Smelly or Geeky?

I had a question this morning. So, like everyone under the age of 40-ish, I just typed my entire question into Google. Of course I got an answer, because I am not the first person to ask the question "why does sweat smell?"

Okay, the obvious answer is bacteria. But, here are a few things you probably didn't know about sweat (or smell)...

• Everyone has a unique odor that is noticed by everyone else (subconsciously usually). Strong attraction takes place when the olfactory senses know that another person has a "histocompatibility complex" or a different immune system that is compatible. This is part of "survival of the fittest" because the strong attraction might generally lead to children which will have a stronger immune system.
• Sweat contains steroid compounds. There are 16-ish elements and depending on which one is the strongest, people smell differently. The two that I read about produce either musky or urine-y smells.
• Diabetic people that are out-of-whack smell like acetone.
• Experts can smell lung cancer on the breath of patients.
• Trained dogs can sniff out bladder cancer.
• If your sweat smells like ammonia after exercising, it is due to a lack of carbohydrates. The body has to break down amino acids instead of carbs for energy which strips out nitrogen and produces urea. If the kidneys can't handle the load, the nitrogen comes out your skin and smells like ammonia.

In other news, the economy is down so much that the Super Bowl will be effected. It will probably not sell out (tickets are currently at a 'low' $1400). Playboy is not hosting their annual party and ads are not selling out. The price for putting an ad up during the Super Bowl has gone down but the spots that are filled are also down.

Also, retired football players are dying and their brains are being studied by researchers. Apparently repeated concussions actually damage the entire brain. It's called chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Click here to read more.

In a new study, most Americans want to move. Among other things, it found that most Republicans would like to live in Phoenix, while most Democrats chose San Francisco. Notice, both those places have warm weather!

What Goes Around....

karma: the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence (definition from webster-merriam online)

Take a moment and ponder about what the world would be like if everyone believed in karma.

::moment::

Alright, now that the world is a much better place, breathe deeply and do a good deed today. Like Mr. Rogers would if he were alive. I know some people think that Mr. Rogers is a little creepy...but the following are some of the reasons why Mr. Rogers is actually one of the best humans ever. (Read a complete article here).

1. Thieves wouldn't steal from him: Mr. Rogers drove a simple car. One day, it was stolen. So, being a regular American citizen that he was, Mr. Rogers filed a police report that was reported on by all media outlets. The car jackers apparently watched the news, found that they had stolen Mr. Rogers car, returned it with a note that said "if we had known it was yours, we would have never taken it."

2. Public television and the ability to tape public television onto a VHS tape would have never been a legal idea if Mr. Rogers hadn't gone to Congress and campaigned for family rights. His idea was that parents should watch TV with their kids so that they can monitor, talk, and spend quality time together.

3. As an ordained minister, Mr. Rogers drew flak from conservative/most Protestants because he refused to castigate gays, non-believers, and in general everyone who wasn't perfect. He kept telling everyone that God loved them for who they were. (You go Mr. Rogers!)

4. He was colorblind, figuratively and literally. He couldn't see the color blue. Also, his parents took in a foster child when he was little...the foster child was black, but I bet Mr. Rogers never noticed.

5. In New York, Mr. Rogers once hopped onto a subway train because he and a colleague were late for a meeting and traffic was horrible. Everyone on the train began singing "its a beautiful day in the neighborhood." Do you know what kind of person it takes to get a whole NYC subway car smiling and singing?

In addition to all of this information, I have a second-hand source that confirms that Mr. Rogers was actually this nice and tolerant and that it's not just a story made up to commemorate him after death. I have an email to prove it too! (Thanks to Jo).

Have a happy hump day. Do a good deed. And stay warm and dry.

News Round Up

Latest and breaking news and what it sounds like. I took the liberty of deleting a couple of headlines because they were too dang depressing.

Used MP3 player contains U.S. secrets
Sounds like: James Bond lost his MP3, car chase ensues
KCBD: FedEx plane crashes in Texas
Sounds like: Castaway II (but instead of Wilson, ranch cattle used)
Inspectors find mildew in peanut butter plant
Sounds like: The plant that grows peanut butter is moldy
Brown: Bailout a bigger mystery each day
Sounds like: U.S. needs Sherlock Holmes
Blagojevich name-drops: Gandhi, Oprah
Sounds like: “Oh yea, you know, Gandhi, Oprah, I’ve done ‘em both!”
Blah-blah-blah-Blagojevich: 'Fix is in'
Sounds like: New band Blahblahblah Blagojevich releases hit single “Fix is in”
Ticker: Obama's scared of me, says Limbaugh
Sounds like: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Seeking perfect latte? Use flashlight
Sounds like: Go to the coffee shop, shine a flashlight around, if any latte has a reflector on it, that’s the perfect one. Bring it back…shhhhh…it’s the Holy Grail…
Pastor Ted Haggard faces new sex allegations
Sounds like: Pastor faces having sex allegations (pastors have sex too? nonsense)
Octuplets' births surprise California doctors
Sounds like: Octopi births surprise doctors; they were expecting humans
Rescued dogs pregnant with 1,500 pups
Sounds like: 101 Dalmatians! Only 1500 Dalmatians.

