When you have weird allergies...

Sunflowers ruin my life.  As I'm typing, I feel as though there is a tiny green monster in my stomach that is kicking and punching and screaming to get out.  This very mental picture may be why I don't want kids.  The little green monster has a sunflower head and only Benydryl and Epinephrine can tame this wild beast.   Problems arise when you have seasonal AND food allergies and taking an extra antihistamine can cause serious damage to your health.  ANOTHER reason I don't want kids - I can barely keep from dying some days, how am I supposed to care about someone who can't pour their own effin' milk?  (Ew, milk.)

Sunflower anything:

Yes, these demonically, artistically photographed things will kill me.  But have no fear!  They will not kill you.  Apparently, they won't kill anyone else on the plant.  My brother doesn't believe me - which is not such a big deal because he is 17 and not a doctor.  However my doctor, a renowned allergist ( who did almost call me a liar in the first 5 minutes of conversation we had) did lots of research and while they can't prove that I'm allergic, he believes me!  He believes me so much so that I got an epipen.  Oh yes.  An epipen.  Whose the biggest badass now? Huh? HUH? 

Except this badass can't eat: chips, white popcorn, SunChips, some types of bread, and basically any artificially flavored junk food out there.  Now, my dear young brother, I ask you who has known me for ages:  Do you really think I would voluntarily give junk food up?

I'll have to ask him that next time I see him.

In 2029...

In 2029 I'll be 41.  If I get that far in life.  I mean, it's 20 years from now.  Eek, old age.  Old smelley age.

Anyway, one of the perks of studying business trends (in economics and international business anyway), is that you get to see a snapshot of the future.  So, you know the EU?  The European Union, with its almost combined economic and fiscal policies and it's (at first) controversial unified currency?  The one that won't let certain countries, like Turkey or the Ukraine, in because of human rights, religion, values, and economics (or something like that)?  Yea, well, by 2021, Turkey will be in the EU.

And by 2019 UNASUR will be fully established.  UNASUR will be most of the Latin American countries, united with common global goals, a common currency, and modeled after the EU.  Surprisingly, this scares a lot of people.  But I have a feeling that after a lot of fighting like little children, UNASUR will be more open to trade and the countries (like Venezuela) that are unstable will straighten up a little and the GDP Per Capita will go up (um...for none business people, that means that everyone will have more money).

Basically the model the EU and UNASUR will make the world into continents that are countries.  Like the United States, there will be very large tracts of land, many countries (states) with free travel in between, a common currency, "state" governments, and an overall fiscal/economic control.  Weird, eh?

I've heard rumors that eventually these will overlap.  Finally making everyone's dream of world control possible.  

But, we'll talk about that in about 30 years...

Obituarys

Obituaries, one of the most read thing in paper newspapers.

They have these in car magazines now too.  The following is a sampling:

In Memoriam
Turn Signals, Age 84

The use of turn signals by American drivers dies last Wednesday.  Their passing was not unexpected.  Turn signals had been steadily derided since the late '80s , when Americans had come to a consensus that lifting a finger several times a day was an imposition on their busy lives.

Turn signals were born in 1925.  At the time, the seemed like a clever method of indicating a driver's intentions, but as the years wore on, U.S. drivers increasingly became unaware of their own intentions.  

Turn signals had earlier gone into a coma when BMW eliminated the up-and-down detents for the signal stalk, but the proximate cause of death was full gridlock in L.A. last Wednesday, a day on which it became impossible for any car to turn anyway.

Besides the fact that I don't know what detents are, I totally am mourning this loss to bikers, pedestrians, and the toll on insurance in America.

Also, say goodbye to your brain cells as you celebrate Cinco de Mayo!  (Come to Mad Mex to visit if you are in Philadelphia!)

feliz cinco de mayo

I Had a Five Week Vacation...

...and all I got was some decent grades on a crapton of tests.

So it's week six and I still have midterms to study for.   My life has been hectic, but because I love Srav, and I also kind of like to write (even if it would be considered stupid by the aliens that will eventually find earth's remains, read this blog, and decide that we all had an underdeveloped sense of humor and an overdeveloped sense of self worth) stoop time has returned.

Luckily, I started working at a restaurant, and thanks to all those stupid drunk people out there, I have PLENTY of new material to talk about.  I have also irrevocably proven that just 3 beers can make people think other people are about 10x more attractive.  Here is my proof:

In my life, I've been hit on an average of about 5 times/year.  Starting working at a bar, I get hit on 5 times/week.  Now, keep in mind, I'm not 21, so I don't normally hang out at bars, so that might have something to do with it.  Okay, so now the "logical" human brain says, "Andrea, this proves nothing.  You are not logical.  The reason you've been getting hit on is because you are at a bar, NOT just because of your 3 beer theory."

Sigh, Okay Logic, but listen here, most people in a bar have had three beers.  And you haven't heard the best part yet.  Let me paint a picture of what I ACTUALLY look like when I work.  I have jeans on that are too big, a shirt that is also too big and not flattering at all.  My hair is up, my makeup is either not on or is messy.  I have a rag hanging on my hip that is dirty with wing sauce, ranch, bleu cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and probably puke.  I'm COVERED in salt, sugar, and various forms of alcohol.

If the alcohol can erase all that, it's ugly people's best friend.

Til next time.