoying habits like saying "anyway" ALL OF THE TIME as a conversation ender/segue. Or "so" or "well" or "uhhhhhhhhh, so yea".

Plus, I picture most really intelligence people as well dressed, on time, studious expression, eye contact, normal social skills, and sort of conservative looking. I am always wearing a restaurant T-shirt and cut offs with ugly black sneakers. I am perpetually 15 minutes late. Mouth open, eyes unblinking does NOT count as a studious expression last time I checked. Eye contact? What's that? Normal social skills? I was awkward at so many tables to day. The awkward was palpable. As for sort of conservative looking? I have 4 to many piercings and the attire on that I mentioned above.

But I do have this going for me: people do invite me along places because they wanna hang out and make decent conversation. Intelligent people are required for decent conversations. Therefore, I must either make decent conversation or be intelligent. Right?

Oh, logic.

Toy with me not!

I believe you,

I just don't know.

- Andrea

It's the End of the Beginning

If you're a 20-something you may be running into the end of the beginning. I'm graduating for the second time in my life, but this is a much bigger end of the beginning. College is awesome. Day drinking, chillin, napping, classes, all your friends living with you and running into you everyday. It's like leaving a community. Luckily I'm easing out with grad school...

Anyway, the transition sucks. But hopefully the next part will be better.

Time has Escaped

My life is busy. And I've been feeling unmotivated to write blog posts. Mostly because now I only have time to write one a week and I have about 24,690,712,999 topics I'd like to post about in a week. I work about 36-42 hours a week, go to 19 hours of class, and when I get an hour of free time, drinks and TV are in order.

However, I have about 20 minutes to waste because I finished a test early. A test in a class that I have been called out for sleeping twice. The first time (picture the professor talking in a jovial Bulgarian accent):

"An-drey-a, am I boring you?"
"No, sir. I'm just super tired and didn't have time to get coffee because walking in late to a class just because I got coffee seems rude. Yes, I walked in late without coffee because somehow that made more sense?"

The second time (after break in the next class):
"An-drey-a, coffee really helps you, eh?"
Timid smile and a "cheers" motion

While I forgot to do the homework and probably recieved a 50% on it, I definetly nailed that test to the refrigerator door.

In other news, has anyone else noticed the skimpy clothes girls should NOT be wearing? I get a lot of chances to people watch because I have random 10 minute breaks when I sit outside with my roommate Liz while we complain about boys and classes while laughing at people who look ridiculous in short shorts. Do these people not own mirrors? At the same time I hope no one judges me as harshly because Lord knows I frequently forget (don't have time) to shower or look in the mirror. Yesterday I almost came to campus with one eye maked-uped and the other one not.

Oh boy.

Off to class, then work. Maybe another, more interesting and funny post tomorrow?

Doubtful.

Slainte!

Needs a Notebook

This one needs....a new liver. AND a notebook. AND a better work schedule with more money and less work. Preferably.

I feel like the only thing I can do about the above list though is buy a damn notebook already. Cuz a liver costs a little bit too much. And the only way to do the last thing is find a sugar daddy. And I tried that already. It was fun, but....well, that's another story for another day.

About the notebook. I have a lot of ideas for blog posts. And for potential businesses. But I fail to write them down. Or if I do, it's on the back of a receipt from Wawa that gets thrown away with the bag, or covered in cat poo when I clean out Nelly's litter.

I love her and I love business ideas and I love blogging. But I'm not digging through ammonia and cat poo to pull out a receipt that may or may not have a million dollar idea on it. Or an entertaining one. I feel like it crosses a hypothetical line that I feel sometimes needs to be thrown down in my life so I can toe at it.

Anyway. I need a notebook. One that fits in a messenger bag and has a spot for a pen that I can't lose.

If I had a notebook I might be blogging about a ton of things. Such as:

1. Having a notebook.

2. Central PA and my awesome adventures there.

3. Cultural differences among races in urban areas. The melting pot paradox if you will.

4. How I love my spiffy, hipster-looking notebook.

5. Funny or ironic things. Like Hiney Hiders.

6. How I have a perfect entrepreneurial personality. (We're talking about it in class...characteristics: hates failure, obsessive, works over 60 hours a week, competitive, etc).

7. About how I didn't have a pen, but I had my notebook, which means I had a pen.

8. The other 37 ideas I had for interesting blog posts this week while I didn't have internet.

9. How I need a job. And ideas for getting one.

10. Schmandrew Schmangle mangles management. Or bathroom graffiti. Which would lead me on an interesting/slightly eccentric discussion about murals in Philly.

11. How jealous I am of my best friend's notebook. Actually all of my male best friends' have notebooks that make me green with envy.

12. My new work crush. Who is adorable.

In lieu of writing about any of those 11 things, I'm going to go back to "paying attention" in class. This term will surely kick my butt. Yay graduating senior!!