In other news, recently Japanese companies have been urged by the government to hurry along reproduction. Human reproduction that is. Normally Japanese workdays are about 12 hours long, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays Canon makes their workers leave at 5 so they can go home and procreate. Why? Well the birthrate for Japan is 1.34. To maintain the population like the government wants to, the birthrate must be 2. My question is: is Canon also handing out condoms on Tuesdays and Thursdays?

And finally, this last headline...I think doing a "sounds like" would not be as funny as the actual headline:

Mom catches surprise twin in pants

Happy Toosday!

Everything Tastes Bad after Toothpaste

Everyone has a routine in the morning when they're getting ready for work, school, or an event. I prefer to eat (if I'm going to), shower, then brush my teeth. The reasoning behind this is that everything tastes like crap after toothpaste. Everything. Picture a big ole piece of chocolate cake with peanut butter and chocolate icing...it's warm and gooey and delicious...you take a fork and grab a piece and UGGGHHHHHHH! It taste horrible because you chose to brush your teeth before dessert.

Sodium laureth sulfate or sodium lauryl sulfate is to blame, depending on which kind of toothpaste you use. These sulfates (oh yea, high school chemistry!) are used to make something more spreadable and foamy; so the toothpaste doesn't stick to all your teeth and you feel like you're getting cleaner because of the foam. Unfortunately, what sulfates do to your tongue is suppress all of the sweet taste buds and amplify the bitter ones. That means everything tasted is way less sweet and way more bitter. Awesome combo.

What else is this chemical used for? Well detergent, surfboard wax, fabric softener, paint, laxatives, and insecticides. The good new is (and yes, good news does exist on Mondays) that you can buy toothpaste that won't ruin your breakfast. The only downside to these sulfate-free alternatives is that you won't foam at the mouth like you have rabies when you brush.


In other news, keep in your prayers (or memories if you don't pray) the 4 Drexel kids that are in critical condition, the 2 that died, and an art student that just was stabbed to death that one of my roommates knew.

Justice for One and All

Contemplating 3rd degree murder? The Drexel girl that killed her baby about a two years ago (my freshman year) is now going to jail. On the weekends. For 21 weekends. For 45 days. 45 days for 3rd degree murder. On the weekends. Eh?

Contemplating a pyramid scheme? A lot of people in Chile (8 more weeks til I'm there!) just got ripped off by some woman selling magic cheese. This magic cheese was supposedly all the rage in French moisturizers and make-up, so the Chileans thought they'd be able to sell the cheese that they made from the kit they bought from the woman who overcharged them by about $287 (USD). This just proves a business theory: if you can make it, you can sell it, no matter how ridiculous.



Try on Aretha Franklin's inaugural hat. Its a picture so you can see what you would look like with this ridiculous and ridiculously expensive hat on.



Since it's Friday and I'm lazy, enjoy the meaty pictures below. One is from the Meatpaper which is a paper all about meat. Go figure! The other is the longestest link of sausage in the world. (The name of this blog is random, what did you expect?)

Career Fair!

When you are 4, you want to be a firefighter, doctor, or policeman. When you are 8 you wanna be a vet, rockstar, or pro athlete. When you're 15 you wanna be a college student studying education, business, zoology or drinking. Then you turn 17 and start applying to colleges. Some people wanna be dental hygienists or x-ray techs because they'll make a lot of money and not have to go to school or get good grades for very long. Some people decide to be drug dealers. Some people decide they want to go to a 4 (or 5) year college to graduate and make a lot of money. But doing what? Eh, you're 17, what do you know about the world let alone yourself? Personally, I'm 20, and I still use the phrase "when I grow up I'm gonna..." a lot. Probably too much.

For all of you who just paid $40,000/yr to get a degree, here are the top 10 most satisfying careers according to one study. I hope yours is here....

1. Clergy (87% satisfied and happy)
2. Physical Therapist (78% satisfied and happy)
3. Criminal Investigators and Special Agents (77.5% satisfied and happy)
4. Vet Technologists and Technicians (72.9% satisfied and happy)
***^who knew there were technologists and technicians??
5. Teachers (69% satisfied and happy)
6. Education Administrators (68% satisfied and happy)
7. Psychologists (almost 67% satisfied and happy)
8. Engineers (66.8% satisfied and happy)
***^no, they don't say what kind of engineers
9. Security and Financial Services Salespersons (65% satisfied)
***^this list is becoming less believable all the time
10. Office Supervisors (60% satisfied)

So THESE are the people that are most satisfied in life. Somehow, I think this study is a little off-kilter. What about firefighters, volunteers, Mr. Rogers, presidents of countries....aren't they happy? It's funny how civilization forces people do to different careers that they may not be happy doing, but will get paid lots to do.


In other news, stop making fun of Sarah Palin. Seriously. She's mad! I guess that just means she'll have to keep talking to the media. We should at least lay off so we don't have to hear about her anymore! However, I think she is trying to get a bid to run for president in 2012. I've read many political analyst that say she is positioning herself for candidacy.

Also, be careful with Facebook. They've started catching people for crimes! In New Zealand, a burglar was arrested because someone found his picture on facebook and identified him to police. An Australian couple has just gotten served on facebook. I wonder how that shows up in the News Feed....

Mr. Stickupmyars just wrote on Nancy's wall:
"Hey Nancy, you've been SERVED!."
Nancy just wrote on Mr. Stickupmyars's wall:
"You are the crappiest lawyer EVER."


One more list you should know is the "most ticketed" list. People that drive Hummer SUVs were 4.36 more likely to get some kind of driving ticket that the average person. Also on the most ticketed list are drivers of Subaru Outback, Audi A4, Toyota Camry, Toyota Matrix, Toyota Solara, Scion tC, xB, and xA, and Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG and CLK63 AMG.

The least ticketed are Chevy Tahoes, Chevy Suburbans, mini-vans, Buicks, and pickup trucks. So basically, be an old person and drive a Buick OR drive something that guzzles gas.

Happy f-ing Thursday.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Yesterday I was having a conversation with someone about happiness. Does everyone deserve to be happy? One of the basic principles of this country is that everyone is equal and have certain unalienable rights, like the pursuit of happiness. But, the pursuit is totally different than having actual happiness. All that we can do for other people is make sure that their pursuit is not blocked. (Which is why I think I should be able to take SEPTA and whatever movie is filming in City Hall today to the Supreme Court because they violated my right to happiness. Because right now I'm the opposite of happy, I am angry. Probably because I stood outside for 20 minutes waiting.)



Anyway, I think it poses an interesting question about happiness. Do we make it ourselves? Can everyone be happy? Does everyone deserve to be happy? Or are we just supposed to work towards happiness all of our lives? Hmmmm...





On a lighter note...Obama is now the president. We shall see what happens in the next 4 years. I hope that President Bush sleeps for 2 weeks. I think he deserves it.


And finally, to wrap up this Wednesday I'm paraphrasing this article from Mentalfloss.com about famous actors and roles they turned down.

Cary Grant - Turned down the role of James Bond in the first 007 movie
Regret? None really.

Will Smith - Turned down the role of Neo in the Matrix
Regret? Nah.

Michael Madsen - Turned down Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction
Regret? Heck yes!

Sean Connery - Turned down Gandolf in Lord of the Rings
Regret? Yes, he missed out on almost $400 million



Happy hump day.

Inauguration Tuesday

Having a holiday on a weekday rocks. While I do not celebrate MLK Day, Columbo Day, or Presidents Day, I at least appreciate these fine men's contribution to my holiday schedule and I do keep in mind that they shaped this wonderful world we live in today.

The inauguration of the 44th President of the United States is today. It's a historic event because 60 years ago, the man that is going to become the new president would have had to sit on the back of the bus, enter businesses through the back door, and go to a separate public school.

The corporate world owns my life right now or I could witness this monumental event. Why would they not give a holiday to everyone today? I mean, wasn't there a holiday when Amelia flew around the world? Or when Gandhi/Mother Teresa spoke? Or when the Pope died/a new one got elected and the world was watching for smoke? Is one 8-hour work day really as important as a new leader of the free world being established? I mean, Philadelphia shut down the whole city because the Phillies won the World Series. Not everyone likes baseball, but the new president effects everyone!

Anyway, I just talked to someone the other day who attended Reagan's inauguration. We had asked her what time it starts on Tuesday and she told the following story:

It must have been in the earlier part of the day. Back when they didn't
have security everywhere me and my girlfriends went and sat on the capital lawn
for Reagan's speech. We were there with backpacks full of beer and
needless to say, I don't remember much. I just remember how I felt it was
weird that I was drinking a beer at 10 a.m. at the nation's capital.
Afterwards, me and all my girlfriends put on our prettiest dances and tried to
get into every ball we could find. Like we belonged there! We didn't end up getting into any balls, but it was fun anyway!

I want to be able to tell a story like that!

Well I hope everything goes well today for the new president and everyone involved. May the party be like Andrew Jackson's which went into the next day and where the alcohol flowed so freely they set it up on the front lawn to get people to get out of the White House the next day! Jackson's was the craziest party so far in the history of the U.S. His inauguration marked the first time a non-elite non-east coaster won the presidency. It was considered a huge step for the common man. Sound familiar?

Barack, party like its 1829.

Poptarts

So I walk into this class I'm taking on food writing. Why am I taking a class on food writing? Kinda has to do with the fact that I didn't know it was about food writing (the title of the class is very deceiving). The professor says "I'm going to give you a sample of a great American food, and then you're going to write about it for 15-20 minutes." I was freaking out because its hard for me to focus on something uninteresting for more than 30 seconds, and writing about this great American food for 20 minutes was intimidating. When I saw what we were writing about, I wanted to immediately drop the class.

Plates were passed around of store-brand poptarts, or, toaster pastries. Strawberry to be exact. What we came up with was kind of funny. Who knew there would be so many different views on poptarts?

I started my writing with "Poptarts: the great American pastry. Mass produced and sold as a quick breakfast for all ages." I had two good sentences. They were good because they were funny. I thought it was a serious assignment or I would have had more. They were along the lines of "There's sprinkles on top of the hard and very sugary "icing". Well, they're jimmies if you're from Philly. They're not really sprinkles though; they are more like old pop rocks gone stale."

Some people wrote about how poptarts bring them back to their childhood. Well, I must still be in childhood, because Brown Cinnamon Sugar poptarts and chocolate milk (low-fat of course) is one of my favorite breakfasts. One person wrote about how much they hate poptarts and how her boyfriend is a poptart savant. She said S'mores poptarts were bad so I felt she was a trustworthy writer. Some people liked the icing; one person was mature because they didn't like the icing. One person had NEVER had a poptart before! NEVER. I was surprised, sorta, but I don't think he's from America (the accent and lack of deodorant tipped me off) so I guess its a plausible thing.

There was another view. One I was going to take, but the prof asked us to describe the poptart and I took that literally. Poptarts can describe America, almost like handmade pasta can describe Italy. They are quick, easy, and lazy. Poptarts hold almost no nutritional value but are still marketed as "part of a balanced breakfast". Uneducated people don't know that their kids need a big ole vitamin pill and a laxative washed down with orange juice to balance out the poptarts. But poptarts are also something that bring the public together. Man, if you're handing out free poptarts, all kinds of people will come enjoy them. Kid, older people, homeless people, black, white, hispanic, immigrant, Jew, Christian, vegetarians (maybe), vegans (probably not), wealthy, poor, middle-class. So are poptarts good or bad? It's kind of like asking if America is good or bad. It's both I think. Certainly not perfect. The parallels are actually kind of scary. At least a poptart never invaded another country!

Who knew you could write for 20 minutes about poptarts?

Happy Friday everyone!

Oopsies

In any advanced business course, and I use the term "advanced" loosely, if marketing is talked about, so are certain faux pas that have occured in the past. See, sometimes companies come up with this GREAT SLOGAN, or AWESOME NAME and everyones SOOOO excited because its GREAT marketing. Well, sometimes it's actually shiteious marketing. Like when the ad's translated into Spanish, or, when a slogan was used by a group of mass murderers years ago.

For example:

This coffee chain used the slogan "To Each His Own" or "Jedem das Siene" which the Nazis happened to ALSO use above one of the arches for a concentration camp. That did not go over well, especially since it was a German coffee shop. (Another little piece of trivia, the most famous concentration camps had "Work Will Set You Free" or "Arbeit macht Frei" on the arches.)

The Chevy Nova came out in the 90s. When they decided to release the car in Mexico, Chevy thought they might as well keep the same name. Except "No Va" in Spanish means "Doesn't Go". Way to go Chevy, pun intended.

In Arabic, the Jolly Green Giant is translated to "Intimidating Green Ogre" or "Shrek" for the little ones.

The word "Gerber", as in the baby food, means "vomiting" or "to stack or pile" in french. Yea, Gerber sells REALLY WELL in France. Also, Gerber made another faux pas when it started shipping baby food into Africa. Cuz apparently in Africa they put pictures of what's inside on the outside of products. So, who wants to buy a jar of babies? Mushy babies at that.

Perdue Chicken had a slogan that was translated into Spanish as follows: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate.” Oopies.

So, moral of the story, if you start a coffee shop in Germany, don't call "lattes" "lattes" cuz it means "erection" in German.

Just Drink Up

Just Drink Up...

People do all sorts of weird things to get outta trouble.  This can be indentified by looking at some of the following cases:

"Pilot Bails Out of Plane to Fake Death"

So this guy crashed near Milton, Florida (my source down there says that most of the very small town was talking about the fire from the other week and not about the plane that had just crashed...the world knew about the BIG PLANE CRASH first).  He jumped out of the plane and is currently hiding.  What is he hiding from?  I'd like to think its either from a crazy biotch (wife, girlfriend, or both), the law, finances, or big goons who are after him for some reason or another.  But, why couldn't he just go on a cruise and disappear.  Maybe it was for insurance reasons??  hmmmmmm maybe he's onto something.

Then there are the people that actually kill themselves to get away from something.  Or they kill other people.  Like the guy the other day that killed his son because he had to start to pay child support.

There are other people that just walk away.  Kinda like that guy whose name I cannot recall whose body wasn't ever found.  I'm pretty sure he could've just walked away.  I mean, people live next to bank robbers all the time.  I just watched Unsolved Mysteries today (oh, thats ANOTHER good thing to do on a sick day) and this bank robber and his wife were living in hiding/out in the open for 16 years or some-shiznit.  Their neighbors didn't know til TV intervened.

Anyway, my advice to everyone is: just drink up your punishment.  Or don't get caught.

P.S.  Did you know that it is easier for a person to fall in love with an inmate.  Because the inmate doesn't have a job or a life really, they can spend 10x more time just thinking about the person they are seeing.  That makes them much more attractive and romantic.  Inneresting, right?! 

Sick Days

So, "sick days" are something widely used in our society.  Here are some activities that can be done on "sick days".

1.  Finish up the 89237409328 item to-do list thats been sitting on your desk for 7 years covered in about 5 years worth of dust.

2.  Sit around in PJs all day and gorge on food.

3.  Sleep

4.  Go skiing/go to the beach...depending on the weather

5.  Take your kids, animals, or yourself to the vet, doctor, dentist, gyno, optometrist, colonist, nudist, massagist.

6.  Go to that awesome concert and smoke/drink for 5+ hours.

7.  Start pub crawling at 2 p.m.

8.  Grocery shopping, mailing letters, painting that bathroom door

9.  Go to the mall and get as many free samples as possible

10.  Watch Ferris Buellers Day Off, then emulate it.

Sick days rock!!!!!!!

Also, read this...before dinner.

Is it the Beginning of the End?

So...for those of you who know Srav, she is back on the Rock. It is also a New Year! Sounds to me like the perfect time to restart providing random tibits of information for people.

Watch This.

The above is a video link to something that I cannot believe aired in the Arab nations. "Here is a powerful and amazing statement on Al Jazeera television. The woman is Wafa Sultan, an Arab-American psychologist from Los Angeles . I would suggest watching it ASAP because I don't know how long the link will be active. This film clip should be shown around the world repeatedly!"

It's definitely an AWESOME statement and I hope she continues to speak out.


Here is another link. THIS is the salmon dance. It is totally not serious, but it is very cool ;)


In other news...last night I thought of something and was like "oh man, I should write about this tomorrow." I think it may be semi-interesting to the philosphers/anthropology peoples.

A lie-detector test is not faultless. But we still use it. But, it is not only faulty because it sometimes does not work because of electronical troubles.
Hypothetically speaking, let's say I administer a lie detector test to someone named Bertha G (who is a very nice old lady that helped me find tofu in the grocery store, although I don't think she had ever heard of it before). Now, I show Bertha G a color wheel. I KNOW that color 1 is red and color 2 is green. But Bertha G also KNOWS that color 1 is green and color 2 is red. We'll amount this to a generation/cultural gap. So when I give her the test, I know that she's lying when she says "Color 2 is red" because I know that color 2 is actually green. But the machine says she's telling the truth. Because she is. Because it's the truth for her.

Someone can tell me what theory I just explained above. (cough cough tony srav or michelle).


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SRAV!!!!!!!!